Chapter 97 Valen's Confession
Valen sat down, his movements slow and deliberate, as if afraid one wrong step would break the fragile air between them. Across from him, Ella sat rigidly, her eyes rimmed with the evidence of tears she had yet to completely hide. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, clearing her throat.
“I’m sorry,” she said softly, her voice still hoarse from crying. She straightened her back, trying to project a calm she didn’t feel. “You can… you can go on.”
Valen’s chest tightened. He wasn’t sure where to start, or if he should even start at all. But the weight of unspoken truths was suffocating him. He took a deep breath, his crimson eyes fixed on the table between them.
“I had a mate once. Her name was Lydia.”
Ella’s brow twitched, but she didn’t interrupt, simply leaning forward slightly, her posture attentive. Valen paused, the words tasting bitter on his tongue. Memories he’d locked away clawed their way to the surface.
“She was my everything,” Valen said, his voice tinged with a bitterness he couldn’t quite mask. “But during the war with the rogues…” He paused, swallowing the lump forming in his throat. “She was badly injured.”
The memory was a dagger, twisting deep in his chest. He forced himself to go on.
“I was desperate. I heard about the healers in your world. He continued, his voice tightening. I didn’t care about the risks; I just… I needed to save her. I’d heard they could save even the most hopeless cases. So, I went to them. I begged them to help her.”
Ella’s fingers tightened slightly on the edge of her seat, but she stayed silent, her face unreadable.
“When I arrived with her, bleeding and barely clinging to life, they turned their backs on me. They refused to even try.” His voice grew rough as the memories resurfaced. “I begged them, Ella. I pleaded with every ounce of pride I had left. But all I saw in their eyes was hatred—hatred for me, hatred for Lydia, hatred for what we were.”
“They refused me,” Valen whispered. “They left her to die. I stayed there, holding her as the life drained from her body. Lydia… she deserved better than that. She didn’t deserve to die because of centuries-old hatred.” His jaw tightened as his next words came out in a low, trembling growl. “So I swore vengeance. On all of them. Every healer. Every last one.”
Ella shifted slightly, her expression still unreadable, though her breathing had grown shallower.
Valen paused and exhaled deeply, the silence between them heavy. When he finally spoke again, his voice was lower, harder. “I was broken. And then I was angry. I killed them all,” Valen admitted, his voice hollow. “Not just the healers who refused me, but their families. Their children. I wanted them to feel my pain. I wanted them to suffer as I did. I didn’t stop until I had erased their existence.”
The room felt colder now, the weight of his words suffocating. Valen didn’t dare look at her. He stared at the floor instead, his shoulders slumping as shame warred with the grief he’d carried for years.
“I know what you’re thinking,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. “I was a monster. And maybe I still am.”
“I hated your kind for so long, Ella. I thought that hatred would be my strength, that it would keep me from ever feeling that kind of loss again. But then… you came along.”
At this, he finally looked up, his eyes locking onto hers. “I didn’t know I would be given another soulmate. I didn’t think it was possible. And especially not a werewolf. A healer.” He laughed bitterly, the sound devoid of humor. “I thought it was a cruel joke. To be bonded to someone from the very people I despised? It felt like mockery.”
Ella’s lips parted as if she wanted to speak, but no words came out. She stared at him, her body tense as if bracing for what would come next.
“I fought it,” Valen said. “I fought the bond with everything I had. I didn’t want to feel. I didn’t want my heart to beat again. Love made me weak once before. If I hadn’t been weak, Lydia wouldn’t have died. If I hadn’t been weak, the rogues wouldn’t have dared to cross me.”
He looked down again, his voice dropping to a whisper. “But the bond doesn’t care about what you want. It pulls you in, no matter how much you fight it. No matter how much you hate it. And every time I saw you, Ella, I hated myself more. Because I didn’t want to care about you. But I did. I do.”
Silence settled between them, stretching painfully long. When Ella finally spoke, her voice was quiet, but her words cut through the tension like a blade. “So my coming here… it wasn’t because you needed my healing abilities?”
Valen shook his head. “No,” he admitted, his voice heavy with regret. “At first, I wanted you dead.”
Ella's breath hitched, her hands curling into fists in her lap. She had expected that, but hearing it directly from his mouth were like daggers piercing her heart. “So I could’ve been killed just because I’m a healer?”
“Yes.” His voice was steady now. “I wanted to see the last healer alive. I wanted to end it. End you.” He paused, his eyes burning with unspoken regret.
Ella flinched, the bluntness of his words hitting her like a slap.
“But I couldn’t.” Valen whispered.
“So, what stopped you?”
“I couldn’t bring myself to do it.” His voice was strained, as if the confession pained him. “When I touched your hand, I felt everything you had been through. The pain, the loss, the loneliness—it hit me like a storm. It was overwhelming. I couldn’t add to it. I couldn’t be another name on the list of people who’ve hurt you.”
Ella swallowed hard, her chest tightening. “You could’ve killed me.”
Valen nodded, his gaze dropping again. “But I didn’t. And I never will. At that moment, the hatred I carried for years disappeared. All I wanted was to protect you. To protect my mate.”
Ella stared at him, her lips trembling as she tried to find her voice. When she finally spoke, her words were quiet but firm. “Why didn’t you tell me all this before? Why did you avoid this conversation for so long?”
Valen looked up, holding her gaze for the first time since he’d begun speaking. “Because I was afraid,” he admitted.
“Afraid of what you’d think of me. Afraid that you’d hate me,” he admitted, his voice cracking. “Afraid that I’d lose you. I’ve already lost one mate, Ella. I don’t know if I could survive losing another. I know I don’t deserve forgiveness for what I’ve done, but I’m begging you not to hate me. Whatever decision you make, I’ll accept it. But please…” His voice broke completely, and he lowered his head. “Please don’t hate me.”
For a long moment, Ella said nothing. Her expression was unreadable, her emotions carefully hidden behind a mask of calm. But her eyes betrayed her, shimmering with unshed tears.
For a long moment, Valen held his breath, waiting for her response. His chest tight with dread. He felt like a man standing on the edge of a cliff, waiting to see if he would fall or be pulled back to safety. The silence was suffocating, every second stretching into an eternity. Finally, Ella drew in a shaky breath, her gaze locking onto his.
“I’m sorry about Lydia,” she said softly.