Lashing Out

“Hey,” Royal stared at the pallor of the woman he adored and wondered what was going through her head. “Don’t let her get to you.”

“Do you believe her?” Famke asked blinking through the tears.

“That you were in cahoots with Prince to have a baby, pretend to give it away, just to steal him back years later?” Royal laughed, “no, baby. Not even for a minute. My mother clearly has her own demons to work out over the guilt she’s feeling, especially with everything coming to light. Mindy told you over and over how much of a monster my mother was. We’ve excused her intrusive behaviors for years because we’ve chalked it up to being a mama bear, but she needs therapy.”

“Famke, none of us believe Prince had an affair with you. Even without the letters or the fact they abandoned you to die in a hospital,” Jubi said softly, “we know you. Your heart is good. You wouldn’t do anything like steal someone else’s husband.” She gave a sad laugh, “apparently my mother thinks all the women in her life are homewreckers.”

“Hey,” Keshaun spoke up from behind Jubi, “don’t go there. Kara is angry because our prenup is ironclad and she can’t get a dime and wants to destroy any possibility of me moving on or being happy. She went to the one person she knew would make you upset and it worked.”

“What is wrong with Mom, Royal?” Jubi looked to her brother for answers. “I don’t understand why she’s being like this. She has always been a force to be reckoned with but this behavior of attacking people isn’t the Mom I know.”

“She knew,” Royal shrugged as he wrapped is arms around Famke and kept her close to him. “She knew for months and months ahead of their deaths Prince was miserable. The more information we share about how unhinged he became, the greater her guilt has grown about her contribution to the problem. The more you and I point out the things he did because he felt trapped with Mindy, the guiltier she is feeling. Mom and her sisters have never been good at accepting blame or responsibility for their actions. They all deflect. Famke is the scapegoat. Maybe in Mom’s head she has let herself believe Prince was telling her the truth but, in her heart, she knows he was liar. She knows the truth and it’s hard for her to reconcile how she created such a hostile environment with no support or encouragement, and it festered in him. She has spent the last six months living with the guilt she made him feel he was weak for wanting to leave his wife and it caused them to fight. Their fighting ultimately led to Mindy driving a car she shouldn’t have been driving killing them and nearly killing Precious.”

“You don’t really blame Mom for them dying?” Jubi asked quietly.

Royal thought for a moment before answering his sister. “No. No. Prince made his own choices and decisions. I know though how pushy Mom is and I know this because I was there more than once when Mom was telling him he needed to be a better husband and real men don’t walk out when the going gets tough. She created a hostile environment but,” he held up his hand, “she’s not the one who went and bought drugs. She’s not the one who screwed with his wife’s psychological issues. She’s not the one who turned a blind eye to child abuse happening in the home. He was a grown man who made his own decisions. What I do think, though, is the guilt for not being the supportive person is eating at her. Watching Famke be a great Mom to Precious is putting a spotlight on her own mistakes and the guilt is eating her alive. Instead of acknowledging her missteps she’s lashing out at Famke.”

“She was out of line,” Jubi spoke up. “Her comment to Famke about loving Prince more than you and it’s why she carried Precious but would have an abortion now was more than absurd and it was downright cruel. Come on, Royal.”

“You don’t believe her, do you?” Famke looked to him worriedly.

He heard the sadness in her voice and felt a need to go find his mother and shake her until her head rattled off her thick neck. “Baby, no, please no. I know you never had a thing with Prince. I know you never felt romantic feelings for him. I know you never intended to be Precious’s mom. She was a gift you gave to two selfish assholes out of the goodness of your heart, but I know you didn’t love either of them romantically.” He pulled her closer, “now me, you love. I mean how could you not? I’m the total package. Rich. Sexy. Compassionate and I’m hung like a stallion.” He grinned when she smiled and smacked at him.

“You’re awful.”

“He’s a liar too. I’ve seen him naked. Not a stallion,” Keshaun called out from behind them.

He felt his heart squeeze when she giggled and rested her forehead against his collar. “He’s jealous because I’m sexier than he is.”

Famke shook her head and then sighed, “are you sure you’re not even a little bit thinking she was right?”

“A hundred percent and do you know why?” He stroked her cheek softly.

“No.”

“Because I saw your face when we looked and saw the negative sign. Despite it not being the right time for us, you were disappointed upstairs when it said negative. As scary as it is, with all the health risks and dangers and how new we are, you deep down, were disappointed it was negative.”

“Called it,” Nyx commented from her perch on a nearby chair.

Royal looked around, “can you guys give us a couple of minutes?”

“Yes, for sure,” Koda grabbed Nyx and pulled her out of the room.

Once everyone left, Royal lifted Famke up and sat her on the counter and stared at her. He noted the slight flush on her cheeks, the shininess of her eyes and the trembling of her lower lip.

“I love you,” he said earnestly his thumb brushing her cheek.

“I love you too,” she whispered back not looking into his eyes. “I feel horrible I’m causing all this drama in your family.”

“You have not caused any drama and I don’t want to hear you take the blame on my mother’s behavior again. She, like Prince, is an adult capable of making her own decisions and choices. She can fuck off.” He cupped her cheek, “now, tell me why you’re looking so sad.”

“I don’t want you to think I carried Prince’s baby because I was in love with him, but I don’t want yours.”

“From the night you told me you were a surrogate for them, I have not once considered you loved him. You told me you didn’t, and I believe you.”

“Okay.”

“You’re sad about the negative result.”

“I didn’t think I ever wanted to have another kid. Gosh, the one we have is a lot of work already. We’ve only been together a couple of months. The risk to my health is scary as fuck.”

He nodded seriously, knowing he was as frightened of her dying giving birth as she was. He couldn’t imagine a world without her in it. “I never want to lose you, Famke. If carrying a baby will hurt you, I am scared.”

“But you’re right,” she gave a sad smile. “Seeing the negative tests hurt a bit and I don’t know why. It’s not been anything I’ve wanted but the possibility of it, I guess, must have triggered something in me.”

“You’re an incredible mother to Precious, Famke. You were meant to be nurturing a child. It’s why Bram is the incredible man he is. It’s why I know Precious will grow up to be amazing. If and when we’re ready to have children, you’re going to be amazing at it but there is no pressure from me.” He gripped her waist, “I agree we should wait a bit until Precious is more settled and until we have more information on how it will affect you physically, but I’d be lying to say I didn’t want to have children with you. I don’t even care if you carry them or not. We can adopt a bunch of them or get a surrogate of our own using your egg and my sperm, but the thought of raising more kids with you is a fantasy, Famke.” He couldn’t tear his eyes away from her. “Baby girl, why are you crying?”

“I don’t even know.” She sniffed.

“You’re probably going to start your period now that we wasted two tests. Hormones,” he waved in front of her belly.

She gave a nervous giggle, “probably.”

“Are we good?”

“We’re good.” She nodded and leaned closer to kiss him. “I love you.”

“I love you.” He grinned, “I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of hearing you tell me you love me.”

“I’ll never get tired of saying it.”

“Let’s finish getting the furniture in and we can kick our friends out, spend some time with Precious and then you and I can have some adult time upstairs.”

The sound of tiny feet running through the house made them both look behind them.

“Mommy!” Precious screamed with excitement. “We’re in our new house and you’re living with us today.” Her eyes were still sleepy.

“I sure am.”

Royal lifted her up and set her on the counter beside Famke and grinned, “well, my gorgeous girls. We have lots of work to do. Should we get our house all set up to live in?”

“Yes!” Precious squealed excitedly.

Famke smiled at her and touched her cheek softly, “Royal is going to get some pizza for us. Would you like pizza?”

“I want pepperoni.” She looked around suddenly, “where’s Grandma and Grandpa?”

“They needed to go back to New York.” Royal shifted, rolling his shoulders. “We’re probably not going to see them for a little bit.”

“Because Grandma is mean to Mommy?”

“What?” Famke frowned.

“She’s mean to you, Mommy. I heard her when she was here the last time. You were making my bed, and I was playing in my bath.”

“What did she say?” Royal shot Famke an annoyed glance for not telling him.

“Grandma said Mommy needed to stop pretending she was my real mom and making me call her Mommy. I told Grandma I like calling her Mommy because I grew in her belly. My new friend in school, Amala says her mommy tells her she’s the only one who ever heard her mommy’s heartbeat from the inside. She has two mommies too, but one of hers isn’t dead.” She grinned at Famke and pointed to Famke’s chest. “I’m the only one who heard your heart from in there, right? It makes us special.”

“It sure does, sweet girl,” Famke pressed a kiss to her forehead. “I’m happy with you calling me whatever you want to call me.”

Precious shrugged, “you’re my mommy and Uncle Royal is like my daddy but like an adopted daddy, like Amala’s other mommy. Her other mommy adopted her. Are you going to adopt me Uncle Royal?” She stared at him, “I asked Grandma, but she got really mad and said my daddy is the only daddy I ever get but I want you to be my daddy too.”

Famke felt her heart splinter at the question and the stunned disbelief on Royal’s face. How much trouble could one woman cause.