Alexia
Looking out of the window I could see the tents in front of the castle, the commotion in the courtyard, completely lost and immersed in my thoughts about what Soraya had told me, I didn't know what to think, I found myself looking in front of the mirror, analyzing my hips.
There was no protruding belly, but my hips had changed. I knew it and I was attributing it to my weight gain, because before I arrived at Olimper's castle I was just skin and bones and now I had light curves that I loved.
Two months and sometimes I felt the pressure to have children, to give children to Estevan was not always talked about or commented on, it was always there, the words in the shadows disguised as criticism in certain conversations that had nothing to do with children, they made it clear that I needed one and that this was what was going to secure me, just like when King Acacio took me to his hunting room to find out if I was pregnant or not, only allowing my poisoning after knowing that I was not.
But a child now in the midst of war and I felt lost at the thought, after all, despite having grown up knowing that a woman was only useful for looking after the home and having children, I found myself having a lot of questions.
The idea of having someone inside my womb made me happy, it gave me a unique feeling of being fulfilled, of not being alone, but at the same time I was terrified because before coming to Olimper I had never imagined having a child.
My legacy as a servant was going to end with me, I'd say that to anyone and I'd be called crazy. But only the servants understood what I meant, because I didn't want to get married and I didn't want to have children, so I always saw everything as something bad.
Deconstructing a thought I'd had all my life, I was happy, but it was terrifying.
I wasn't an ordinary woman, I wasn't even an ordinary princess who had risen from the lowest rank to be among the highest, every step I took was thought out, this one had taken me by surprise.
"If you're really there, know that I'm terrified, but there'll be no one above you for me!" I said in front of the mirror as I smoothed my belly "It will be me, you and your father"
Whether or not there was someone growing inside me, whether I was really expecting a child, only time could tell, I would pay more attention to the signs in the meantime I needed to focus on the war.
Crossing the courtyard and leaving Olimper's castle behind, I flew over the city, across Zaim and when I saw something that made my heart tremble.
On my way back to the castle, I left Silver in the field and went through the tents in the courtyard looking for Estevan or Acacio. I caught up with Acacio inside a tent with the other nobles, as well as Councillor Marcelo.
My eyes focused on him.
"I'd like to speak to the king alone" My words came out firmly without hiding my dissatisfaction with the circle, I saw everyone leave and when we were alone I stopped in the middle of them saying "Half of these men look at Estevan as if they want his place, we know that a third of the circle that was present can't be trusted, why do you still insist on sharing important information with these men?"
"Do you think I don't know that?" Acácio asked. "I'm not sharing anything important, I just need the support of these nobles for the war."
"I'll tell you what to do with these nobles" I said, losing all posture.
"I'm going to increase your etiquette lessons, you need them badly!" Acacio said, looking at me seriously.
"What I need isn't etiquette, it's to be heard. Haven't I told you about that councilor Marcelo?"
"Yes, and we have no proof," said Acácio. "Isn't it enough that you put on a show in the great hall, where you were almost beaten to death, that you want all the nobles to leave the castle? We need their support more than ever, or do you think these weapons are supplied for nothing?"
"I will prove that this man wants Estevan dead until the end of this war," I said firmly. "Until then, spare me the lectures on diplomacy, Acácio. Wars aren't won cleanly"
Acacio looked at me surprised by my words, going against any reaction I thought I would get from Acacio he smiled and shook his head.
"Good words, you've learned something"
"Don't laugh Acacio, there's a whole room inside this castle full of glass with poisonous plants and toxic liquids to poison Estevan, just like the poison that was used the day he almost died"
"You think I don't know that? We're investigating, this room has been sealed off and the experts are collecting evidence that has only been ready for a month."
I looked at him in surprise and nodded more calmly.
"Do you think I don't know what I'm doing in this castle?" He looked at me with serious eyes. "You're growing your wings too big Alexia, you're only at the meetings because of the dragon, otherwise you'd be knitting and gossiping in the women's room!"
"Maybe it's time things changed," I said with a firm voice, women should have a voice too.
"And you think it's going to be a woman who does this? You're emotional, do you think things will go that far?" He said, making my blood boil.
I hated his words as if he was putting me down for being a woman.
"To govern a country you need to be cold-blooded, you wouldn't understand that. Could you govern like a man?"
"Not as a man, as a woman" I teased him "I don't want power, nor would I like to sit at the same table as you Acacio, but if I have to do this because these are dark times, I just want you not to disregard me for being a woman!"
Acácio remained quiet and seeing that he wouldn't continue, I said:
"I'm not going to sit and knit while you close your eyes, I don't even know why this conversation has gone so far, but if it's really these nobles who support the crown then you have no real power, you should review your reign because you've sold out a long time ago, you're not a real ruler, but a puppet. Has it worked out so far Acácio?" My mind seemed to explode with thousands of thoughts, as if seeing George's dragon in Zaim had awakened in me the will to fight and the fear that Olimper would be devastated, I understood the weight of this war "I saw Estevan have enough power to make anyone bend to Olimper, the people adore him while you don't even show your face outside the castle, I haven't seen your name remembered, you sit there impartial with the idea that flowers won wars, you killed the kings of Torrem and now George's dragon is in Zaim. Flatter the nobles, but remind them that you have the power Acácio, I'm tired of seeing you biased, trying to hide the dust under the carpet almost all your children have perished, Estevan is the only one you have left so I didn't let him down by putting the enemy on the table!"
My firm words seemed to have an impact, I'd rather see Marcelo than Estevan and I hoped Acacio would get the message.
"Estevan would, in the end he always does"
Tired of that discussion, I turned away.
"Wait a minute, did you say that George's dragon is in Zaim?"
I turned to him with a serious look on my face and my mind racing.
"Yes, that's why I came here. I think our problems are bigger than we thought."