Chapter 23 What she is feeling
Aloria
I pace back and forth near the main pack house, my heart pounding with anxious energy. The sunlight filters through the trees, casting dappled shadows on the ground, but the beauty of the day does little to ease the turmoil surging within me. I can’t shake this nervous feeling, a fluttering in my chest that grows heavier with each passing moment. River is out there, facing danger, and I’m here… feeling trapped.
“Aloria, it’s going to be okay,” Kellan says, his deep voice cutting through my thoughts as he crouches down beside me. His presence is calming, sturdy like the oak trees surrounding us. “River knows what he’s doing. He’ll handle the werebears, and he’ll be back before you know it.”
I want to believe him. I really do. But the unease gnaws at me, a persistent whisper that something is very wrong. I glance over at the younger pack members playing tag, their laughter ringing through the air like a sweet melody. I try to immerse myself in their joy, to forget the worry creeping into my mind, but the knot in my stomach remains.
“Hey, want to join us?” a little boy named Finn calls out, his cheeks flushed with excitement. He’s always so full of energy, with a mischievous glint in his eyes that makes it hard to resist.
I force a smile, stepping toward the group. “Sure!” I say, trying to channel my anxiety into something more productive. We race around the clearing, and for a while, I can pretend everything is normal. I laugh and cheer as they chase one another, my heart momentarily lightening.
But as the hours stretch on, the fun fades, replaced by an unshakeable dread. I can’t ignore it any longer; there’s a gnawing sensation inside me, something that feels like a warning. I glance toward the tree line, half-expecting to see River’s tall figure emerging from the shadows, but the woods remain silent.
Just as I begin to lose hope, a figure appears through the trees… a pack member rushing toward us. Kellan’s demeanor shifts immediately, his smile disappearing as the newcomer leans in to whisper something in his ear. I see Kellan’s face go pale, and the chill of fear washes over me like cold water.
“What is it?” I ask, my voice trembling. My heart races, a wild drumbeat in my chest, and the laughter of the children fades into an eerie silence.
Kellan glances at me, his expression a mix of concern and determination. “It’s nothing, Aloria. Just a little situation,” he tries to brush it off, but I see the truth in his eyes. “Stay here with the kids.”
“No! I won’t stay here. What’s going on?” I demand, my voice rising with urgency. The air feels thick with tension, and I can’t shake the feeling that something terrible has happened.
Kellan takes a deep breath, his jaw tightening. “River… he’s missing. A werebear threw him off the ledge into the ravine. They couldn’t find him.”
The words hit me like a punch to the gut. “What? No! He can’t be gone!” My voice cracks, and I feel a wave of panic swell within me. “He has to be okay! Kellan, we need to find him!”
Kellan’s expression softens, but his resolve is unwavering. “I’m leading a search party. We’ll find him, Aloria, I promise.”
I shake my head, feeling as though the ground beneath me is crumbling. “I can’t feel him. I can’t feel him!” The realization hits me like a lightning bolt. The strange feeling I’ve been trying to identify, the gnawing anxiety… it’s because our bond has vanished, severed in this moment of crisis. My wolf, still dormant within me, has yet to awaken fully, and now, without River’s presence, I feel utterly lost.
“Aloria, listen to me,” Kellan says, his tone firm yet gentle. “We’ll do everything we can to find him. But you need to stay strong. You can’t afford to panic now.”
“It’s easy for you to say. You’re not the one who can’t feel the connection!” I feel my voice rising again, fueled by fear and frustration. “What if something happened to him? What if he…” I can’t bring myself to say the word.
Kellan steps closer, grounding me with his steady gaze. “We’ll find him. Right now, I need you to stay here and trust that we’ll bring him back. Your strength is needed here, Aloria.”
I take a deep breath, trying to calm the storm inside me, but it’s like trying to contain a wildfire. “But what if... what if he’s hurt? What if he needs me?”
He hesitates, his eyes searching mine. “If he needs you, then you must be ready to fight for him. But you can’t do that if you’re not safe, Aloria. We need to be smart.”
The words hang in the air, heavy with the weight of truth. I nod, though my heart is still racing. “Okay, but I’m coming with you. I can’t just sit here while he’s out there somewhere, alone.”
“Aloria…”
“No. I’m not going to be left behind again.” My voice is fierce, and I can feel the fire igniting within me, even if my wolf remains dormant. “I have to be there for him. I can’t lose him without trying.”
Kellan studies me for a moment, then nods, his expression shifting to one of reluctant acceptance. “Fine. But you stay close to me, understood? We don’t know what we’re up against.”
“Understood,” I reply, my pulse racing with renewed determination. I won’t let fear paralyze me any longer. I will find River. I will fight for him, for us, and I will reclaim the bond that feels so painfully absent right now.
As we gather the search party, I can feel that strange sensation again, an echo of a connection that was once strong. I don’t know where River is, but I won’t let this be the end. The thought of all he’s done for me, all he’s fought through, fuels my determination. I will find him.