Chapter Twenty-Two - MARKUS

“That was in the past,” Markus insisted. “I can date now.”

Gracie frowned. “Does your dad know this? Or does he think it’s still a rule in your house?”

He wished she wouldn’t have asked that, because he hesitated too long and the answer was painfully obvious.

“Mark, I’m not going to sneak around behind your dad’s back,” she said, her face scrunching up in frustration. She ran a hand through her curls as she sat on her bed. “This week has been so back and forth between us, but I thought we had finally found a good place.”

“And we have,” Markus said, taking her hand as he sat next to her. “I’m going to tell him when I get home. Promise.”

Gracie released a puff of air and shook her head, like she didn’t believe him.

“To prove it, I’m going to take you on a date. A real one. Tonight,” he said.

She looked up, surprised. “Really?”

“Anywhere you want.”

Gracie still seemed a little skeptical, but she nodded. “All right. How about if we keep it simple for this first date and go to a movie?”

“Sounds good to me. I’ll plan on picking you up at six-thirty.”

The skepticism melted from Gracie’s features, and she brightened. “Six-thirty. I can’t wait.”

* * * * *

Markus sat in the car far longer than he had intended, but he hadn’t expected to be this nervous. He was almost eighteen. He could do this.

When he finally entered the house, it was to find his dad sitting at the kitchen table, hovered over a large book about who knew what. His dad was always studying something new.

“Hey, Dad,” Markus said, his voice coming out squeaky.

“I was starting to wonder if you lived here anymore,” his dad said, looking up. His face was drawn, and creases in his forehead made him seem older than he was.

Markus gave a weak laugh, like his dad had intended for it to be a joke. “Sorry, we got in late last night.”

His dad closed the book in front of him, then turned to face Markus. “That doesn’t explain where you were today.”

The room was heating up and Markus pulled on his collar. He wasn’t sure where this conversation was going, but he suddenly wasn’t ready to tell his dad about Gracie. “There was some stuff I had to do.”

“Homes for Humanity hasn’t started their next project, have they?”

That was an odd question. “No, not until next month.”

His dad leaned back in his chair and folded his arms. “Then why do you have paint on your new shirt?”

Oh, crap. Markus had forgotten about that. Gracie was right, they couldn’t sneak around behind his dad’s back. It wouldn’t end well.

It was time for the truth.

“I was painting.”

His dad gave him a well, duh look. “May I ask why?”

Markus steeled himself before he said, “A girl from school offered to give me an art lesson.”

His dad’s eyes immediately narrowed. “Right. Tell me what’s really going on.”

“That’s what I was doing,” Markus insisted, offended that his dad didn’t think a girl would want to spend time with him. “Her name is Gracie, and she thought it would be something I’d enjoy.”

“How long have you known this girl?” his dad asked, obviously not yet satisfied with Markus’s answer.

“A few months.”

“And let me guess, she was on this school trip of yours.”

Markus nodded. He had expected his dad to question him about Gracie, but Markus wished his dad would skip to the hard questions and get the interrogation over with.

“Have a seat,” his dad said, nodding to the chair next to him. He rubbed his eyes, like he was tired.

“I was actually going to change—”

“Sit,” his dad said again.

Markus slid into one of the chairs at the table, but not the one his dad had indicated. There was something about the situation that made Markus feel he should keep some space between them.

His dad released a long breath before asking in a quiet voice, “Is she the reason you didn’t send in any of your applications?”

Markus’s breathing stalled. His dad knew.

He dropped his gaze to the table. “No, I didn’t even know her then. Applications for early admittance were due last fall.” He paused. “How did you know?”

Silence enveloped them, but Markus didn’t dare look up.

“You already know I called admissions offices while you were gone,” his dad finally said. “At first I thought it was a mistake when Harvard said they hadn’t received your application. You led me to believe it had been a computer glitch. But after the third one…” His voice trailed off. It was another moment before he continued. “I have a friend at MIT. It took some finagling, but they said they’d at least consider your application for regular admittance if you have it to them by—”

“No,” Markus interrupted, finding his voice. “I’m not going.”

His dad stared. “I’m sorry?”

“I didn’t apply because I don’t want to go.”

“If this is because of that girl—” his dad said, showing the first sign of anger.

“It has nothing to do with Gracie,” Markus said, pushing away from the table. “You always thought girls would distract me—ruin my life. But with or without a girlfriend, the fact is I want to do something meaningful—something that makes a difference in the world—and it doesn’t include going to an Ivy League school. Or being a professor. Or having a PhD.” He paused. “It includes me making my own choices for once.”

Markus breathed hard, expecting his dad to yell back.

But he didn’t. Instead, his dad seemed to deflate. “To make a difference. That’s all your mother and I ever wanted too. But once you came along—I assumed you’d be the way we did that. You’d be the difference in the world.”

Markus stilled. After a moment, he slid back into his chair. “What do you mean?” His dad never talked about Markus’s mom, and he didn’t want to lose this rare moment.

His dad stared out the kitchen window into the backyard. “When your mother and I married, we joined the Peace Corps. We both had degrees in engineering and knew we could do a lot of good. It didn’t pay well, and the living conditions weren’t great, but we were happy.” He paused. “A year later, we found out we were going to be having a little boy.”

The way his dad said it, a small smile playing on his lips, he sounded wistful, like he was lost in the memory.

“And then what?” Markus prompted.

His dad shrugged. “And then we came home. They didn’t have adequate medical care to take care of your mother while she was pregnant, and we weren’t taking any chances.”

“You never went back?”

“That was where your mother and I differed in opinion,” his dad said, tapping a finger on the edge of the table. The wistful smile was gone. “She wanted to go back. Staying cooped up in the house with a baby—it wasn’t the type of life she had envisioned for herself.”

“So she just left us?” Markus asked. It came out more like a whisper. He couldn’t believe his mom would have done that. She loved him. He knew she did. She called him every year on his birthday and Christmas. She sent him gifts from whatever country she happened to be in.

“No,” his dad said, his voice once again firm. “Not at first. She knew we couldn’t return to the Peace Corps, but there were other organizations that would allow children to come on their humanitarian missions.” He paused. “I felt it was too dangerous. We’d be building and designing water systems and schools and whatever else the community needed, but even in the U.S., they were in remote locations. What if something happened and we couldn’t get to a hospital in time?”

Why was his dad finally telling him all this? For Marcus’s entire life, his dad had refused to even mention his mother, and now it seemed he couldn’t stop.

His dad’s gaze moved from the window, and his eyes refocused on Markus. “She left, feeling that her place was out there, helping others.”

“And you stayed,” Markus finished.

His dad hesitated for a moment before nodding. “Yes. I stayed.”

Markus felt numb. Why hadn’t he known all this? Would it have changed how he felt about things—reshaped his world view?

“I know I’ve pushed you,” his dad said, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “But I see so much of your mother in you. You have the same selflessness that first attracted me to her. I thought—if you only saw the possibilities that lay with a good degree and a stable position, you wouldn’t feel the need to abandon everything in search of the greater good. I hoped you’d find the greater good closer to home.”

It all made sense now. Markus didn’t agree with his dad’s tactics, but realized now it had all been driven out of love.

Markus did something then he hadn’t done since he was a child. He stood, walked around the table, and gave his dad a hug. “Thank you,” he said.

His dad didn’t even try to keep his composure. He broke down, sobbing, in Markus’s arms, and it wasn’t until his son pulled away that he managed to get ahold of himself. “I only wanted what I thought was best for you.”

“I know that now,” Markus said. He stepped away. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about the college applications.”

His dad gave him a sad smile. “Me too.” With a shaky breath, he stood. “It’s your decision what you do from here. It always has been.” He must have sensed Markus’s dismay, because he held up his hands in a defensive gesture. “It may not have seemed like it, but I have always intended to respect where your road leads. I just hope you’ll come visit your old man once in a while.”

“Of course.” And with that, for the first time in years, Markus felt hope.

His dad shut the book that still lay open on the table, and his lips quirked up. “So…tell me about this girl.”