Chapter 25 Quiet after the storm
NANCY'S POV
My steps led me quickly out of the school.
I flagged down a taxi the moment I got to the main gates and gave him the address. Mr. Landon's home wasn't exactly where I wanted to be, not after he'd ordered me out of his office like that, but I had no choice.
For Diana, I had to go back there even though I terribly wanted to avoid being in the same space as him, at least for a while.
My mind was a mess, and tears burned my eyes, but I refused to let them fall.
I wasn't going to cry just because I got rejected.
But it wasn't just rejection, it was humiliation too, a feeling I hadn't felt until he told me what we had was a mistake.
Telling me he didn't have feelings for me wasn't even a problem. I knew we could never be together, despite how much I wanted him and how attractive I found him, but having him say it was a mere mistake broke me in a way I didn't imagine possible.
I was as quiet as a mouse until I got to my destination, although the voices in my head were loud.
The taxi dropped me off right in front of the house, and every step I took towards it felt strange, like I was walking into a butcher's house.
At the entrance, I grabbed tightly onto my bag and prepared myself, plastering a tight smile onto my face.
The one thought that ran through my mind then was that I couldn't let Diana notice anything.
I had no answer for if she asked if something was wrong with me, and I desperately hoped she wouldn't notice.
How was I supposed to tell her I was mad because her dad had nearly had sex with me, then called what we had a mistake after?
How in the world was I supposed to tell her that I likely had feelings for her Dad and that I was hurt because he had rejected me before I ever got a chance to confess to him?
I could never do that. It would shatter Diana and shatter our friendship, and I couldn't ever bear to lose Diana.
She was the only ray of light in my bleak world, and I wanted to hold on tightly to that brightness.
I sucked in a deep breath, schooled my expression to make myself seem happier, then grabbed the door handle to open it.
It was locked.
I couldn't tell what I felt at first, relief that she wasn't home, or anxiety that I would have to face her later, or fatigue at the thought that I would have to wait for her.
Sighing, I pulled my bag off my shoulder, then grabbed it with one hand instead and reached towards it with the other to grab my phone.
Mid doing that, I suddenly recollected what she'd told me one day.
"If we ever have reason to leave school separately and you get home and don't meet anyone, you can look for the key yourself."
"Dad and I always keep it behind that potted plant by the door."
Her voice rang in my head as I walked up to the said potted plant and bent low to check behind it.
As described, I found the key, then returned to the door and opened it.
The house was really quiet, and when I walked in, I let out a breath I hadn't realised I was holding.
Relief took over every other emotion I felt, and I walked to the sofa, dropped my bag next to it, then sank into the seat.
Another sigh rolled off my lips.
"Thank God..." I muttered, running a hand through my hair.
I sat in silence for a long while after that, staring blankly into space while the event from earlier replayed in my head.
A tear rolled down my cheek before I could stop it, then another, and for the first time since I left New Jersey, since I left my home, I allowed myself to cry.
My tears fell like beads off a broken string, and I whimpered quietly, hugging my knees to myself.
As much as my eyes would let me, I let those tears drop until I felt a little bit better. Afterwards, I stood up and headed for the kitchen sink, where I splattered water over my face.
I returned to the living room, then grabbed my phone to call Diana, but right at that same moment, her call came in.
Pausing briefly, I slid my hands over the screen and picked up.
"Diana," I said, putting more energy into my tone and keeping a sniffle at bay.
"Nancy, are you home? You sound like you are."
I nodded, then realized she couldn't see me, "Yes, I am, I got back just a few minutes ago."
That was a lie, and I didn't know why I had to add that when I had been home for much longer than I claimed to be.
Diana, however, didn't seem to notice, thankfully.
"Where are you?" I asked.
I didn't need to imbue curiosity into my voice this time; I was actually curious to know where she was.
"Right, I didn't tell you..I'm sorry, I should have texted you, but it slipped my mind."
"I went out to get groceries, Dad didn't restock anything, and the fridge is kind of empty."
Her mention of Mr. Landon made the memory I was trying so hard to erase resurface again, and tears stung my eyes once more.
I blinked them back quickly. "Oh yeah, I didn't know that. Will you be home soon?"
"Of course, I'm almost done here. I should be home in about thirty minutes."
"Okay," I replied, clearing my throat to loosen the lump that was wedged somewhere in it.
"Are you okay?" Diana asked suddenly.
I paused in surprise for a minute, then quickly answered, "Of course I'm fine, why do you ask?"
"Nothing, it's just...you sound weird."
That had me pausing again.
For a couple of seconds, I felt seen, and it made me wish I could tell her what was going on with me.
I shoved that thought out the window before my body reacted faster than my brain and made me blurt it out, mumbling instead, "I'm fine."
Diana didn't speak for a while, but then she asked, "Nancy, did something happen in detention?"
Every nerve in my body froze.