Chapter 23 Aftermath
JAXON’S POV
I shouldn't have let myself lose control.
That thought reverberated in my head as I stood in front of my desk, staring down at Nancy's half-naked figure.
My fingers were braced against the desk on either side of her, and despite how hard I was breathing and the sweat that dripped down my chin, my body was cold.
Inwardly, I felt as if I had been drenched with a bucket of ice water, too, and every ounce of pleasure that had clouded my thoughts earlier was gone.
It disappeared in the blink of an eye; the instant Nancy's juices had flooded my hands.
Not even a slap could have helped me regain so much clarity, and just as fast, I was swarmed with regret.
It wasn't just regret that hit me, I was struck with an intense feeling of disgust towards myself for doing something so...forbidden.
As though electrocuted, I backed away from the desk fast, putting space between us as if that could fix anything or as though it could mend the barrier I had broken.
I watched Nancy's eyes that were previously clouded and hazy slowly regain focus. She blinked a number of times, then slowly pulled herself to a sitting position atop my desk, pulling unsuccessfully at her dress to cover her bare chest.
It took a couple of minutes of wrestling with the fabric before she finally covered herself up.
After doing that, her gaze lifted to me, "Mr. Landon..."
Her voice was hoarse, and I wished I could blame the sultriness of her tone, but that would be utterly irresponsible.
I was responsible for my actions. I wasn't under hypnosis. Everything I did...I did it knowing that I would regret it.
Nancy's gaze clouded again, but this time with confusion.
"Mr. Landon, I..." Her voice trailed off.
It was obvious she was uncertain about what to do and was probably debating whether speaking about what had just gone down between us was a good idea.
I made the decision for her, taking a step forward only to take a step backwards when I realized doing that would close the distance between us.
"This shouldn't happen again," I said, running a palm down my face, the one that wasn't still slick with her juices.
"What?" She responded with uncertainty.
"I said..." I pulled my hand off my face, then imbued more firmness into my tone, "This shouldn't happen again. It shouldn't even have happened."
Nancy froze for about a couple of minutes, and then a wry smile graced her lips, "It already did."
"And that's why I'm saying it shouldn't happen again."
I palmed my face once more then inhaled sharply, "For God's sake, Nancy, you are my student, and my daughter's..."
I couldn't bring myself to finish that sentence. My face paled.
If the shameful aftermath of what I'd just done didn't make it clear enough, nearly saying it aloud spoke volumes about how incredibly disgusting and foolish I was.
For a moment, I felt like a predator who'd preyed on something they shouldn't have.
And that held some truth. I'd done something absolutely unforgivable.
Like a heavyweight had been placed on it, my shoulders sank with distress.
"You think I don't know that?" Nancy shot back in response to my earlier statement.
She slid off my desk, then hurriedly rearranged her rumpled clothes, running one hand through her hair to temper the mess it had become, while she thrashed around on my desk, and I fingered her.
I'd had my hands up her pussy, me, Jaxon Landon...I had fucked my daughter's best friend with my fingers.
Recollecting what I had done did even more harm because I suddenly couldn't bring myself to keep staring into her eyes.
So, I shut mine.
When I opened them again, it was to see her standing right in front of me.
She scoffed when I took a step backwards, then took two quick steps forward, bridging the gap I had just created.
"Five minutes ago," She began slowly. "You weren't acting like my teacher, nor were you acting like my best friend's father."
"You acted like a man who wanted me, and now you want to just switch this off, flip a switch to erase it as if it never happened?"
"Nancy..." My voice betrayed me.
"Don't Nancy me!" She snapped. "You wanted this just as much as I did, so don't play the morality card with me."
My jaw clenched at the obvious jab. "You think I wanted that to happen?"
She stared straight at me. "I think you accepted it."
That hit hard, because she was right. I didn't just stand there and watch it happen; I had been an active participant in it.
Heck, it was me who lifted her to my desk. She didn't coerce me to touch her before I did, and she sure as hell hadn't asked me to finger-fuck her.
I'd done it all of my own free will.
I dragged in a slow, deep breath, letting myself regain control of my thoughts, emotions, and feelings.
True, I hadn't controlled what had happened, but I could control what hadn't.
Steeling myself, I muttered in the coldest tone I could muster, "This ends here."
She blinked.
"What?"
I clenched my teeth hard, keeping my gaze on her, "I said this ends here."
"It was a mistake, and it won't happen again."
She didn't respond immediately; she stared at me as if I had grown two heads, and then she laughed.
It was a long chuckle that had her gasping for breath.
Crazily, I couldn't help but think of how she'd gasped in this same manner when I rubbed her clit.
I caught myself quickly and hurled out all the curse words I could think of at myself in my head.
"A mistake?" Nancy repeated with disbelief, letting out another chuckle.
"Yes," I responded, clenching my jaw harder.
She ran her gaze over my face, then her lips tugged back in a way that I couldn't even consider a smile.
"That's what you're choosing to call it?"