Chapter 141 - Introversion

Chapter 141 - Introversion

I watch as Theo’s ship slowly reaches the horizon. I can still feel the warmth of his embrace, and his words still echo in my heart.

‘No one can take your place, Kaiya.’

I let out a rush of air as I hold back my tears. He’s only been away for a while and I am missing him already.

And so I watch as the ship eventually disappears from my sight. At the same time, Inanna reaches for my hand.

“I heard that you will be doing a ritual today. Just inform me if you need help,” she says and leaves me and Seth alone on the balcony.

I turn to the ocean and take a deep breath. Despite the distance, I can still feel him inside my heart.

“Kaiya,” Seth calls from behind me. I turn to him and smile. “Are you ready for the ritual?”

“Yes,” I nod. “Let’s start.”

We both take out our supplies and prepare for the ritual. We walk to the King’s private garden—a quiet clearing where no one can disturb us. We start by setting up candles, incense, and some crystals that Inanna provided earlier.

When all is set, I take my position at the center of our setup while Seth is looking at me from the outside. I take a deep breath and close my eyes, focusing inside my head, and mimicking the first time I wandered into another’s mind—the first time I learned about Inanna and what the Blood god had done to her.

I feel the energy gathering around me and when I open my eyes again; I am in a different place. No caves this time. It’s just a dark sky with a gentle breeze caressing my skin. My heart feels warm and heavy at the same time.

As I delve deeper into my consciousness, I look for any dark entity that we’ve found with other humans before. We have a hunch that it is something important.

And then, I start to feel as if my body is floating, weightless but vibrating with energy. I feel completely in my element here. And suddenly, my consciousness spreads far and wide. I’ve become aware of everything—the soft sound of wind whistling, the wide expanse of my own consciousness, and the smell of something foreign.

I sense my consciousness spread further and further, and soon I am in a vast, endless void. Nothing is here, except for some distant voices. I focus on it and gradually; it becomes louder.

Soon, I realize they are a part of me, my own memories and thoughts from my forgotten past. I listen intently and memories begin to play out like a movie.

As my own memories unfold in front of me, I feel each one of them—of my mates and experiences, of my conversations with the Moon Goddess. However, this time, her voice is soft and friendly, as if we are life partners.

Nervously, I stretch my mind and I go deeper and deeper, my memories falling over me like an avalanche. The enormous information starts to overwhelm but suddenly, as I am losing control, the information falls into a plateau. It balanced out and I can breathe again.

“Kaiya,” comes the voice.

“Agia!”

I turn to the sound of my own voice and see myself on the couch. I am smiling as if the voice belongs to a dear friend.

“I told you, call me Moon Goddess. Stop giving names to your god.”

I watch myself grin and close my eyes–looking excited to converse with the unseen goddess.

“I’ve thought about what you suggested,” comes the Moon Goddess's voice again."I don’t think it’s a good idea. Gods and goddesses are never meant to walk your lands."

“Even just for a while?”

“Awhile means I will shake the very foundations of your existence and reality.”

“Even if you use my body for a while?”

“I am a very new god as well. I don’t have control over my powers yet. Moreover, I am afraid of the repercussions, Kaiya.”

“But you don’t need a Vessel anymore. Werewolves already prowled our lands. You said it yourself. It is already enough to keep things balanced.”

“I told you. I made you an apostle, not a Vessel. There’s a difference,” she says, sounding exasperated.

“But Agia, it’s been five centuries. I am tired of living. I just need you to use my body for a while. I’d like to take a rest.”

“I know,” the Moon Goddess says, exhaling. “I should have not answered the calls of the humans. I should have ignored it.”

“You don’t have to blame yourself! It’s the human’s fault! Not yours!”

“But because of that, I gave you the curse of immortality.”

“Which is why all I am asking is a year of rest as your apostle.”

“It will be hard.”

“Please, Agia. I am at my wit’s end. Everyone I love has already died, and it’s very hard to love someone again when I know of the pain that will come from loving someone and not getting old like them. This cycle of birth and death, I can’t take it anymore.”

“For that, I have a proposition. I will give you a mate, Kaiya. Every lifetime. And if your mate dies, you will find another again in a short time. You won’t find yourself in grief for long because a new one will come along and you will have no choice but to fall for them.”

“That means I will still be in grief.”

“Only for a while. Then you will be happy again.”

“But—“

“And as a gift, I will make Kings fall in love with you. You will not want something that’s out of reach. You will have everything you wish for. That way, you can be my apostle with less suffering than humans suffer from.”

And then the memories change again. There are no bright living rooms anymore. Instead, it is in a luxurious room. I am holding a young king in my arms, dead, and has started to rot.

“You give me a mate, Agia! And you were right, every day is bliss with him! I was very happy! But this separation is a hundredfold more painful than before! Please, I am begging you. Not one year, but just give me one month to rest. I need... I need to breathe, Agia! Please! I know you can hear me! You have always heard me! Please, I am begging you!”

The wind whistles in between my grief. I look around. No, not whistling, the wind is howling. I feel a presence in the room and turn to see Agia standing before me. Her eyes are full of pity as she looks down at me.

“My dear apostle, I have heard your plea for rest.”

Agia steps forward and places a hand on my shoulder, and my tear-streaked face looks up at her.

“I will try to be in your body for a month. Nothing more, nothing less. And then I will leave your body, whether or not you like it.”

Suddenly, a wave of warmth rushes through my body. It feels like all the pain and suffering of my long life is being lifted away. I can feel what my past self is feeling–a warm cocoon that comforts me.

Then, the scenery changes again. Myself–with the Moon Goddess inside–and a young man who looks like General Brandon. I take a look closer and true enough, the young man is a member of the Stine family based on the crest on his coat.

“It might be very forward of me, but Kaiya, will you consider me as your lover?”

“And I keep on telling you. I am Agia, not Kaiya! Kaiya is sleeping within me.”

“So, I can call you Agia now?” Agia groans and the young man grins. “Just so we are clear, it’s Agia that I’ve fallen in love with.”

“Stop with this nonsense already, human! You are way below me to pronounce your love!”

“That might be true, but I sense I am going to lose you soon. I don’t want any regrets, so I am telling you now.”

Suddenly, darkness envelops my body. The young man that looks like General Brandon looks surprised. “Agia?!”

“Damn it! Holding myself in a human’s body is very hard,” she breathes.

“How can I help?”

“Ice magic,” she says. “Give me ice magic and I will try to warm it up with fire magic.”

“Here,” he says, and pure ice magic appears.

The Moon Goddess moves closer and takes hold of his hand, then she whispers, “Thankfully, a strange human like you exists in this world.”

“Does that mean that you like me, too?”

“As my slave, human. Only my slave.”

The memories vanish, and I find myself standing in the middle of a snowy field. The bitter cold stings my skin, but I feel no discomfort. It’s as if the frigid air has numbed my body.

In the distance, I see a figure hugging herself. As I draw closer, I recognize myself.

“Kaiya, you need to return. One month is up.”

There is no answer.

“If you don’t return on your own, I won’t be able to return to the realm of the gods. I will wander these lands with no connection to my own realm.”

Still no response. I watch my body shivers. I feel the need to come closer, but then Agia’s voice comes again. “Kaiya, please. Don’t make this harder than it already is,” she pleads.

My body continues to tremble. I heave and a dark whiff of air comes out of my body, leaving my body in the snow. Curiously, I follow the dark whiff and find myself in the room of the same man that looks like General Brandon.

“Agia, is that you?” the young man asks.

The dark whiff enters the young man’s body and suddenly, I feel a warmth seeping into my frozen body. It spreads throughout my limbs like wildfire. However, something different is happening around the young man. The previous glow of the candles turned into its icy equivalent. All the books have turned wet, and the floor becomes coated with ice. Servants come into the room to find the young man crouching on the floor with ice surrounding him.

When the young man looks up, he sneers directly at me. “Now, you know what happened, and how your selfishness caused this, Kaiya. So now, you will pay.”

I try to back away, but my feet are rooted to the ground. Fear grips me as I watch the young man’s eyes turn a sinister shade of black. He rises to his feet and approaches me slowly, each step echoing in the eerily silent room.

“The Dark Lord cursed the Stine family. Not the Moon Goddess...” I manage to whisper.

He chuckles darkly. “What Dark Lord?! He doesn’t exist. He’s just a figment of human fear!”

“But—”

“No buts, I will come to collect, Kaiya. You can’t hide from me anymore.”