93

"It's working, right?" I worry, edging forwards on the chair as my palms sweat a little.

The doctor immediately nods, assuring me it is. The relief I feel is instant, like a breath of fresh air after being buried alive.

"I assumed otherwise, but yes. The Elders are planning to distribute this rod for wolves that wish to stay pup-free." The doctor tells me, which doesn't come as a surprise.

I smile a little. "That's good, so everything is fine?" I double check, naturally feeling like there's something wrong every time I see a doctor.

"All good, don't worry." He assures me, patting my hand slightly in some attempt to provide comfort.

Exhaling slowly, I smile in thanks and exit his clinic. Heading out to the car waiting for me, I jump in the passenger side.

"Is everything alright? Is it working?" Hardin asks, concerned that the rod is going to infect me or something.

He never liked the idea of me having this unproven technology in my arm, but I knew the risks could be fixed with time, and the last thing I want is to get pregnant again.

"Yes, we're all good." I smile, pressing my lips against his lovingly.

"Good." He murmurs, forgetting about going home as he buries his fingers into my hair and holds me in place.

The sound of my stomach growling ferociously makes Hardin pull away, grumbling under his breath as we head to the mall. As promised, food comes first. Choosing to eat in Hardin's Range, I cross my legs under me and devour the burger and chips. Instead of making a comment about how much I eat, Hardin gives me half of the huge pizza, along with a couple of napkins to wipe my greasy lips.

Gotta love him, right?

"So, when is she leaving?" I ask, realising he never told me a specific date.

"Tomorrow night." He clears his throat, sipping the bottle of fresh orange.

"Thought you needed her to help train the pack?" My tone is unintentionally mocking.

The woman has been here almost two weeks, and ever since she turned up Hardin and I have been at war with one another. Even though he uses sex to manipulate me into calming down, it's just been causing more problems. It seems that every time we disagree, it's about her, and she's always conveniently around Hardin which I hate even more.

"It was a mistake, all right? I didn't want to see you get hurt in some attack, so I kept you in the dark about everything. I shouldn't have, and I'm sorry, alright?" He sighs, hands moving around with frustration.

His honesty takes me a little by surprise, especially after weeks of avoiding the question as to why he's been treating me like a Luna.

Placing the slice of pizza down, I wipe my mouth on a napkin.

"You don't think I'm strong enough to protect myself?" I ask quietly, feeling more dejected than before.

"You know that's not true." Hardin immediately growls at me.

"Then tell me the truth, Hardin! You expect me to just sit back and let everything happen without having any say, and I'm sick of it." I tell him, my tone a little snappy as I stare at him with my 'serious' face.

"Do you regret choosing me? Are you having doubts-"

"No." Hardin instantly denies, furrowing his brows deeply.

"Then what is it? Why are you suddenly holding me back?" I press him for answers, knowing right now is the only shot I'll have. He's more stubborn around the pack.

Hardin stares out the window, jaw clenching and fists clenched on the steering wheel. I know he hears me, yet he seems angered by my words.

"Loving you was never planned, it wasn't even a option for me. But it just happened, you gave me time, and space to become myself...and it took me a while but for the first time in my life I felt like I was home, and I felt wanted." I softly say, placing my hand over his white knuckle grip on the wheel.

"What's changed?" I quiz, not understanding. He keeps me out of his head, out of his life, and uses the bond to hide his emotions beneath mine.

I feel like I don't know him anymore.

Hardin acts like he isn't listening, but I know he is, the way his face changes at my words gives him away.

"I'm scared."

I stare at him for a long moment, not realising he'd spoken at first. The fact that he's admitting something so unlike him, takes me by complete surprise. He's scared?

"You're scared?" I ask softly, my heart softening. I couldn't help but feel awful, that I hadn't picked up on it before, that I hadn't pressed it out of him weeks ago.

"The last war almost killed me, but the toll it took on you...it destroyed you, Kali." Hardin's furrowed brows shadow his eyes, the haunting tone of his voice makes me still.

"Packs are prone to war, I-WE may not survive another. I can handle the loss of pack members, and I can handle close calls, but the thought of loosing you?...It terrifies me." Hardin's voice is low, barely audible as he exhales heavily.

I visibly see the weight lift a little, and I'd be lying if I said my heart didn't break a little. Hardin isn't a man that scares easily, hell, he showed no fear when defending his pack against my parents and Dom.

I'd given him a hard time, for weeks now. To find out that his sudden attitude towards my title is because he's scared of loosing me, makes me feel like the worst person in the world.

Hardin isn't afraid of me dying, no, he knows I can defend myself just fine. His fear is because of what I became after the war, what I'm still capable of becoming if I let myself become consumed with hate and anger.

"Things are different now, Hardin. I feel a lot better, more myself than I have been in a very long time." I say softly, peeling his hand from the wheel and linking my fingers through his.

"I wanted you to feel safe, I'd hoped that if I just kept you away from the violence everything would be fine. But I fucked up, I hid things from you, and I brought Lorelei here..." Hardin bangs his head against the headrest, exhaling forcefully.

Climbing into his lap with ease, I wrap my arms around his neck and pull his head into my shoulder. I could feel the tension in his shoulders, his entire body stressed with this whole deal.

"I wasn't honest before, about how I felt and I should have been. I promise you I'm not going anywhere, okay?" I whisper, running my fingers through his soft dark hair, kind of massaging his scalp.

"From here on I will be completely upfront with you." I promise him, knowing that perhaps I do tend to bottle things up still.

Even with therapy, I don't always take the advice I'm given. I should have just told him exactly how I felt, what I wanted, and not lost my temper...multiple times.

"It's exhausting trying to fight you on everything." Hardin mutters into my shoulder, exhaling as his arms wrap around my waist, hugging me warmly.

I know he's missed this, being on the same page as each other. There's certainly a few minor issues that I have to address, but overall, this has got far better than I expected.

"If you let me have my own way sometimes, I wouldn't put up such a fight." I whisper teasingly.

"One thing." Hardin pushes me back slightly, so he can examine my face slowly, a hint of a smile on his lips.

I mean, I was joking. Is he really going to do this again? When we met, he offered me one single wish, and he wouldn't say no.

"Lorelei." I glance between his greyish eyes, watching to see if there's any hint of annoyance, or anger with my request.

"She leaves in two days, do you really want to waste it on her?" He asks me softly, brushing my head behind me ear as his thumb strokes my cheekbone affectionately.

Do I want to waste it? I ask myself, internally battling between my dislike towards the ex, and all the other things I could ask for.

But I get one thing, and I'm truly beyond happy with that. Because I know exactly what I want.

"Me, you...vacation." I tell him instead, a smile creeping on my face knowing he can't refuse me.

Hardin's eyes seem to brighten as he smiles. "You really are something, you know that?"

"I do." I grin, kissing him quickly.

All the times I begged him to join me in New York, and turtle cay, and Africa, he couldn't because of the pack. However, this deal is non negotiable. An offer that he gives me on occasion, although this is only my second since we've met, I don't even remember what I said for the first one.

"And you, what do you want?" I muse, my fingers playing with his hair that gathers at the nape of his neck.

Hardin's eyebrows raise slightly. "Anything?"

I nod a little. "Anything in the world." I confirm.

"Is there an exasperation date on this offer?" He asks curiously.

"Six months." I declare, giving his cheek a light tap before returning to my own seat.

Tossing all the rubbish from the food in the bin as we pass, we walk into the shopping mall. Humans are very simple beings, self absorbed and a little slow. The fact that they're staring at us like we're moving in slow motion or something, is a little annoying. Somehow, seeing the way the females eyes widen as they gaze at Hardin, makes me happy.

He's mine, and they can look all they want. Naturally those words don't extend to ex's.

"Do you want a vibrator?" Hardin's voice takes me completely off guard.

"What?" I gape at him, completely gobsmacked that he just upright asks me such a thing in public.

Hardin stares at me from the next isle, eyes gleaming with mischief. "Do I need to say it louder?"

"No, and no I don't want one." I quickly tell him, cheeks burning slightly.

Yes, we're mated. Yes, we're married. And yet he's never spoke of sex toys, and least not with every intention to actually buy one.

"Not even for when I'm away on business?" He arches his eyebrow slightly, flashing me a small pink box in his hand.

I wanted the ground to swallow me whole.

"It doesn't bother me when you're away-"

"Liar." Hardin sniggers.

I glare.

"Are you just going to buy it even if I say no?" I quiz knowingly, deciding it's far simpler to just let him buy whatever he wants.

It's not like he can make me use it.

"Maybe." He winks, already heading to the counter.

Leaving him to do as he pleases, I return my attention back to the large range of panties and bras. Personally I'm not a fancy lingerie kind of person, but Hardin does enjoy lace on me.

I wonder how he'd react to silk? I silently wonder, already placing a couple of items in my basket. Making sure Hardin is out of eye shot, I head to the till and pay, before joining Hardin again.

"Do you want to go to the theme park after this?" Hardin randomly asks.

"Like on a rollercoaster?" I muse, raising my eyebrows a little.

"We could play hook the duck, and buy candy floss." Hardin has this look on his face, and naturally I couldn't refuse him.

"Like one of those human things, damn! What do they call them again?" I pretend to be confused.

"A date." Hardin grins.

"Are you asking me on a date, Mr. Stone?" I ask with false shock. I mean, dates aren't a wolf thing, so naturally he's never asked me on one.

Plus, I enjoy the darkening desire in his eyes when I call him that.

"Depends on your answer." Hardin retorts, grinning like a child.

"How could I refuse such an adorable face?" I mock, pinching his cheeks and effectively crushing his manhood.

Hardin blushes ten shades of red, which is quite amusing to see. Hardly anything fazes him, in fact I think I've only seen him embarrassed one time since the day we met.

After spending an hour or so in the mall, we toss everything into the back seat of his Range and head to the amusement park.

Our first date. I thought to myself, my heart warming a little. I make sure my phone is all I carry with me, before Hardin and I run into the noisy amusement park like two little kids.