\[Serenity’s POV\]
I stare up at Maverick while my heart races and nervous butterflies flutter around in my stomach. What in the world was I even doing right now? Begging him to take me. How could a virgin be so bold when she only recently started dating the one she was trying to entice?
‘You’re afraid.’ Mahogany murmurs, causing a wave of shock to rush through me. ‘You’re scared that once he has his memories returned he won’t want you anymore.’
Eyes widening, I take in the words that she is saying, and even though I want to argue and say she was wrong, somewhere deep down I knew that she was right.
I was afraid. I was so fucking afraid because Maverick was the first person that I felt so deeply about other than my own family, but the way I felt for him was like no one else.
He was a part of me, a part of my past, and a part of my future. He was the only one I could be completely myself with, and he was the one who accepted me despite all of my failings. When everyone else taunted and tormented me because of my being a girl and an heir, he was the one who encouraged me and made me feel like I was worth it.
But what would happen to us once his memories were returned? Would he discover that he already had someone? Would he realize that his mate is somewhere among those rogues, and would he ask me to save her? Could I save her?
Of course I could. If it made him happy, I was more than willing to do anything.
“Please,” I repeat, pushing aside any other thoughts. “I want you, Maverick.”
As I speak, I pull at him, trying to get his body to press against mine so that I can truly feel like he is here with me in this moment. But he continues to remain in place.
“I’m sorry,” he says, his voice gentle. “But I won’t do such a thing when you’re clearly struggling.”
“What?” I gasp, trying to feign confusion. “I don’t…”
“Serenity,” he says gently, pulling free and sitting up while I just watch. “I know you like the back of my hand, and you can’t fool me like you can the others.”
Flinching, I keep my defiant look in place even though he’s correct about what I’m feeling.
“I’m going to go to my own room now.” He says, standing and beginning to move. “I think it’s best you spend some time alone to get your thoughts in order.”
Opening my mouth, I prepare to stop him, but stop as I realize that nothing I say or do will change his mind.
He’s too good for me. I sigh collapsing once he’s gone. Way too good.
For the rest of the evening, I toss and turn, trying to sleep despite my mind racing. It is only when the sun starts to slither across my floor that I give up.
Sighing, I kick off my blanket and head into the shower. Once I’m finished washing, I head downstairs, where I find Uncle Jose speaking with his men. When he spots me, he smiles and motions for them to leave before heading my way.
“Why are you up so early?” He asks, eyeing me. “And why do you look like you’re carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders?”
For a moment, I don’t speak as everything that has been haunting me erupts again. Instantly, I find myself wanting to confide in him and spill everything, but would he give me the words that would make my heart calm?
“Come with me.” He announces when I don’t speak. “Let me take you somewhere.”
Nodding, I allow Uncle Jose to lead me toward the back of New Moon’s packhouse and onto the lush green lawn beyond.
Slowly, we move across it while a soft breeze brushes against our skin, and warm sunshine plays on our skin as we head to a small garden tucked into the back of the place.
“Have a seat,” Uncle Jose encourages me, motioning toward a single swing.
Remaining in place, I look from him to the swing, and when he gives me a look of encouragement, I do as I’m instructed. Once I’m in place, he goes behind me and begins to push.
“This place was your grandmother’s secret base in the past.” He says, giving me a gentle push. “When she was stressed out, she would come out here and sit on this very swing. Then,” he continues, pushing me again and again so that I swing higher. “She would beg me to help her fly.”
Fly. I guess it did feel like I was flying given the beautiful blue sky above and the wind whipping about my hair.
“Back then, she would unload everything on me while I pushed her just like this.” He announces, continuing his action. “Won’t you give it a try too?”
Growing quiet, he waits while I just stare at the sky, watching it grow close and then move away while I try to organize my thoughts.
“Have you ever loved someone?” I ask quietly, deciding to voice my biggest fear.
“Can’t say that I have.” He admits, causing disappointment to rush through me. “At least, not in the romantic sense. But I love my family and friends.”
“Is that really the same?” I ask.
“Not really,” he chuckles. “But give me some credit here. I’ve learned quite a bit in all my years.”
Sighing, I grow quiet again, debating whether or not this was even the time to be worrying about such things when Aunt Elise was missing and danger was looming over us. But if I wanted to focus on what was important, I did need to get my head straight.
“Say you did love someone, and that someone wasn’t your mate.” I begin, opening the dam that I tried to keep closed the night before. “But they say that no matter what, they’ll still care about you.”
Shit. I was really sounding ridiculous with this, and I knew that I was overthinking things, but I couldn’t stop the fight that was raging between my heart and head.
“How can you bring yourself to believe them?”
“Isn’t that simple?” Uncle Jose asks, his voice light. “You trust him, don’t you?”
“Of course,” I respond immediately. “I trust him more than I trust myself.”
“Then there’s your answer.” He laughs. “It’s quite simple. All relationships aren’t only built on emotion; they’re also built on compromise and trust. When you truly love someone, you trust them unconditionally.”
“Trust,” I repeat, frowning. “But how is that…”
“Sorry, sweetie,” he continues, cutting me off. “But that’s just how it is. When you decide to give your heart to someone, you also choose to believe that they won’t break it.”
“And if they do?” I challenge.
“Then they do.” He responds easily. “And then you move onto the next. Tell me, does he also not trust that you would choose him if you were to find your mate?”
“He does,” I counter, remembering his promise to me the night before.
“Then you should trust that he won’t hurt you and not let all these what-ifs drive you crazy.”