\[Elise’s POV\]
I stare down into Serenity’s face as she greedily sucks the bottle that I offer her while wishing that I could be so easily appeased. If only I were still a child who was oblivious to the viciousness and darkness of the world. Maybe then I wouldn’t have to live day to fucking day with all this pent-up rage and sorrow.
“She sure was hungry, wasn’t she?” Marty murmurs, kneeling down in front of me and poking at Serenity’s cheek. “Keep that up, and you’re gonna get chubby.”
“Let her be chubby.” I sigh, leaning back into the soft cushion of the seat I sit in. “She’s nothing more than a child. If she wants to be fat, let her be fat. If she wants to be afraid, let her be afraid. Soon enough, she is going to grow into an adult and begin to carry the weight of the world on her shoulders like the rest of us.”
Sure, I was being pessimistic, but after seeing that photo of my mother smiling so fucking happily with Denali, I couldn’t help it. All these damned questions just kept haunting me, driving me mad little by little.
How could she be happy without me?
Why did she give me away?
Did she not even miss me in the slightest?
What was her and my father's story? These were questions I would never get answers to since my mother was dead and my father was a criminal on the run. For the rest of my life, I would have to wonder what was so wrong with me that I wasn’t wanted.
“I think she’s done.”
Marty’s voice drifts through my haze, snapping me out of my head and giving me a distraction from the torrent of emotions I'm feeling.
“Then you burp her.” I announce, pulling the bottle free of Serenity’s lips and passing her to him. “I don’t do messy.”
“Messy?” Marty repeats, eyeing Serenity as if she were some foreign creature. “What exactly are you expecting to happen?”
“Don’t babies spit up?” I ask.
Honestly, I had no experience with children since I usually kept my distance. They were loud and annoying. Not my cup of tea. As a selfish bitch, the only person I wanted to have to worry about was me.
“And you want me to be the one who gets up chucked on?” Marty asks, eyeing me.
“That’s correct, handsome.” I beam, making him take Serenity. “Hurry up so we can take her back to her mother and be free of babysitting duty.”
I was sure that right about now Denali was being hounded by Olga for using her alpha command and was probably ready to escape. Maybe the big lug was with her right about now too. If so, I was sure that he was chomping at the bit to come take his daughter back from me since he didn’t trust me.
“How do I even do this?” Marty asks, holding Serenity away from him warily. “What makes you think I have any experience with this?”
“You strike me as a flirt.” I point out. “Are you telling me you haven’t been able to get with a single mother?”
From the moment I met Marty, it was clear that we were kindred spirits. We both had a devil-may-care attitude. Maybe that was why I felt so at ease with him. Add in the fact that he was easygoing and handsome, and well, I couldn’t have thought of a better guard, aside from William, of course.
Letting out a breath, I begin to let memories of the previous day flash in my mind. Even if I wanted to forget, I couldn’t stop remembering how his lips felt against mine, how his hands left trails of fire where they touched, and how damn good his body felt against me. Dammit. I couldn’t deny that I wanted a full taste of that man, but he was making it increasingly obvious that he wasn’t going to make it easy.
“Hey you,” Marty calls, pulling me back to reality. “Don’t just sit there and daydream; help me.”
“Dammit.” I growl, reaching out and grabbing Serenity. “Do I really have to do everything?”
Ten minutes later, I walk into the infirmary with Marty on my heels. He is trying his hardest not to laugh while I fight the urge to rip off my shirt so I don’t have to feel the cold spit up that is seeping through it.
“Here is your princess.” I hiss through gritted teeth, passing Denali Serenity. “She is fed, burped, and changed. If you need a babysitter at a later date, please don’t call me until she is able to keep her food down and change herself.”
“Thank you for this.” Denali says, cuddling Serenity against her. “I really do owe you one.”
“You’re right, you do.” I agree. “Anyway, I should get going before your hubby returns. If he hears that I was given alone time with his baby, he will definitely want to kill me.”
At my words, Denali’s expression falls, but she doesn’t speak.
“Well then, see ya.” I announce, turning and making my way out of the room. “Guard dog, you coming?”
“Sure,” Marty chuckles, like he actually has a choice in the matter. “But where exactly are we going?”
Remaining silent, I continue to move, making my way toward the stairs that lead to the bottom floor of the building, where the kitchen is located. Only when we reach our destination do I give Marty a wink.
“The past few days have been absolute chaos, and I need a drink. Care to join me?”
“Sure.” Marty grins, pushing open the door to the kitchen and waving me in. “But I get to pick the poison.”
Shrugging, I begin to follow as he sneakily makes his way through the room toward a cabinet in the back where all the alcohol is stored. Once he is inside, I wait until he emerges with a bottle of vodka and some cranberry juice.
“Basic,” I giggle. “But it’ll do.”
“This is Bacardi 151.” Marty points out as we head back toward our lodgings. “If this doesn’t put hair on your chest, I don’t know what will.”
“But I’m a woman.” I point out. “I shouldn’t have hair. What man would find me attractive then?”
For a moment, Marty doesn’t respond as his gaze travels down my body so it can come to rest on my breasts.
“I think they’ll overlook that.” He shrugs.
When we arrive at our destination, I head to my room and quickly change into a tank top and pair of shorts. Only once I’m comfortable, do I make my way back into the common area to find Marty relaxing on the couch with a glass grasped in his hand while another sits on the table in front of him.
“Come,” he calls while I take in the scene. “Come have a drink.”
Nodding, I do as I’m told, and when I collapse on the couch beside him, I grab my drink and down it in one gulp.
Hissing, I try to ignore the burning that travels into my nose and throat. Shit. He wasn’t kidding about this stuff about putting hair on your chest. It was strong and exactly what I needed.
“Another m’lady?” Marty asks when I hold my glass out to him. “Don’t drink it too fast.”
“Too fast or too slow, the ultimate goal is the same.” I counter, downing my second drink.
Sighing, I begin to relax while a nice fuzzy feeling begins to fill my head. This was exactly what I needed to shut the damn voices up. If only it could, at least permanently.
“I have to ask,” Marty says, drawing my attention to him. “What was it that you saw earlier?”
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“Don’t try to play it off. Since we went to find that formula, you’ve been on edge. And I didn’t miss how you reacted when you looked in that drawer.”
Tensing, I begin to consider whether or not I should actually be honest with Marty. Even if I felt comfortable with him, that didn’t mean that we were friends. He was practically a stranger who probably didn’t give two shits about what I was feeling.
“It’s nothing important.” I sigh, waiting for another drink. “Just family bullshit that would bore you.”
As I speak, I keep my expression neutral, but by the way Marty is looking at me, I know that he isn’t buying it.
“Wanna play? I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.” He suddenly asks, taking me by surprise. “That way we’re even, yeah?”
“Depends,” I purr, sitting my glass down and then pressing myself against him. “What exactly is it that you want to show me?”
Letting a slow smile begin to spread across my face, I place a hand on Marty’s thigh and start to slowly trail it up until I reach the hem of his shirt.
“If this is your way of trying to get me undressed, you don’t have to be so roundabout. Just ask, and I’ll gladly oblige.”
Leaning even closer, I continue to let my hand move, dipping it into Marty’s shirt so my fingers can begin to trail along his muscular stomach.
“As tempting as this is,” Marty announces, grabbing my wrist so he can stop my attack. “This isn’t what I meant.”
Frowning, I try to ignore the pang of pain that shoots through me over his rejection. This was certainly a first for me, and it was dredging up the unpleasant feelings I was trying to ignore after William did the exact same thing.
“Maybe this is your way of dealing with the things you don’t want to think about, but I hate to tell you.” Marty continues, removing my hand from beneath his shirt entirely. “This isn’t going to make all that weight you’re carrying disappear.”
“What are you, a therapist?” I grumble, grabbing the bottle of vodka and taking a swig. “If so, I’m not interested in being microanalyzed by someone who thinks they know what I’m feeling.”
“You and me aren’t very different.” Marty counters, taking the bottle from me as I attempt to take another swig. “And that’s why I think if anyone could understand what it is you’re feeling, it would be me.”