Chapter 70 Would I Retreat?
I felt his cold hands on my cheek and immediately opened my eyes.
“My chest isn’t sacred, Joan… you can open your eyes,” he chuckled.
Why was I thinking he wanted to kiss me?
Maybe he wanted to, but stopped himself, because I was sure he was looking at my lips.
I opened my mouth but no words came, so I just let out a nervous smile and quickly walked away from him.
I turned back again, handed him the towel, and hurriedly packed his damp clothes before reaching for the door.
“I will quickly dry these for you,” I said without turning back.
Then I walked out, closing the door softly behind me.
Once I stepped out, I let out the breath I had been holding and scoffed at myself.
“What the hell was I thinking?”
I dragged my feet to the backyard where the tumble dryer was and helped him dry his clothes.
When I was done I returned them to the room.
He sat on the bed, towel wrapped around his waist, relaxed as if he belonged there.
His chest was still bare, and even though I tried not to look at it, I just couldn’t resist it.
“Thank you,” he said as soon as I entered.
“You are welcome,” I replied and handed him the dry clothes.
He slipped the shirt on and buttoned it slowly.
“I also… wanted to say thank you,” I added, my gaze landing on the bouquet resting on the bed.
“For the flowers. That was thoughtful.”
He followed my gaze and smiled.
“You deserve to be celebrated. Not just for the job.”
Something about the way he said those words made butterflies rumble in my tummy.
“I still have to say thank you,” I said lightly, avoiding his gaze as I tucked my hair behind my ears stylishly.
He nodded, and silence fell between us for a while.
“I have to leave before it gets too late,” he muttered, breaking the silence.
This time, the rain had softened into a light drizzle.
I nodded and walked him to the door.
When we got to the doorway, he paused and turned to me.
“Goodnight, Joan,” he smiled.
“Goodnight Dave,” I replied.
Then he turned to leave.
I waited at the doorway until he reached his car and drove off before closing the door quietly.
I leaned back against the door and exhaled.
I told myself it was just the rain that made everything feel electric.
But deep down, I knew it wasn’t.
The remaining days of the week unfolded in an odd sort of uncertainty.
Tasks occupied my time, client discussions, designing projects… but my thoughts continued to wander back to that evening outside the restaurant. Every moment when I was not doing anything, the scene came back; Cassandra's arm linked with Alex's, his unsuccessful effort to break free, the way his gaze met mine as if he were attempting to communicate silently.
I hated the amount of space it continued to occupy in my mind.
Sometimes, my mind also went back to that night… the night when I thought Dave wanted to kiss me.
How silly.
Lena observed. She didn’t preach, but she ensured I wasn’t left alone with my thoughts for too long. She would pull me into the kitchen for tea, play silly music, and chat about everything but Alex. And gradually, the pain lessened, not completely gone, but manageable.
On Friday night, she noticed me looking at my phone once more. I wasn't even glancing at Alex's past messages, I was just scrolling without purpose, attempting to divert my mind.
"Put that down," she remarked, taking it from my grasp. “You will see Dave tomorrow. Concentrate on that."
Oh… that’s true.
Dave had invited me out to the club with him and I had accepted his invitation without hesitation.
I wasn’t a club person, but I needed the distraction.
I let out a sigh. "I understand, and I'm making an effort."
"Put in more effort."
She rested beside me on the sofa and looked into my eyes. “Tell me what you truly fear.”
I rested my head against the pillow.
"That I will never experience… anything genuine again. I’m scared of committing to anything now,” I said, my voice low.
Lena paused silently for a moment. “Is it because of Alex?” she finally asked.
“Don’t let Alex stop you from loving someone else, girl? Open your heart and let someone else love you the way you deserve.”
I looked at her. "Do you believe Dave might…?"
"I believe Dave is secure," she stated cautiously. “And at times, being safe is precisely what you require to remember what it feels like to be real once more.”
“Maybe,” I nodded slowly.
"No maybe… You will be going tomorrow. You will enjoy a good laugh, dance away your sorrow, drink, and perhaps allow him to hold your hand if it feels appropriate. And you are here sulking because of one man that doesn’t even deserve you,” she continued.
“I’ve heard you,” I replied reluctantly.
Friday night came within the twinkling of an eye.
As Dave texted that he was already outside my place, I looked at myself in the mirror again before stepping out.
When I got outside, I saw him casually leaning on his car, his hands in his pockets, and the street lamp over his head shone on his face gently.
As soon as he noticed me, he stood a bit more upright.
“Wow!” he exclaimed softly, shaking his head as if he had just beaten himself in an argument.
“You are attempting to put me in an unfair situation this evening,” he added.
I didn’t know what that meant, but I chuckled.
He walked over to the passenger’s seat and opened the door for me.
He watched me hop into the car and stood there for a few minutes more watching me with amusement.
“Let’s go, Dave,” I smirked.
“As your lordship pleases,” he bowed slightly and walked over to the driver’s seat.
He took another look at me, then smiled before turning the ignition on.
Soon we got to the club.
When we entered, the club buzzed with laughter and loud music.
He held on to me, one of his hands resting on my lower back as we moved through the large crowd.
We moved to a private corner that wasn’t so crowded.
We danced and drank.
After four glasses, I wanted to reach for another drink but he gently held my wrist.
“Take it easy,” he whispered close to my ear.
“I want you to remember this night,” he added.
“I can take care of myself,” I retorted, rolling my eyes playfully.
“I understand,” he muttered, his lips curling into a smirk and his hand staying on my wrist a little longer before releasing.
“I still have to assist you.”
I didn’t press further.
And I stopped drinking.
Through the party, his eyes remained on me despite the attention he got from other women.
Time passed as we danced and giggled.
After a few more minutes, we found our way outside. I let out a soft breath as the cool night breeze touched my skin.
He unlocked the car for me and he started the car immediately.
The trip back home was gentle and silent.
Soon we arrived at my place.
He parked and hurriedly stepped out of the car to get the door for me.
“Thank you,” I muttered softly.
I got out of the car into the silent street.
“Thank you once again,” I said.
“For tonight.”
He didn’t talk, but his eyes were fixed on my face as if he was trying to commit it to his memory.
“I’m glad about tonight… You looked so full of life. I’ve never seen you that way,” he said, his look serious even though he was smiling.
“Hmm…” I mumbled under my breath.
He didn’t lie, but that was still all thanks to him. I can’t remember the last time I had so much fun. It was always work and home for me.
But because of him, I stepped out of my comfort zone.
I didn’t know what to say, so I just smirked, holding my purse tightly to my body with my two hands as I looked at him.
“Goodnight Dave,” I finally said.
“Sleep well, Joan,” he replied.
As I turned to leave, I felt his fingers softly around my wrist.
Not to pull me.
But to simply make me stop.
I slowly turned around, then his hand moved from my wrist to my fingers, holding them gently.
He looked into my eyes and time seemed to stop at that moment.
My breath seized for a while, but I hurriedly forced it back.
“What?” I finally murmured.
He didn’t respond.
He just moved closer.
So close that I could feel his breath.
Before I knew it, his lips landed on mine, gently at first as if he was giving me the opportunity to push him away.
But would I?