Reflections

It was four in the morning when Persephone finally gave up on the idea of sleeping after Chris's asinine input on kids. She had been tossing and turning in bed as he slept, ironically, like a baby. Persephone looked at Chris and carefully eased out of the bed, bending over to retrieve his discarded T-shirt which sat next to the clothes she had tossed earlier. After pulling on his garment, she crept out of the bedroom into the wide hallway and down the staircase with motion-sensor lighting.

She walked into the kitchen grabbing one of his fancy tumbler glasses decorated with blue swirls and filled it with ice from his fancy custom-ordered smart refrigerator with glass doors that had been built into the walls of his kitchen. She took a step back looking at the refrigerator contents thanks to the soft lighting that was always on.

Fuck, this guy has opulent taste.

Persephone reached into the glass for a proportionate cube and pushed it into her mouth enjoying as it swirled in the warmth of her mouth as it slowly melted and satiated her thirst in the process. She began to wonder if Chris would prefer a custom-made child too as she began the journey back upstairs with glass in hand.

When she reached the bedroom, she found herself standing - hovering over Chris who was snoring lightly.

He had fallen asleep quickly, but she'd had no such luck. She tossed and turned pondering how serious he had been about having a kid. Now as she stared at him in the soft light that spilled in from outside, she wondered why everything was always so easy in is mind? Why was he so optimistic about the future- their future specifically?

She recognized she was envious about his carefree nature because she had the tendency to overthink - but then again, he did have a much easier childhood than she had. He grew up with two parents who loved him, who handed him everything he needed whereas her life was rife with struggles.

She never met her father- he abandoned the family the day Persephone was born. She saw her mother's struggles to provide for her three girls even though she had tried hard to hide the hardships from them. They never went without basic needs, but they did go without their mom's presence when they began school. She got home just in time to put them to bed, the next morning she sent them to school, and she was off to work.

During these years Persephone had to deal with wearing her sisters' hand-me-down's, which was why she began babysitting so young. She wanted money of her own so she could buy clothes that never sat in the "mend pile". Clothes that didn't come with commentary from either Echo or Andromeda about how one of them wore it better when it was theirs, or jokes about how Persephone's big ass was going to make the seams burst.

An ice cube in the glass shifted setting off a low clink that pulled her out of the sadness of memories past. After a quick glance at the glass, which was beginning to trickle with condensation, she refocused her eyes on Chris.

This guy wanted to bring a child into this world on a whim. He had no clue how hard it was to teach a little blank slate every little thing there was to know about existing.

Although it made her happy to some degree that he was so confident about their future, his opinion was not the only one that mattered.

Persephone raised the glass in the air toward his sleeping shape. "Cheers to another looming uncomfortable conversation," she said softly not looking forward to the morning. She looked forward to putting this conversation behind them.

Persephone turned to look out the window in the circular sitting area in the master bedroom hoping for a small sliver of daylight but finding none. She turned back to the bed looking at her empty side. Her body rejected the idea of getting back in. With a reluctant sigh she walked into his closet for a throw blanket and carried it to the rounded lounge chair in front of the rounded windows of the sitting area that overlooked Puget Sound.

She drank the cold water that had melted off the ice cubes and then popped another ice cube in her mouth before placing the glass on top of a coaster on the nearby console table. She sat down on the lounge chair covering her bare legs with the blanket. She began to think about all the hearts that she would soon break, in particular Maggie's whose innate desires were loudly ticking for a grandchild of her own.

"Babe?" She heard Chris's groggy voice behind her followed by the sound of him stirring. "What are you doing over there?'

She turned her head sideways. Through her peripheral vision she was able to see that he was now standing and walking toward her.

"I can't sleep," she said softly.

Chris, in complete nude splendor walked to her side, lifting the throw and slumping in next to her, placing his head on her lap. His hair tickled her skin. "If you can't sleep, I won't sleep either in solidarity."

Persephone snickered. She began to stroke his hair.

"Love?"

Chris reached up for her hand. He kissed it before placing it against his chest. "Hmm?"

Not even a true word and he was able to even make that sound relaxed and carefree when her thoughts had been full of turmoil.

The jerk.

"Exactly when did you realize I was going to be different in your life?" She asked him.

She felt his lips crack a smile against her flesh.

"After we met at the coffee shop," he replied in a soothing tone. "When we met, I thought I would lure you into bed by lunch time, but then you left, and I didn't even have a chance to ask for your number. Aunt Micaela's presence complicated that operation for me." He tightened his fingers around her hand. "I couldn't stop thinking about you in the days that followed."

"That soon?"

Chris shifted against her lap. "I can see now I was in denial," he replied. "But after the kiss at the baseball game," he paused before releasing a long breath. "I knew."

She chuckled at the memory. "You played that off extraordinarily well."

Chris released her hand and sat up. He shifted their bodies, so she was using his chest for support as he framed her body with his arms. "I told you things were different with you that night, if you'll recall."

Persephone shrugged. "What can I say? Your reputation preceded you."

"I know," he whispered against her temple. "I'm glad you decided to take a chance on me. I still have days when I feel I'm not worthy of you."

Hearing his insecurity made her realize she wasn't alone in doubt after all.

Maybe kids with this man wouldn't be such a bad thing after all... in a few years.