Chapter 36 36
Quinn's POV
"This is so good," Maddie was saying a few hours later, half walking and half pulling me through the clinic entrance. "This is genuinely so good, Quinn. I feel so much better knowing you're getting checked out. Don't you feel better?"
"Mm," I murmured.
"Because I've been worried sick. I haven't been sleeping well and I kept thinking about you out there somewhere with bruised ribs and that cut on your face. But everything is going to be fine, okay?" She steered me toward the front desk with a firm grip. "Everything is going to be fine."
"Mm," I said again.
The nurse at the front desk looked up at us. Maddie did the talking, explaining my injuries, while I stood beside her and glared at the floor, and thought about all the ways this could go wrong.
"I'll page one of our medics to come and see you," the nurse said pleasantly, reaching for the phone. "Just take a seat over there."
I sat down. Maddie sat beside me and patted my knee encouragingly.
Please, I thought, closing my eyes briefly. Please, whoever is up there, I have not asked for much. I have been through a lot this past year. I have been shot at, I have watched someone die in front of me, I have moved apartments twice in two weeks. I am asking for one small thing. One tiny, reasonable thing. Do not let it be Harmony Sinclair. Send anyone else, anyone at all. Just please, please, please—
"Miss Sinclair?" the nurse said into the phone. "Could you come to the front desk? We have a patient for you."
I opened my eyes and turned to look at the window to my left. It was large enough, at least four feet from the ground. The drop would be nothing.
"Quinn?"
I turned back to Maddie, who was gesturing towards a door to our left. Harmony Sinclair had already appeared around the corner in her navy scrubs. She stopped short when she saw me, and for several agonizing moments, neither of us said anything at all.
Then Harmony looked at my face, taking in the bruises on the visible parts of my body, and the way I was holding myself.
"Come with me," was all she said.
Maddie started to stand, but Harmony shook her head at her. "Just Quinn, please."
"Do you know her?" Maddie asked as she sat back down. I followed Harmony down the corridor and into a small examination room. She closed the door, and I heard the lock click.
"Sit down," she ordered, pulling on her gloves. Her ability to stay calm, even after being shocked by my presence, was admirable. Her face was entirely blank—it was as though we were now strangers to each other. All of a sudden, I felt guilty wash over me at the things I had said to her, last time we saw each other.
I sat on the examination table and said nothing, while she checked the cut above my eyebrow. She cleaned it properly, pressed two fingers carefully along my ribs and asked me to breathe in and out. I did everything she asked without saying a word to her.
When she was done, she pulled off her gloves and then gave me an assessing look.
"Right," she said. "I need you to tell me how this came to be."
"It's just bruised ribs and a superficial cut. I'm fine."
She let out an impatient sound. "I know, it's not my business, but I really need to know if other authorities have to be involved."
Oh, no. Not the mention of the cops again! "Look, appreciate the concern, Harmony, but I really should get back to my friend, she's been waiting and—"
"You're not going anywhere," Harmony insisted. Her voice was calm, but I knew better than to argue with her. "Not until you talk to me."
I started to open my mouth to tell her there was nothing to worry about, but she raised her hand to shut me up. "I'm not finished, Quinn. And no, this goes beyond just those bruises on your face and body. I need to know what your deal is, why those pictures were on your laptop. I need answers, and I need them today. Before you walk out that door and I never see you again!"
Harmony stopped, her chest rising and falling heavily, her eyes full of determination. I had to admit: I was so tired. I was inexplicably, bone-deep tired of carrying all of it by myself, moving from place to place and watching people get hurt because of me. I was tired of pretending every single day that I was holding it together when I was barely keeping my head above water.
I felt my throat close up with unnameable emotions. "I don't even know where to start." I admitted. "It is all so much..."
Then my voice cracked and thinned out and that was when the tears arrived. It came all at once, as though a dam had broken after being held under pressure for far too long. I pressed both hands over my rapidly moistening eyes, and the sob that came out of me was so ugly.
"Oh, God! Oh, God!"
"Hey." Harmony's voice was closer now. I felt her sit beside me on the examination table. "Hey, it's okay."
"It's not okay!" I gasped, from behind my hands. "None of it is okay! I am so fucking tired, Harmony, I am so tired of doing this by myself."
"Then stop doing it by yourself," she said quietly. "Whatever it is."
I cried harder. I hadn't cried like this since the hospital, when I had woken up in that bed and been told that Aaron hadn't made it. I had held it together then, because I had to. I had sworn that nobody would see me shut down, and yet, here I was.
"I'm sorry," I said. "I'm sorry, I don't..."
"Stop apologizing, okay?" Harmony said. "Just breathe."
It hurt my ribs, but I breathed anyway.
"What happened to you?" Harmony asked again. "Who did this to you? What or who are you investigating?"
"I have been investigating someone for a long time. Someone who I believe is responsible for something that happened to someone I loved." I wiped my face with the back of my hand. "I went to meet a contact last week, he said he could get me evidence. But some men showed up and they killed him, right in front of me, and I barely got out."
Harmony was very still beside me.
"I've been moving around since then because I don't want anyone connected to me to get hurt." I looked at the floor. "That's part of why I left your apartment and moved to my friend's place. But I have moved out of there too. It's not safe to be around me right now."
"Quinn," Harmony said carefully. "Who are you investigating?"
I shook my head.
"Quinn, tell me!"
"I can't tell you everything," I said. "I can't. Not yet. There are things in my research that involve people you know, and I need you to trust me that I have good reasons for not telling you the full picture right now."
"People I know." Harmony repeated slowly.
I nodded, and I watched her face as she turned that over. I could see her trying to figure out which direction it was coming from.
"Is it dangerous?" she asked.
"Yes."
"Are you in danger right now?"
"Probably," I admitted. "Yes."
Harmony was quiet for a long moment. Outside the door, I could hear the ordinary sounds of the clinic. The normal world going about its normal business on the other side of a locked door.
"Quinn." Harmony turned to look at me. "I need you to tell me something, anything. I have been sitting on so many questions for weeks now, and I cannot keep pretending that I'm not curious."
I looked at her, this woman who had done nothing wrong except trust the wrong person, the same as me, and the same as Aaron. Where could I even start?
"The person I lost, the one I've been trying to find justice for." I looked down at my hands again. "His name was Aaron Foster. He was my boyfriend, and I was in that car with him the night he died."