Chapter 105

Chapter 105
“I’ve never…in my entire experience…have I seen this extensive of a lock come from this kind of rune. And I’ve seen Solaris’ mind. Holy shit. You want to talk about a mind trap.”

Sitting down on the floor, she rested her chin on her hand as she stared at the door. I realized after a few minutes she would not move from that spot. Leaning against the wall, I waited for her to say something.

She didn’t, and I felt time become a blur. Had it been minutes or hours? Did it flow differently here than it did outside? I thought maybe I would doze off, but apparently you couldn’t within your subconscious or whatever this place was.

At some point, Eros had joined us in the room. He sat behind Lor and she leaned against him as she stared at the door. It felt like hours before she finally shouted into the room. I jumped, as did Eros.

“Fuck! That was a pain.”

Getting up, she reached out for one lock and shot a blue light into it. The initial rune that was etched into the chains disappeared. Revealing the second one underneath it. Again, she chose another lock that was much higher up this time; the chains disintegrated under a bright blue light. Once she finished, there was only the carved rune on the stone door left.

After putting both her hands on the door, the rune glowed bright red. It cracked and angrily spat out streaks of red charged lightning, but Lor ignored it. She pushed more magic into the door before it tried one last rush of fire. Still, she didn’t move as the red rune turned blue before disappearing altogether.

Sighing, Lor stepped back and put her hands on her hips. “Damn, I’m good.”

Eros chuckled. “I honestly thought you’d get it sooner.”

“You see, so did I, but there was a trick halfway through. Almost like a false trail.” Lor looked at me and then back at the door. “I can’t imagine you having anything that is actually worth sealing up that tight. I mean, Noah wasn’t this guarded, and he killed Finn’s sister.”

My eyes widened. “What?”

She spun around to me. “You didn’t know? God, you are stupid. They are golden-fated, just like you. Finn’s sister was Noah’s fated mate. She had to die so Finn and Noah could be together. Noah ended up killing her, though. Sol had been there, tried to save them, but she got to see their golden bond forged.”

I shook my head. “How could Finn forgive Noah?”

“For one, the bond. It’s that special. Two, because he turned into his Lycan form. Completely uncontrollable. It wasn’t his fault, really. What I want to know is why the hell you are so fucked up? I mean, you didn’t kill Sol. She even blessed your damn bond. We talked at length about what she planned on doing.”

My eyes cast down. “It’s nothing you need to worry about.”

Her cackle echoed through the room. “See, that’s where you are wrong.”

Lor smiled, and I realized it was slightly manic with a hint of evil behind it. A hidden enjoyment in the pain of others. I stepped back for a moment, but Eros had come behind me, blocking the door.

“It’s time to go, wolf.”

She turned to the door and raised her hand. The entire room flashed blue this time, and the doors flung open. The room plunged into darkness, and I felt myself being pulled forward. I tried to dig my heels in, tried to run. Nothing was working.

Suddenly, I was sucked through the door, and it slammed shut behind me. Whatever was pulling me forward stopped, leaving me alone in the inky blackness. There was a flash of light before I saw Aelia standing before me. Blinking a few times, I reached out and stroked her cheek. My hand connected with hers, and I choked out a sob.

“A…you aren’t real…”

She laughed. “I am, actually. Real, just not alive. I’ve come to you a few times now, but you refuse to believe me. Or listen to me.”

Turning her back on me, she walked through the darkness. I followed her, stumbling somewhat to keep up. After a while in the darkness, I could see something glowing blue. As we got closer, it grew brighter and brighter.

Aelia stopped in front of it, brushing the glass flower that was giving off a faint blue glow. From it, a golden-threaded braid reached out and disappeared into the darkness. Reaching out, I touched it. It was so light that it floated in my hands, but the strands were as soft as silk to the touch. Within it, there was a thick strand of red that wove its way through, the only thing breaking up the spun gold.

“I blessed your bond and added a strand of my bond to yours. It saved a piece of my soul within the bond, which is why I’m here.”

“A, why…?”

She cut me off, her tone sharp. “I’m disappointed in you, Silas.”

I swallowed hard. “You don’t…”

“I do. I understand. I understand every action you took and why you took it. But you were wrong every step of the way, Sil. You locked up your own soul; your bond. Locked away everything that made you a great Alpha, a wonderful brother, and a friend. You destroyed everything you were, and for what?”

“So I wouldn’t have to be in pain again! So I wouldn’t lose those I loved! So I could be stronger!”

Aelia shook her head. “You’re a coward, Sil. Just like Dad. The only difference is that he killed his mate, and that drove him to the edge. You managed to save yours after killing him. You still drove him away, though. Because killing him once wasn’t enough.”

“What? No.” I fell to my knees, putting my head in my hands. “That wasn’t my fault. He chose…he chose all that.”

“He didn’t, Silas, and deep down, you know that.” Aelia loomed over me. “Noah and Finn are forcing you to face it now. Whether you like it or not. Lor unlocks the places in our minds that we don’t want. Memories, feelings, and in your case, the bond and your soul. The magic you used is gone now.”

I shook my head, looking up at her. “A, please…please don’t do this.”

She gave me a sad smile, crouching down and brushing some hair out of my face. “It’s too late. Plus, I wouldn’t stop it even if I could. Nate deserves better, Silas.” One of her hands grabbed my shoulder gently, strong enough to hold me in place. “They only wanted to fix your bond and make you feel again. I don’t think that’s good enough. Not for what you have done. You will suffer for every single thing you did to our love.”

Her other hand came forward, with the glass flower in it. Aelia held me tighter as she pushed the flower into my chest. I sucked in a breath as her hand and the blue glow disappeared, plunging us into darkness.

“This will be the last time. I’m using everything left to give you this opportunity.”

Looking at me as she pulled her hand back out, empty of the flower, her eyes glowed gold. The hand that was holding my shoulder pushed me away from her. I tried reaching out, but the darkness swallowed her. Suddenly, I was falling back with nothing under me.

Her voice filtered through the surrounding darkness. “Relive it all, Silas. See what you have destroyed. See what you have done and feel all of it. This is your punishment that I see befitting the crime.”

\-

Jolting up, I immediately retched. A bucket appeared between my legs, and I threw up. Tears streamed down my face, and I wailed as I threw up everything that was in my stomach along with straight stomach acid by the end. My body shook, and I felt so weak. When I finished heaving, I curled up into a ball and wept. Never in my life had I felt so alone. My emotions crashed against me like a tidal wave of pain and suffering.

Seeing it again, watching as I broke not just my best friend, but my mate further and further. Feeling it again in a place where my soul was fully present. I felt disgusted with myself. My skin crawled, and all I wanted to do was shed it. To scrub away every single thing I had said and done. I’d lost everything. Now, I could actually feel the genuine pain of that loss.

“Well, I think that’s what you were looking for.” A voice scratched against my ears.

“Yes, thank you. I appreciate it.”

Another voice and it was too much. I covered my ears, trying to muffle their words.

“I’ll see you back at the pack. I promised to help our dear Alpha. I love that he wants to use my ideas in the pack. I’m excited to experiment!”

There was laughter. I hated it. A hand touched my shoulder, but I shied away from it. I didn’t want anyone to touch me. Dirty didn’t even begin to describe how I felt.

“Silas, it’s getting dark.”

I shook my head, curling up tighter. Digging my nails into my arms, I felt them break the skin and draw blood. Someone cursed, and I felt a warm cloth touch my arm.

“He’s not going to be able to drive back, Noah.”

There was a sigh. “I can drive him. I’ll take his car and then run back. Charles can give a heads-up to the patrol.”

“We need to leave soon though, or we will miss our flight.”

Arms grabbed me, and I fought them. “Don’t touch me, don’t…please…”

The arms wrapped around me still, holding me tight. I grabbed hold of the shirt and sobbed into his chest. Shaking my head, I struggled to breathe, and black spots filled my vision before my legs crumbled. My consciousness left me to the darkness I’d just come from.

\-

“What the fuck did you do to him?”

Charles’s shouting brought me to consciousness.

“He’s alive. In fact, his nerves are healed. So, I’m returning him in better physical condition than when he came to us.”

“He’s a limp noodle. A whimpering limp noodle.”

I shifted and realized I was being carried. My eyes fluttered open, and Noah looked down at me with what looked like pity. Tapping his shoulder, he set me down gently, and I swayed a bit, but he held me up. He was being nice, and I couldn’t understand why.

“The fuck is happening right now?”

“Charles, for once in your life, be quiet, will you?” My voice came out scratchy, and I knew I was minutes away from dissolving into tears again, but not in the entryway.

His eyes widened, but then he glared at me. “Why the hell…?”

“Just stop!” My voice was stronger, but my emotion snuck through, the pain lacing into my tone.

“I’m going to help him up to his room, then I’ll be out of your hair.”

Noah walked with me, helping support me as we walked up the stairs and down the hall. He opened the door to the room I indicated and walked me in, setting me on the bed. He squatted down, looking at my arms, checking the marks I made. I looked at him, confused as to the amount of care he was taking.

“Why…?”

He looked up at me. “The point was to make you understand the pain that Nate went through because of you.”

My breath caught, and I saw my tears drop one by one onto my pants. “I don’t know…I don’t know if I can live with what I’ve done.”

“You have to. Because if you die, so does Nate. Again.”

The tears were spilling over, and I could barely make out the room anymore. It really felt like too much. He was right, though; I couldn’t take Nate’s life away. Not again. I’d survive as long as he did. I had to for him.

“Is this my punishment? That I have to live with this pain? The knowledge of what I have done?”

Noah stood and sighed. “No, Alpha. That’s a gift. A gift that you can feel again and that you can be a better person. Not making the same mistakes over again that you continued to do over these past four or so years.”

I clasped my hands together. “I should be punished. I deserve it…after…”

Noah walked to the door, but his hand held the door handle. “You are being punished.” He turned to me, pity in his eyes. “You will never have your mate by your side to run this pack. You will never be able to hold him, love him, like you could have if you had accepted him. You will never know your pups. Never see them as babies or be there to watch them grow up. You won’t be part of Nate’s dream anymore. That is your punishment. One that you will have to live with for the rest of your life.”

The sound of the door clicking shut brought with it a silence that only my sobs filled. Finally letting his words sink in, I howled into my hands. I curled up on my side in bed and broke. At some point, I think someone opened the door to my room, but they didn’t say anything and the door clicked shut after that.