Chapter 70 - Missery and joy

**James pov**

I can’t say I was myself when I got to the parking lot next to the packhouse. It was like I was driving in a fog and found myself making the wrong turn twice. Zandra’s words replayed in my head. “*Without your intervention, Carhy and Freespi will die…*” Argus was in the same state, he staggered to and fro, whimpered, growled, and sighed. None of us had gotten any clarity as to what would or could happen. Zandra herself did not know, she had received a series of pictures, as usual, but they were out of order, a possible future mixed with images from the past. She just knew our girls were facing something serious, dangerous, and lethal. But when? Now? Tomorrow? In a week, month, or several years? She couldn’t answer that. All of this had been dominant so my case regarding Hitch had been overshadowed, but the last thing she said before I left was, “*Our girl has already been here about your friend. If Callum agrees I’ll give it a go, I’ll ask my lake…that’s all I can promise.*” After that, she gave me another warm, very rare hug before we parted ways.

“Bro!!!” Kevin came running while I was taking my bags out of the car in the parking lot. He hugged me tight, making me reflect on how big and strong he had become. My little brother was almost the same size as me. How did that happen? And…Bro? A little too hip to come from him…or maybe not, I realized I couldn’t judge anymore…not after all the time we spent apart.

“Hey, kiddo! I’ve missed you!” I ruffled his hair and for a second, I saw that crooked boyish smile and the sparkle in his eyes I missed so much.

“Hahaha, I missed you too! What are you doing here? Why didn’t you say you would come?”

“It was a last-minute decision and I thought maybe Ina had said something.”

“Ina? No, haven't heard from her, I've seen her around but she’s mostly with Zara...guess they do...witch stuff...”

“Mhm...,.if they want to call it that...”

“Huh?”

“Nothing, I would like to see Hope and Callum, the sooner the better. Are they here?”

“I think Hope is around, maybe in the kitchen with Greta, Callum will probably be gone for another hour or so Something at the border. They have picked up the scent of bloodsuckers. Ambrogio says he has nothing to do with it but that one of his sons possibly went rogue…”

“A rogue vampire? Is that even possible?”

“I have no idea, Tony’s been here searching the area with Callum, he looks grim so I guess there’s some truth to it.”

“Tony…he was the one who took care of our pack in the cave huh?” I could see how he grinned when I said those words and wondered why.

“What?”

“Nothing…”

“Then what are you grinning at?”

“You said Our pack…does that mean you’re ready to make them yours?” I could see the hope in his eyes and I felt Argus’ answer inside.

“Kevin…it’s not that simple…”

“Of course it is! You are their Alpha!”

“Still, not that simple…”

“You, as a self-chosen rogue, should still know and feel what it’s like to live without a pack, you have to feel the need, the pain...think about these guys, they have no choice, they were forced to go on without a pack or an alpha,...but now…now there is an alternative on the table, their true Alpha exist, and he is here, but you don’t want them...can you imagine the pain of that rejection?.. .” I could see it in his eyes…even though he belonged to Callum’s pack, his true place was with me and his words were dripping with unspoken accusations. I’d never thought of it that way…I’m aware of the pain a rogue can feel when they’re excluded from their Alpha…but what does a whole pack feel when their Alpha excludes them?... I gasped as I felt Argus’s “*What do you think I was trying to tell you?*” attitude. I never wanted to hurt anyone…But I never saw myself as an alpha…I was never fully trained to do so. But I heard him, and I understood what I was hearing.

“Jesse! Jesse!” Hope’s happy and familiar voice interrupted the gloom and I turned just in time to catch her as she threw herself into my arms. I felt how much I missed her, but also how much she had changed since we spent hours together on the parkour track back home. After a deep breath filled with red roses, something that automatically made me think of Zandra’s garden and back to the words she had spoken, I reluctantly pushed her away. But I couldn’t quite take my eyes off her. She had changed… not only that she now had the world’s strongest wolf inside her… No, she, her human side, was also stronger, more confident, and more open. She was no longer the quiet introverted girl I’d come to know, the one who would rather spend time either out of breath on the track or talking to the wolves at the zoo instead of talking to people... Which was now perhaps a little more understandable. But there was still something else… Argus got my attention when he played a sound…a sound of Hopes's heartbeat…but there were two of them…her heart had a shadow…Oh my fucking God!!! She is pregnant! I looked at her. Black tights, rosy cheeks…and an oversized sweatshirt!… I suddenly felt a bit of joy in all this misery.

“What a lovely surprise! What are you doing here? Not that you need to have any reason to come here.” There was a radiance about her, and her cheerful spirit eased the yoke that weighed me down…I wonder how long it would take her to share the news.

“Obviously, I’m here to see you, Kevin, everyone, and anyone else…” *Take the hint girlfriend….Nope, she didn’t…*

“But the one I have to see is Callum.” A shadow of worry quickly crossed her eyes. I didn't like that, I don’t want to bring her worries, least of all now…

“Of course…Jesse, is something wrong?” Her compaction struck me right in the heart area, such a sweet soul…

“Hard to answer that question…it’s about Hitch.”

“Hitch? Sasha’s dad?”

“Yes, he’s sick…I want to ask Callum’s permission to invite him here so Zandra can try to help him.

“You don’t need Callum’s permission, you have mine. You should have brought him right away!” I felt her authoritarian aura, or rather, Luna’s and I couldn’t help but smile in awe.

“Sweet Hope…I know you’re an Alpha couple and you…hmm…how do I put this now…I know Callum wouldn’t stand a chance if he challenged you on a decision you made. But…I still want to show him respect, from one Alpha to another, and ask for his permission to bring a rogue into his pack…your pack. Do you understand?” She was quiet for a few seconds and I suspected she and Luna were having an inner dialogue. I was certain that Hope understood exactly. Luna on the other hand, there was no wolf stronger than her, no one that had a higher rank and I could imagine that she thought it unnecessary to ask permission elsewhere when she had already given it. To be fair, she was an old gal with old rules…

“Of course I understand.” She smiled her charming smile and nodded.

“He should be back soon. You can leave your things while you wait, are you staying with Kevin and Emma or do you want a room in the packhouse?”

“My old room will be just fine.”

“Oh, sorry hun, it’s occupied, we had some unexpected guests from another pack hit by the vampires…it was before Ambrogio…before their father came to his sentence… it's a long story, another time, okay?”

“Oh, okay, whatever you can offer then.”

“I have an idea! You can take Cathy’s room! She’s not here anyway.” Cathy’s room, I couldn’t decide if I hated the idea or loved it. The thought of sleeping in her bed, her scent all around me…it was alluring, but it could also be torture…and why was she not here? Could I finally get the answers I needed from Hope? I decided to give it a try…

“Oh, okay...Sheś not here?…did she go on a trip? Should we expect her back soon? I don't know how she would react to finding me in her room when she get back” I tried to sound as neutral as I could but saw in the glint in Hope’s eyes that she knew more about me and Cathy than I guessed.

“I’ll let her big brother tell you.”

“Eh…okay…sound serious?”

“No. Not serious…daring, brave, impulsive are some of the words I would choose.” Her answer left both me and Argus more confused and worried than before. Maybe I could find some clues in her room?

“Cathy’s room will be fine…”

“Perfect! I make sure it’s clean.”

“No problem, you don’t need to give anyone an extra task, I’ll manage…You know I did live in a barrack in the desert for a very long time.” I put my arm around her and together with Kevin we took the first steps towards the packhouse at the same time as my phone rang.

“Hello?”

“Jesse! Hi, it’s Callum.”

“Hey Callum…” I looked at Hope to see if she had linked him, telling him that I wanted to meet him but she shrugged her shoulders and looked a little questioning.

“I hope I’m not intruding and it’s on short notice but I’d really appreciate it if you could come up to us for a few days, I have something I’d like to talk to you about.” 

Hmm…let me check my calendar, I’ll hand it over to my secretary for now..”

“What?...you have a...” Before he could say more, I handed the phone to Hope.

“Hey babe…”giggle”…yeah he’s already here…No, I didńt know, neither did Kevin, he surprised us...perfect, see you in a bit…I love you more...yes I do...I'm older so my word is final...ok, not me, but Luna is...hahaha...I hold you to that, you know I will...stop it...hahaha...no,...okay...see you soon” She blushed a little as she handed the phone back.

“He’ll be back in an hour.”