Chapter 68 - Vodka with a Witch

**Cathys pov**

Zandra was back! It had taken every single white witch we could get hold of and not only that, Ambrogio, together with Hope, had been the one who finally managed to get her back. Zandra and Ambrogio had a damaged history, bloody and broken but somewhere, there was something between them. I was very protective of Zandra, we all were…but I wasn’t one to judge…not with my failed relationships. The main thing was that she was awake! She was back with us and I had thought she would once again boss around and make our lives unbearable...but in a loving way, we didn’t want to be without of course.

But she had been quiet, thoughtful…calm. I know she can be like that when Ambrogio is hurt, I know that now. Previously I did not know about their connection, but I did know she gathers strength by resting when he has his moments, or rather months or years of suffering…I know that now though, I know some of their history…But now Ambrogio is fine, and he is healthy…he was here when she came back, he helped us… But she keeps to herself. I’ve seen her swimming in her lake, muttering at Aayla’s grave and whatever we ask her for, we don’t have to argue, she says yes right away…or almost anyway…

Zara has been with her almost all the time and next to her, Ina. It feels a little odd that Ina directs her full attention to Zara instead of me. Jealous? Maybe, I know what it’s like to be in Ina’s warmth, it’s like the sun one day in May when you are finally reborn after a long hibernation. I know I can still feel that feeling if I were to ask for it, but I’m not 100% in the same place as before, despite everything she’s proven about regretting her past actions, and besides, I don’t want to give Zara a reason to bewitch me again, I had enough of that as a child. But time was up, I had to talk to Zandra, so when I saw Zara and Ina munching on a muffin at breakfast, I hurried towards Zandra’s cottage. The roses outside were blooming as always, but they were darker, the edges of the rose petals dry and burnt by the sun’s rays or the lack of their protector. I also couldn’t smell the youthful fresh scent that usually hit you upon entering Zandra’s garden. I took three deep breaths and raised my hand to knock when the door opened.

“Come in child, I’ve been waiting for you...”

“How did you know that…?” Stupid question.

“It doesn’t matter how I knew, just know I know!” For a split second, I had the old hag in front of me and I smiled to myself as I followed her into the house. It wasn’t long since I was here with Hope, but it still felt like I hadn’t been here since I was a child. Maybe because so much had happened since then, I was a different person, maybe more damaged than when I was last here. I looked around and tried to find my way back to who I was through the colorful flower pots, the old scattered books, and the furniture. The large glass doors to the back of the house...everything I recognized from my childhood visits to the hag. But something else dominated, something that had been there since I learned to walk and I followed the lovely scent. In the kitchen, there was a large cake plate on the table. Chocolate chip cookies, my favorite. Sure, you could buy the factory-baked ones at the store, Maryland’s, Pepperidge Farm, or something else, more local. But Zandra made the absolute best chocolate chip cookies I’ve ever tasted, and for a moment I forgot why I came.

“I’m glad you like the cookies child, you’ve always had a sweet tooth. but I suspect you came for another reason?” She looked at me and somewhere inside I suspected she already knew the answer. I took a sip of the tea that she served. It was non-alcoholic…weird, she always spiked it when she knew it was time for a serious conversation. As if she read my mind, which she probably did, she got up and walked over to the sink. She bent down, opened the cupboard below, took out a bottle, and returned to the table. Wolf Vodka…ok, she brought out the heavy stuff.

“I suppose you need some of this to tell me what brought you here?” She had already uncorked and was in the process of diluting my tea.

“Thanks, Zandra, that’s enough!...” She brought the bottle to her own cup instead and I looked at mine before lifting it to take a deep sip…really deep…She mirrored what I was doing. Now, I don’t know what wolf vodka does to people other than wolves, least of all witches as powerful as Zandtra but she kept her eyes closed for a while after the sip, like she was enjoying what it was doing to her so I guess she’s not completely unfazed.

“So…are you going to ask what you want to ask or do you need another sip? Maybe a couple more cookies?” I couldn’t help but smile, even if it was a nervous smile, I had the old hag in front of me, at least for now. With her smart judgmental words that we all hated and loved.

“It’s about James…” The words got stuck in my throat as soon as I said his name. James…Jesse as he now preferred. The reason for many of my sleepless nights.

“James…mhm…and what do you want to say about him?”

“Hrm…he’s mine, or he was mine…it’s complicated actually, so complicated I don’t know how to explain it…uh…we were kids, or me more than him, but Freespi woke up right then and she’s never forgiven me, or well she has…but still, not really, and after Italy and the vampire Gora, oh, things went terribly wrong and now I’m here in Great Falls but still not, I mean, I’m in Low Falls and Hitch! Hitch is sick, very sick and James loves him….”

“Child!” She stared at me with an impatient look.

“Yes?”

“You rambling! And for once, I don’t understand anything! Jeez, girl, you’re worse than a ball of yarn that got attacked by a litter of kittens! Take another sip, add a deep breath, and try again, in a calm and grown-up way.” I quickly picked up my teacup and emptied the contents. Then I watched as she filled it again, stronger this time, and emptied it as well. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. *“Girl, if you’re not too affected by the vodka, I’d love your help…my nerves are a mess…I’m doing this for both of us…please?”* Her warmth spread faintly in my body and I felt a little calmer, more collected.

“James and I are mates…we’ve rejected each other but without our wolves so part of the bond is still…active.”

“I see…and it doesn’t come as a surprise you know.” Of course, it didn’t…

“Now, James has a friend…Hitch, he’s very sick. We have sent water from your lake and it has done some good…but he needs more, he needs you…”

“And you do this for him? Or for James?” It was an honest question that required an honest answer.

“James…I don’t know Hitch but he seems like a good man, a good wolf…”

“What is his illness?”

“Hermangiosarcoma…”

“Oh, sweet child…” She looked down into her cup with a resigned expression, an expression that gave me a little panic.

“What? I know it’s deadly to our kind…but Zandra, your lake…your magic?...”

“Cathy…it’s a real disease…no damage caused by the supernatural…”

“But the water we sent made him better, that must mean something right? Please Zandra, something has to be done, James loves him! James can’t lose him, I can’t, I don’t want to…” The words got stuck in my throat. Was there nothing she could do?

“This man, this Hitch…has he lived a good life? The water in the lake is healing but above all, judgmental…”

“I don’t know…he’s been in the military for most of his life if I understand correctly…he apparently has a daughter with some issues…sorry Zandra, but my distance from James, that we’ve chosen to keep…that I chose to keep has also made me unwittingly…but I mean, if James loves him like a brother then he must be a good man right?” I felt the tears I was trying to hold back burning as I looked at her.

“I can’t promise anything... and to be honest, I don’t have much hope, it’s a serious disease that takes a lot of wolves. But ask James to bring him here and I’ll do what I can, I’ll ask my lake...I’ll ask for vitality…” I don’t know if those words were for Hitch or for herself because she suddenly looked very tired and I felt awful, she needed rest…time to get back on her feet and here I was, asking her to do the opposite.

“Thanks Zandra…I know you must be…taken after everything that’s happened…I’m here if you want to talk about it, you know that right?” It felt a little strange to say that to her, like a child offering her grandmother a therapy talk.

“Thank you, Cathy, you have a white soul…”

“What does that mean?”

“That you live a good and clean life.”

“Hahaha, in what way? I’ve done so much shit Zandra...been promiscuous, blamed others for things they didn’t do, hated my parents...”

“Oh, sweet child...You have been angry with your parents because they are gone, that is normal for any child. You’ve explored your sexuality, interspecies, which is also normal and it’s probably taught you where you belong. Blaming others… is something we do when we think we are protecting someone we care about. In this case, your faith was flawed, but your actions were not wrong. If, on the other hand, you are protecting someone who you know has done wrong, then that is something completely different.” She sipped from her cup as I watched her. From her point of view, I was like any orphan she-wolf. But inside I felt and knew things that I buried deep so she wouldn’t catch a glimpse of them.