Chapter 27 Loosing Me
DAGNOTH DRACULIS
watched as she moved among the pups, every motion deliberate and careful, and I felt something unfamiliar tighten in my chest. A smile threatened to slip across my face, but I held it back with effort, reminding myself it was only part of the agreement. I was pretending to be their “daddy,” nothing more. Nothing.
Yet, even as I told myself that, a small, uncomfortable warmth crept under my chest armor. Liam, my little warrior, had that same fierceness I knew too well. Even at his age, I could sense it, the bite in his spirit, the stubborn refusal to yield. I clenched my fists, reminding myself that I had no place here, that these were not my children
But watching her with them, the way she bent to listen, the gentle patience in her voice, I felt something shift inside me. Something that my wolf sniffed at, smelled, and immediately growled over.
“Is she the one from that night?” the wolf demanded, its voice low, dark, curling through the edges of my mind.
I shook my head, a muscle in my jaw twitching. “Drogan, not now. Let me have a few seconds without turning this into chaos.”
“You can’t just stand there,” he snapped, claws scraping the corners of my thoughts. “You act like your world isn’t literally shattering right in front of you.”
I exhaled slowly, pretending to turn my attention to the parchments scattered across the desk, though my eyes never left her. She leaned over, brushing a stray lock of hair from Liam’s forehead, laughing softly at something Lily had said. The sound hit me like lightning. I hated it, but I couldn’t tear my gaze away.
“I know,” I murmured, almost inaudible. “I know what I’m feeling, but I can’t... ”
“You know,” Drogan cut in sharply, “the seer spoke for a reason. You cannot avoid this, not if you intend to keep her and those pups safe. You will spend the night with her. And not later. Not tomorrow. Now.”
I ground my teeth. “I’m not ready. I won’t be ready.”
“You will be. And fast,” the wolf hissed, undeterred by my defiance. “You feel it too. That pull you’ve denied yourself. You cannot fight what the gods have marked for you.”
I pressed my palm to my temple, closing my eyes, trying to remember the last time I felt in control. But control was gone the instant I stepped into this room. The scent of her; lavender, forest dew, a hint of something untamed clung to the air. It taunted me. I had tried to ignore it, tried to focus on border reports, the Council, the endless obligations of a Lycan King, but all of it faded the moment she bent to pick up Liam’s dropped toy.
I wanted to tell myself it was just my imagination, a trick of the mind. That maybe my wolf was playing games, trying to push me into chaos. But my own instincts whispered the truth: I had known her before. Five years ago, just one night, and yet the memory burned brighter than any battle I had fought. Her scent, her warmth, the way her eyes had locked with mine, they haunted me still sharper than any sword.
I shifted my stance, pacing slowly, trying to calm the storm inside. But my wolf was relentless. “Do you not feel it?” he asked, voice growling low and steady. “Do you not know that your soul recognizes hers?”
I froze mid-step, gripping the edge of the table. I did feel it. Every fiber of my being recognized her. And yet I wanted to deny it. I wanted to pretend she was just the wolf I was supposed to protect, nothing more. But my chest ached with the truth I refused to name.
“She’s just a wolf,” I muttered, almost to myself. “A wolf caught in a world too big for her. That’s all she is.”
“She’s more than that,” Drogan’s voice snapped, a threat and a promise all at once. “You know it. You’ve always known it. And you’ve waited long enough. The gods sent her to you for a reason.”
I slammed my fist against the table, sending scrolls and parchments tumbling to the floor. “I’m not ready! I won’t be ready for her. Not yet.”
“You have no choice,” my wolf growled, echoing the seer’s words. “You cannot deny her. You cannot deny what you’ve felt all these years.”
I pressed my forehead to the cold stone, my mind spinning.
The wolf growled low in my chest, vibrating through my bones. “The time is now. You’ve spent enough days pretending. You’ve spent enough nights in torment. You will not wait any longer.”
I clenched my fists again, slowly, painfully, letting the tension build. I knew he was right. I could feel it in my blood, in my bone, in the pull that made every breath harder to take. She was mine to protect, mine to claim, and yet the weight of the truth weighed heavily on my shoulder
Come back to who you truly are, I told myself as I stepped out of the hall, catching my reflection in the mirror. I had to return to the man I was before I would have the night with her and finish what I was destined to do.
After the party, I’ll rub on the ointment and steel myself for her. When the time comes I’ll take her even thinking about it steadies and shakes me at once.
I can do this. My father never ruled with emotion, and I will not be the first to break that rule.