Chapter 115 Deliberation

Chapter 115 Deliberation
The waiting room felt like purgatory.

It was a small conference room down the hall from the courtroom institutional beige walls, uncomfortable chairs, a table with water bottles and stale cookies that no one touched. We'd been here for three hours.

Three hours of waiting. Of pacing. Of checking phones every thirty seconds to see if there was news.

There never was.

"How long do deliberations usually take?" Mom asked for the third time.

"It varies," Richard said patiently. "Could be hours. Could be days. There's no way to predict."

"What does it mean if they come back quickly?" Adrian asked. He'd been sitting in the same chair for the past hour, barely moving.

"Generally, a quick verdict favors the prosecution. The longer they deliberate, the more it suggests disagreement which usually means some jurors have reasonable doubt."

"So if they're out for days, we lose?"

"Not necessarily. It could mean they're being thorough. Reviewing evidence carefully. But yes, extended deliberation often suggests the defense created sufficient doubt."

I stood by the window, staring out at the gray afternoon. My hand rested on my stomach where Ethan was moving little flutters that reminded me what was at stake.

"Emma, you should sit," Mom said. "You've been standing for an hour."

"I can't sit. If I sit, I'll start thinking about what happens if" I stopped.

"If they acquit her," Jordan finished. She was the only one who'd actually say it. "Emma, we need to talk about that possibility. What you'll do if Patricia walks."

"We increase security," Adrian said immediately. "Hire more guards. Maybe move. Change our routines. Make it harder for her to"

"To try again," I finished. "That's what you were going to say. Harder for her to try again."

The room fell silent.

"Do you really think she would?" Mom asked quietly. "If she's acquitted, wouldn't she just leave you alone? Wouldn't she be satisfied that she got away with it?"

"No," Adrian and I said simultaneously.

"Patricia doesn't want to get away with it," Adrian continued. "She wants me to suffer. She wants revenge. If she's acquitted, she'll see it as vindication. As proof that she was right that she can do whatever she wants to hurt me and face no consequences."

"We could get a restraining order," Richard suggested. "After an acquittal, we'd file immediately. She wouldn't be allowed within five hundred feet of any of you."

"And if she violates it?" I asked. "We call the police? Wait for them to arrive while Patricia what? Attacks us? Tries to kidnap Lily? Hurts Ethan?"

"Emma"

"No. I'm tired of pretending a piece of paper will keep us safe." I turned from the window. "If Patricia walks, if the jury lets her go free, we have to be prepared to protect ourselves. Really protect ourselves. Not just hope the system will save us next time."

Adrian stood, came to me. "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying we do whatever it takes. Whatever we have to do to keep Lily and Ethan safe. I'm saying" I looked at everyone in the room. "I'm saying if Patricia comes after us again, we don't wait for the police. We don't rely on restraining orders. We handle it ourselves."

"Emma, that's" Mom looked shocked. "You're talking about"

"I'm talking about survival. About protecting my children." My voice was steady, cold. "I almost died, Mom. I spent sixteen hours thinking I'd never see Adrian or Lily again. Thinking Ethan would die before he was ever born. And if the jury says Patricia can walk free after ordering that then the system has failed us. And we have to take care of ourselves."

Jordan was nodding. "She's right. If Patricia is acquitted and comes after them again, they have every right to defend themselves. By any means necessary."

"That's vigilante justice," Richard said carefully. "That's "

"That's survival," Adrian said. "And Richard, I need you to understand: if it comes down to Patricia or my family, I choose my family. Every time. Whatever the cost."

Richard looked at both of us, his expression troubled. "I'm your lawyer. I can't advise you to"

"Then don't advise us. Just understand: we'll do what we have to do."

The room fell into tense silence.

At 5 PM, the bailiff came to the door.

"Any news?" Adrian asked immediately.

"No verdict yet. The jury's requested to break for the evening. They'll resume deliberations tomorrow morning at 9 AM."

My heart sank. "They're stopping? They haven't reached a decision?"

"The judge allows them to go home after a full day of deliberation, especially in complex cases. They'll come back fresh tomorrow."

After the bailiff left, Richard said, "This isn't necessarily bad. They've only been deliberating for four hours. That's not unusual for a case of this magnitude."

"But they haven't reached a decision," I said. "That means there's disagreement. That means some of them believe Patricia."

"Or it means they're being thorough. Emma, try not to read too much into the timing."

But I couldn't help it. Every hour that passed, every moment they deliberated, felt like a loss. Like Patricia's lies were working.

That evening at home, I couldn't settle. Couldn't eat, couldn't watch TV, couldn't focus on anything except the jury deliberating.

Twelve people in a room, deciding our fate.

Did they believe me? Did they believe Helen? Or did they believe Patricia's performance the grieving stepmother who said angry things but would never actually hurt anyone?

"Mama, why are you sad?"

I looked up. Lily stood in her pajamas, Peanuts tucked under her arm.

"I'm not sad, baby. Just thinking."

"About the trial?"

"Yes."

"Did the judge decide yet? Is the bad lady going to jail?"

"Not yet. The jury the people who decide they're still thinking about it. They'll tell us tomorrow."

Lily climbed onto the couch beside me. "What if they say she doesn't have to go to jail?"

The question I'd been avoiding. How do you explain to a seven-year-old that sometimes bad people get away with bad things?

"Then we'll be very careful. We'll have lots of people keeping us safe. And we'll figure it out."

"But you're scared."

"Yes. I'm scared."

"Me too." Lily leaned against me. "I don't want the bad lady to come back. I don't want her to hurt you again."

"She won't, baby. I promise. We won't let that happen."

"How do you know?"

"Because your daddy and I will do whatever it takes to protect you and Ethan. Whatever it takes."

Lily seemed satisfied with that. She snuggled closer, and within minutes she was asleep.

I sat there holding her, thinking about the promise I'd just made.

Whatever it takes.

I meant it. If Patricia walked free, if she came after my family again I would stop her. However I had to.

The woman who'd been working three jobs and desperately trying
to save her mother felt like someone else. Someone softer. Someone who still believed the system would protect her.

I knew better now.