UMBRAS

UMBRAS


I squeezed at the chunk. The blood squelched, dripping between my fingers and spreading down my forearm drip drop drip into the snow below. My knees were starting to cramp from crouching for too long and though being around the fire helped to ease the cold, I could still feel it struggling to seep into my innards. 

Sharing a look with Mariamme, I lifted the chunk to my mouth. I hesitated for a moment, staring down at the blood-soaked chunk of meat in my hand. The rich, dark crimson coated my fingers, dripping between them in a slow, steady stream. With a deep breath, I pushed aside my doubts and slowly brought it to my mouth. 

As my tongue brushed against the warm, wet flesh, a strange, raw, metallic taste exploded across my taste buds. It was rich—earthy, almost primal—and my stomach churned, not with disgust but with an unfamiliar hunger, one I couldn't name. The blood slid down my throat in thick, viscous waves, and I gagged slightly, but there was something about it that felt strangely... right. My body seemed to respond instinctively, as if it had been waiting for this moment.

Before I could take another bite, something shifted within me. The present melted away, replaced by a wave of sensations and images that weren’t my own but felt all too real.

I was small—no, tiny—crouched on the cold, hard ground. My fingers, trembling and smeared with blood, clutched at the fur of a half-eaten rabbit. Its lifeless body sagged in my grasp, blood dripping down my chin in slow, steady streams, staining the icy floor beneath me. The cold was unbearable, biting into my bones, but I hardly noticed, too consumed by the gnawing hunger that had driven me to chew into an animal. My tiny hands stretched again, fumbling with the rabbit’s limp form as I tore another piece of flesh with teeth that felt sharper, more feral. The warmth of the blood was the only comfort in the cold air. 

I swallowed every drop of blood, every piece of meat that I chewed into liquid before gulping down my throat. 

Then a sound tore through the forest. My head snapped up, my blood-smeared face lifting toward the dark shadows of the forest. A massive figure emerged, a werewolf with grey eyes that gleamed through the dark. Its form was monstrous, the kind of size that made the earth seem smaller beneath it. It loomed closer with every heavy step, its growl vibrating in the air, each sound petrifying me. 

My tiny hands fumbled with the rabbit, dropping it as I scrambled backward. Just as its towering shadow fell over me, a voice—familiar and loud—cut through the vision.

“Feyre!” Mariamme’s voice jolted me back to reality.

I gasped, the warmth of the chunk of antelope meat still in my hand, the fire’s glow steady around us, still crackling. My breath came in quick, shallow bursts as I blinked, taking in my surroundings. The taste of blood lingered on my tongue, no longer unfamiliar but now loaded with the weight of what I’d seen—or remembered.

Mariamme’s brows furrowed. “You okay, pup? You zoned out for a second there.”

I swallowed hard, forcing myself to focus. “I—I’m fine,” I lied, my voice shaky. “Just… not used to this.”

Mariamme studied me for a moment, her gaze piercing, but she nodded. “Takes getting used to. First time’s always the hardest.”

I nodded numbly, my fingers flexing around the meat, the memory—or was it a fragment of the past?—still echoing in my mind. The towering werewolf, the rabbit, the hunger. I couldn’t shake the feeling that I’d just glimpsed a piece of myself I wasn’t supposed to see.

As the boys' laughter echoed in the distance, I tore off a piece of the meat and bit down, chewing aggressively. 

I was sure I had just seen my father's wolf. But; when was that?

Through the night, I tossed and turned in bed, unable to get a shut eye. My heart kept thudding in my chest and despite the fact that snow was falling once again, covering the floor in sheets and the wind howled against the window, I was bathed in sweat, incredibly hot, the sheets twisting around my waist. 

My mind kept darting back to the images I’d seen in my head while I ate the meat. I was small, most likely three or four, and the way I’d ripped off the rabbit limb by limb petrified me. I

Like every other night, shadows danced against the window. As if showing off a new choreography. They weren’t just black blurs. They spread against the pane, a little of blue, red and black swirls, like tiny humans distorting into the air. They were intriguing and now that I knew what they were—the umbra guardians as Mariamme had told me—I wanted to know more about them. 

They looked oddly familiar, like I’d come across them before I even stepped foot into Eldidra but I couldn’t exactly place where.

I sat up in bed with a sigh, tugging the duvet off me as I got out of it, trying to move cautiously to avoid waking Mariamme up with the creak of the bed frame. 

I wandered through the empty living room, fire was crackling in the corner. Mariamme had put it on before heading to bed, trying to heat up the house for my sake. I didn’t think that was important anymore, sweat raced down my temples and forehead from my restlessness. Unusual because I had been a shuddering mess several hours ago. 

Tiptoeing, I reached the door and twisted the keys as slowly as I could. It gave way with a click and I stepped outside, gently closing the door behind me. 

Exhaling deeply, I basked in the cool air, stretching the entire length of my body. I wanted to see the umbras, so I stepped off the porch, my bare feet sinking into the numbing cold of the snow as I walked around the house to where my room window was located, since that was where they like forming in groups together. 

Rounding the corner of the house, I paused at the edge of the wall, peering cautiously toward my bedroom window. The umbras, as if sensing my presence, froze mid-swirl. They turned—if such a thing was possible—and their gentle, glowing hues shifted, their lights pulsing softly like a heartbeat.

My breath hitched. They were breathtaking.

Slowly, I stepped into view, the snow crunching softly beneath my feet. The umbras hesitated for only a moment before surging forward, a mass of intertwining lights and shapes. Up close, they resembled little scribbles of color—like children’s drawings come to life—each one unique, their forms shifting and merging as they approached.

I broke into a smile as they surrounded me, colorful swirls, their lights glowing against my face, against my skin. “Beautiful.” I whispered, my voice hoarse, spreading my arms out so they could perch their weightless forms against me. “You all are beautiful.”

They merged into one color, and then swirled around me, causing me to spin in sync to their playfulness, giggling as I did so. I had never seen one of these back at Wysteria. And though I hadn’t explored the cities of Eldrida as I’d liked, there was a far stretch between how things were done. Here seemed more magical, like a place I’d see out of a disney movie. Though Wysteria also had mountains, and fountains, I had lived in my father’s house, the late Blackoak alpha my entire life prohibited me from exploring because I was the girl without the wolf. But here… here, there was no restraint. 

Here I was spinning in the snow, my legs sunk deep, numb with cold, giggling like a child, umbras surrounding me in swirls. 

And then suddenly, I heard the sound of snow crunch in the distance. I stopped, a gasp escaping my lips as I strained to listen for me steps. From the distance, a figure appeared, tall, muscular, eyes trained on me.

Before I could even move, they had already closed in the distance between me.