Chapter 20 A little break
Asher was waiting by the fountain, his jacket half-zipped, hair sticking up like he’d been running. He looked relieved and tired. She didn’t want to see him, not now, not when her head was full of ghosts.
She turned away.
“Hey,” he said, jogging after her. “Come on, we can’t keep doing this.”
“You think I care what you think?” Her voice came out sharper than she meant. “You’ve made it clear whose side you’re on.”
“I’m trying to help you,” he said quietly.
“By defending him?” She turned to face him. “By pretending you don’t see what’s happening?”
His jaw tightened. “You don’t know Beckett like I do.”
“No, I don’t,” she said. “I just know he’s everywhere Serena used to be. And now” she swallowed hard, “now I find photos of him in my room.”
Asher stared. “That’s impossible.”
“You think I’m lying?”
“I think you’re scared,” he said. “And Mercer’s using that.”
Her hands curled into fists. “Don’t…don’t talk about him like that.”
“Lila, you’re trusting the wrong person,” Asher said, voice low and desperate. “Mercer’s not who you think he is.”
She laughed. “Right. And Beckett’s an angel.”
The silence between them stretched.
For a moment, she almost wanted to take it back to tell him she was sorry, that she didn’t mean it. But the thought of those photos silenced everything.
“I can’t do this,” she whispered, turning away. “Not with you.”
He didn’t follow her, he just stood there and watched her until she was out of sight..
The hallway outside her dorm felt heavier than usual when she got to her dorm.
Every creak of the floorboard made her flinch. The scent of roses still lingered faintly, even though she’d thrown away every flower she’d ever received.
She dropped her bag on the bed and sat for a long time, staring at the blank wall. Her breathing sounded too loud in the quiet.
Maybe she should leave. Just for the weekend. Clear her head.Her mother would probably welcome it, she’d been begging Lila to come home for weeks. Maybe home still meant safety.
She started packing. A few shirts. Her camera. Serena’s old notebook, still tucked in the drawer where she’d kept it since the funeral. She didn’t look at the cover, she couldn’t. She zipped the duffel bag shut and sat on the edge of the bed.
A strange stillness settled over the room.
For the first time all day, there was no noise. No voices from the hallway, no footsteps overhead. Just silence.
She took a deep breath.
Something brushed her wrist.
She froze.
Her gaze dropped slowly to the pillow beside her. She found a single red rose lay there, petals open and perfect. Its stem was wet, tiny droplets sliding down like beads of blood onto the white sheet.
Her heart stuttered. She hadn’t left it there. She hadn’t left anything there. Suddenly, the air smelled faintly of sweet and dark chocolate.
Her throat went dry.
Someone had been here.
She rose to her feet slowly, backing away from the bed. The floor creaked under her heel. The rose trembled just slightly as if someone had placed it there seconds ago, still warm from their touch.
Lila’s breath caught. She turned toward the door.
It was still locked.
The rose quivered again, its stem slipping off the pillow. A single petal drifted down, landing where she’d been sitting moments before as if the room itself was exhaling.
Lila rushed outside the room with her bag, she was sure she was beginning to hallucinate things and going home would be the best thing to do.
The bus windows were fogged, and the sky outside was the same color as ash.
Lila kept her bag on her lap, one hand gripping the strap so tight her knuckles turned white. She hadn’t told anyone she was leaving, not Asher, not Roy, not even Mercer, her college father. She didn’t want to explain,she didn’t want to be talked out of it. She just needed space, breathing space, far away from the campus chaos.
The ride was long and still. Students got off at smaller towns, laughing, dragging suitcases behind them. Eventually, it was just her and the old driver humming under his breath, the wipers squeaking like whispers across glass.
The further she got from Halden University, the more she tried to convince herself she could breathe again. That whatever haunted her room, her camera, her thoughts, she had left behind.
But even as the trees blurred past and the landscape opened, her pulse didn’t slow. It only shifted from panic to dread.
She took out Serena’s notebook. The pages smelled faintly of old paper and rain. Inside, her sister’s handwriting looped across the lines, neatly, and careful. The kind of handwriting that looked like it was afraid to spill secrets.
“He’s so kind.He says I have the kind of face people remember.”
Lila closed the book. Her stomach churned. She pressed her forehead against the cold glass. She didn’t want to think about who he was anymore. She didn't want to think about the situation at school anymore, she was going home to rest. She enjoyed the wind against her face as she looked at the landscape.
Her mother’s house looked smaller than she remembered. The porch light was still broken. The rose bushes in the front yard were dry and brittle. She stood on the step for a moment, the weight of the duffel pulling at her shoulder, before knocking twice.
The door opened almost instantly.
“Lila?” Her mother’s voice cracked halfway through her name. She pulled her in so fast Lila barely had time to drop her bag.
“Mom, I’m fine.”
“You didn’t even tell me you were coming!” She cupped Lila’s face with trembling hands. Her mother looked older with new lines under her eyes, and worry deepened. “You look pale. Have you been eating? You look.”
“Mom.” Lila forced a smile. “I just needed a break. That’s all.”
Her mother exhaled shakily, but the relief in her eyes didn’t fade. “Good. You should’ve come sooner.”
Inside, the house smelled like vanilla candles and detergent. The kind of clean that came from anxiety, not peace.Every surface was spotless. Every light was on.
“Are you still working nights?” Lila asked as she dropped her bag by the stairs.
“Just weekends now.” Her mother brushed imaginary dust off the counter. “I couldn’t keep doing full shifts. Not after…” Her voice trailed off.
Neither of them said Serena’s name.
Dinner was quiet. They ate in the living room, the TV flickering with low news reports. Lila picked at her food, eyes fixed on the scrolling headlines, there was nothing about Halden. Nothing about another death.
For a moment, she let herself breathe.
“You’re still not sleeping, are you?” her mother asked softly.
Lila looked up. “Why would you say that?”
“You have the same look Serena had. Before she..”Her mother stopped. The silence that followed was unbearable. "I just don’t want to lose you too,” she whispered.
Lila’s throat ached. She stood up suddenly, carrying her plate to the sink. “You won’t.”
Her mother smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “Promise me you’ll transfer. After the semester. Please.”
“I’ll think about it.”
It was a lie. She couldn’t leave until she knew who killed Serena. Until she knew why.