"Mommy, can you please divorce Daddy?"
It was 9:00 pm, and I was trying to get my son to sleep. Just when I thought he was drifting off, he suddenly asked me that.
That one sentence hit me like a ton of bricks, leaving me momentarily stunned. My hand froze on his back. A sharp pain pricked at my heart.
Over the years, my relationship with his father had been pretty good. By all accounts, a child nurtured with love should feel happy living in such an environment. So, how could he have such a thought? I couldn't wrap my head around it, so I asked, "Why do you say that?" I tried to keep my voice gentle, afraid of scaring him.
"You never let me eat fast food or ice cream."
He was nearly falling asleep. His voice slurred and was laced with the innocence typical of his age. It left me feeling both amused and exasperated.
He wanted me to divorce his father over trivial things like this? Kids really were naive.
As I listened to his breathing slow and steady, I knew he had fallen asleep.
Just as I was about to get up and leave, a notification sound came from his bedside. I turned back and saw light from under his pillow.
After lifting the corner of the pillow, I spotted a tablet hidden underneath and couldn't help but sigh.
My son was still young, and I was worried about his eyesight, so I had set strict limits on his screen time.
Though he often grumbled about it, he had always followed my rules. But tonight, he had secretly stashed the tablet away.
As I pulled it out and prepared to shut it down, I was caught off guard by the bright screen displaying a group chat.
The group was named "Happy Family" with a smiling emoji. It was clearly named in my son's playful tone, as that was his favorite emoji. The group avatar looked like a family portrait with four people. I zoomed in on the photo and saw a cheerful woman cradling two children.
One of them was my son, Zachary Pelham. He held a giant ice cream cone, beaming with joy. And behind her stood my husband, Steven Pelham.
His gaze at the woman was so tender. It was the same way he used to look at me when we first started dating.
My heart felt like it was being pierced with a needle. A wave of uncontrollable pain washed over me. Yet, my eyes couldn't help but fall on the woman's name.
The contact name Zachary had given her was "Mommy".
I felt as if I'd been struck by lightning. Trembling, I clicked on her profile. To my shock, her nickname read, "Jessica".
Jessica... Steven's first love, Jessica Shardlow?
In an instant, I felt a surreal absurdity wash over me, as if I were dreaming.
My husband and son had formed a family group chat with his first love. And I was the only one left behind. They had built a new home together.
It felt as though someone had a vice grip on my heart, making it almost impossible to breathe.
The group chat was filled with messages. They overwhelmed my mind as my fingers numbly scrolled up.
In fact, the three of us had our own family group chat. But apart from me occasionally asking Steven when he'd be home for dinner, it was as silent as a ghost town. Suddenly, "Mommy" in the group sent a video.
My hands shook as I clicked it open. The video was clearly meticulously edited.
The one-minute video flashed through countless moments-fried chicken, Coke, a Ferris wheel, a carousel, and many more.
Zachary's face was all smiles, radiating pure joy. Even Steven, who usually hid his emotions, couldn't conceal his indulgence and affection.
I barely had the capacity to focus on the other two people because the video gradually slowed down and eventually stopped on Zachary's face.
He was squeezing his eyes shut with his hands clasped tight while earnestly making a wish in front of a big cake.
I heard his innocent, heartfelt voice. "I hope Ms. Jessie becomes my mommy. I hope Daddy, Ms. Jessie, Cody, and I can be together forever!" Applause erupted.
Jessica and her child, Cody Gibson, clapped together, wishing for his dreams to come true. And Steven, too, had a smile on his face.
They looked just like a happy, perfect family.
What about me? I was in so much pain I could barely breathe.
Just then, "Mommy" in the group sent a voice message. Her voice was lively and cheerful, like that of a supportive older sister who was always on Zachary's side.
"Sweetie, you told me you wanted me to be your mom. And you said anyone will do, just as long as it's not your current one. I was wondering why you seemed to dislike your mom so much.
"I only found out it's because she's too controlling. She never lets you eat or play with what you want. To help you grow up happy, I'll be your new mommy in this group chat from now on. This place will be the home for the four of us." Did Zachary really say that? Anyone would do, as long as I wasn't his mom?
I tortured myself by listening to it over and over again, but I still couldn't believe it. The child I gave birth to the one I poured all my energy into raising-could actually dislike me this much.
I shut my eyes. Tears streamed down my face uncontrollably.
Zachary had always had a sensitive stomach. Even a little bit of the wrong food could lead to a stomachache. He had been hospitalized a few times as a toddler due to gastroenteritis.
That was why I had been so careful about his diet. I meticulously prepared balanced meals every day, hoping to improve his health. But all my efforts for him had somehow turned into instances of me hurting him in his eyes.
No wonder Zachary's gastroenteritis flared up again recently.
I was frantic, but I couldn't find the reason. So this was the truth.
I numbly listened to the voice messages Zachary had sent earlier. Every single one of his accusations felt like a sharp knife stabbing into my heart, leaving me gasping for air.
Then, Zachary suddenly stopped sending anything. I knew it was because I had come to his room to put him to sleep.
He couldn't let me know he was secretly using the tablet. He had to comply with me, even if he wanted to continue chatting with Jessica in the group chat.
And now, he was fast asleep.
I bit my lip, tears streaming down my face as I looked at him.
He looked so perfect, like a doll. He spoke with such innocence, saying whatever he felt without a second thought.
But...
Lies didn't hurt. The truth did.
I always believed that he might find me strict for now. But he would eventually understand that I was only trying to do what was best for him as his mother. Yet I never imagined he could come to hate me this much. A wave of heartbreak and anger swept through me.
But I hadn't lost my grip on reality. I knew Zachary was still just a child. He was like a blank slate. He didn't know or understand anything.
His strong dislike for me and affection for Jessica could only stem from Steven.