Chapter 95 Beyond Choice
Amara’s POV
Everything around me seemed to be silent. Too silent. I seemed to be stuck between the end of the world and a dream as I drifted weightlessly in glittering light. My body was pain-free. My side wound had healed.
"Where am I, exactly?" I said. My voice reverberated, little and quiet.
In front of me, a gentle glimmer flickered. It slowly came into being, towering and elegant, with eyes full of unending peace and hair like streaming moonlight. I let out a gasp.
"The Goddess of the Moon," I inhaled.
Her smile was soft but strong. "Yes, youngster. You've traveled a greater distance than most. You have donated your heart, soul, and blood. It's time to relax now.
My heart skipped a beat. "Sleep? You mean death?
Her hand glowed silver as she raised her hand. "Not demise. Calm. Peace for all eternity. Amara, you've had enough fighting. Allow me to alleviate your suffering. Allow me to take the load off you.
Her comments calmed me for a while. The idea that there won't be any more conflicts, bloodshed, or dread. It had a nearly sweet sound. I closed my eyes, envisioning it.
But suddenly Rowan’s face flashed in my head. His desperate eyes when he embraced me. His voice is shouting my name. Kian pleaded with the healer to save me, his hands trembling. The fear, the hope, the cries of my people.
Tears came. "But what will happen to them if I leave?"
"They will persevere," the Goddess said quietly. "Everything always manages to find a way. More than anyone should have contributed, you have already done. Do not tie yourself to unending misery. Come. Be at peace with me.”"
Her arms stretched out, an embrace of light. It was longing, not pain, that made my chest hurt. I wanted to sink into that warmth and lie there forever.
"Are they going to forget me?" I shook as I asked.
She gave a headshake. "Their songs will remember you." Legends will murmur your name. The girl who carried the fire of the Moon.
Legend. Memory. But not life. Not laughter. Not the touch of their hands or the chance to see them smile again.
My throat constricted. ""I don't... I'm not sure if I can.
Her tone was gentle and patient. Then give it some serious thought. You can't go back once you make up your mind. Your troubles will end if you stay. Your agony will increase if you return. Which way are you going to go, Moonchild?
Her words encircled me like silk chains, both gentle and weighty. Doubt whirled through my head. Rest was like a song calling to me. But there was still a powerful tug of life in my chest—messy, terrible, but full of love.
I was torn between two worlds as I looked at her. I opened my mouth. My decision was on the verge of being made.
And I said, “I… I…”
The waiting light pulsed.
I felt my chest heave. I balled my hands into fists. "No!" I burst into tears. The gleaming emptiness echoed with my words. "I refuse! I refuse to abandon them!
Calm as the tides, the Goddess cocked her head. "Why? You deserve to relax. Why pick pain?""
"Because I'm needed by them!" My voice cracked. "I am needed by Rowan. I'm needed by Kian. They're still fighting and bleeding, my people! How could I sleep soundly while they were in pain? I am unable to! I refuse to!"
As if anticipating this response, her eyes softened. However, she remained silent.
Hot, steaming tears ran down my cheeks. “I have been weak before. I have been broken. But I rose, again, because of them. I won't leave them now! Can you hear me? I refuse to!
My cry shook the emptiness. It stung how loudly my heart thundered in my chest.
The Moon Goddess took a step forward. Infinite and divine, her presence crushed against me. She extended one luminous finger and touched my chin. "Amara, your spirit shines brighter than most."
I screamed and shuddered. Then return to me. Please. Keep me from fading. I still have the will to fight. Love is still something I can give.
She smiled for the first time, a proud smile, not just a soft one. Her silver eyes were as bright as the full moon.
Then, she said, "Live." Her voice sounded simultaneously like song and thunder. "Live and carry the load you have selected." But be aware of this, kid. Weight comes with life. Shadows accompany light. The road won't be pleasant.
"I don't give a damn!" I yelled as I wiped away my tears with trembling hands. "I'll carry anything as long as I can stand by their side and keep them safe!"
The hand of the Goddess touched my chest. I felt a flash of silver fire that simultaneously filled me with searing light, pain, and strength. With a gasp, I arched back.
"So it will be," she said.
Around me, the emptiness broke like glass. The glittering light split into pieces. Back toward the world, toward suffering, toward love, I fell.
Her voice, which was quiet, eerie, and full of promise, was the last thing I heard:
"Amara, live. But remember… every gift has its price.”
The world then darkened once again.