Chapter 84 Heartbreak
Amara’s POV
Tears were streaming down my face when I woke up. I was initially unsure of the reason. Then, however, the ghosts' recollection reappeared. The Council of Spirits. Their voices were harsh. Their icy remarks. Lose all the bonds or just one.
The weight of the moon itself seemed to be pressing down on my chest.
"Amara." Kian's voice was quiet. He was seated next to my bed when I looked around. Warm and steady, his hand lay over mine. His amber eyes were filled with anxiety. "You cried while you slept. I—I couldn't abandon you.
I tried to stop the sob from rising in my throat by biting my lip. "I saw the spirits again. I didn't want to hear what they told me.
He scowled. "What were they saying?"
I gave a headshake. "It is irrelevant. I am the only one who can bear it.
Kian, however, was not duped. He squeezed my hand as he drew in closer. "Amara, you don't have to ignore me. You don't have to. We'll deal with whatever they said collectively.
I really wanted to believe him. His tone was soft, like a salve for my inner pain. However, the Council's remarks were more audible. You can't have both. You will be torn apart by the strength.
I shut my eyes. "Don't you see, Kian? That is the issue. You have consistently supported and shielded me. Rowan is also the same. I am unable to hold both bonds. The spirits will force me to make a decision.
Quiet. He tried not to show it, but his breath caught. “So… you’re saying you have to choose between me and Rowan?” he finally said quietly.
"Yes." My voice broke. And I detest it. I really detest it.
Kian managed a tiny smile despite the pain twisting his face. "Select him if it comes to that."
My heart clenched. "Avoid saying that."
"That is the truth," he stated resolutely. "You've loved him for a longer time. Even though you tried to hide it, I knew. I simply reasoned that perhaps there was room for me as well. However, I would rather move aside than watch you break if the decision destroys you.
My tears came more quickly. "Kian, don't do this to me. Please. Don't make it seem so simple.
His thumb brushed my cheek as he extended his hand. "I'm not making things simple. I'm enabling it to survive.
I was devastated by that. I gripped the blanket tightly as I withdrew. Then leave. Please. Before I say something I can't take back, just leave.
I could see the conflict in his eyes as his jaw tensed. Then he stood slowly, moving heavily, as though every step cost him something. "If you desire that."
I shook and curled into myself as the door shut behind him. It was chilly in the room. empty. And even as I made myself let him go, my heart cried out his name.
I dragged myself out the next morning. Still recovering from the fight with Lilith's creatures, the camp remained peaceful. Warriors were sharpening blades, repairing fortifications, and transporting supplies. But Rowan was all I saw.
He swung his sword in heavy arcs while standing by the training area with his broad back turned. His body was drenched in sweat, and every blow reverberated with rage.
I called softly, "Rowan."
He turned after he froze in mid-swing. As soon as his storm-gray eyes met mine, they became softer. "Amara."
My attempt at a smile was unsuccessful. The closer I got, the tighter my chest got. "I wanted to see how you were doing."
His voice sounded raspy, but he responded, "I'm fine." He studied me while lowering his sword. But you don't appear to be doing well. What took place?
"I..." My throat shut. How could I be honest with him? That the ghosts insisted that I sever one of the ties holding me to life? That Kian's heart will be permanently destroyed by choosing him?
Rowan moved in closer, removing a lock of hair from my face. "You don't need to keep anything from me." You never did.
His tender touch nearly forced me to tell everything. To express my fear to him, I wanted to collapse into his arms. However, I saw Kian's face, his shattered smile, and his hushed words. Select him.
I swiftly retreated. "I simply had to see you. to be assured of your safety.
He knitted his brows. "Amara—"
A voice interrupted him before he could question me further. "Rowan! At the west barricade, we need you!
He looked at me for a long moment, then turned away. He firmly stated, "We'll talk later." "Make me a promise."
Despite my heart screaming, I gave a feeble nod.
Later. Later, always.
A cliffhanger
Later that night, I went back to my room. It wasn't empty, though.
Kian was standing there packing a tiny bag with his back to me. His sword rested slung across his back, and his cloak was laid neatly on the chair.
"Kian?" My voice faltered.
He avoided looking at me. "Amara, I can't stay here. Not when I'm constantly reminded of what I'll never have by Rowan. Not when you've already been selected by the spirits.
I grabbed his arm and hurried forward. "Don't do this, please. Please.
When he turned at last, I could see the agony burning in his amber eyes. "Amara, you are loved." Enough to go if doing so will ensure your survival. I don't need this set. I'm not necessary for Rowan. However, you His voice broke. "You must get rid of me."
My knees became weak. I opened my mouth to plead with him to stay, but the words stayed.
Without saying anything further, Kian moved by me and headed for the door.
My heart felt like it was breaking in two at the sound of it opening.
Kian would never return to Obsidian Pack.