Chapter 77 The Confessions
Amara’s POV
Aside from the gentle crackle of the fire, the night was silent. I sat by myself, attempting to control my breathing with shaking hands. I looked up as Rowan's shadow touched me. His eyes were filled with secrets, and his face was pallid.
"Amara," he said quietly, almost beggingly, "I can no longer keep this inside." "The truth is something you deserve."
I took a deep breath. "What is the truth?"
He moved in closer, lowering himself to meet my eyes. He grabbed for mine with trembling hands, but I resisted out of fear for his words.
"Lilith... she made me form a bond." His voice broke. "Love wasn't involved. I didn't choose it. It was control, magic, and chains. She twisted everything till I felt like I was drowning, despite my daily efforts to fight it."
My chest tightened with every breath. My heart was racing as I looked at him. "Why didn't you tell me earlier, Ryan?"
He yelled, "Because I was ashamed!" before rapidly lowering his voice. "I didn't want to come across as weak to you. I didn't want you to believe that I was hers."
"But all this time, I thought you were hiding something worse," I said, my eyes welling with tears. "That you desired her."
He shook his head so forcefully that it appeared to hurt. "No! Never. My heart has always belonged to you. I kept you in mind even when she tried to take advantage of me, and her bond tugged at me. I desired you."
My chest ached from what he said. In these, I sensed the unvarnished truth. He was telling the truth. He was pleading.
With a broken voice, Rowan said, "Amara, I need you to understand." "I love you, but unless you know, I can't bear this any longer. I want you to pick me. Freely. I fight for you, not because I'm strong, but because you want me."
Every line of agony and every glimmer of hope were visible as the firelight flashed over his face. Now he desperately clutched my hands.
"Speak to me," he said. "State that you still desire me."
I looked at him, my mouth quivering. I wanted to respond. To dispel any doubt, I longed to collapse into his arms. However, another voice, Kian's face, his devotion, and his silent strength—said inside of me.
"I... I'm not sure, Rowan," I answered at last, my voice cracking. "I'm not sure what my heart should do."
Despite his face crumpling, he held on to me. He leaned forward instead, pressing his forehead into mine.
Then he said, "I'll wait." "I'll wait even if it means my death. Just swear to me that you won't give up on us."
Tears streamed down my cheeks as I closed my eyes. I didn't know how much longer I could bear the weight of my heart being split in two.
Later that evening, I sat outdoors in the moonlight, attempting to calm my racing heart. The air was keen, and the grass felt cold under me. Before I heard footsteps, I believed I was alone.
"Amara," Kian said quietly.
I turned and wiped away my tears. "Please, don't right now."
He did not, however, depart. His eyes were dark with something heavy as he approached. He knelt next to me and said quietly, "I felt it," after a few periods of silence. The connection. When Lilith attempted to claim Rowan, I felt it snap.
I jerked my head in his direction. "You felt it?"
Slowly, he nodded. Indeed. And I was almost ruined by it. Since I believed I would lose you forever. That you would be his property. He tightened his jaw. However, even at that point, when I felt like I had nothing left... For you, I knew I would die.
My breath was unsteady, and my lips parted. "Kian."
He firmly and firmly took hold of my hand. "You're not getting it. Amara, I don't have to own you. You don't need to be under my authority. All I have to do is keep you safe. I'll stand between you and death if that's what it takes. With pleasure.
My eyes were scorched by tears. His words went through my chest like a dagger. "Why are you just now telling me this?"
He stated plainly, "Because we might not have tomorrow." "The last conflict is approaching. And even if you never choose me, I need you to know that I love you and always will, even if I die."
I put my hands over my face and cried softly. "Why are you two acting in this way? When everything is already broken, why are you forcing me to decide?"
Kian softly withdrew my hands, making me turn to face him. His eyes were filled with fire and pain. "Because Amara, your heart matters." You are important. And I won't regret telling you, even if I lose you to him.
I sobbed more as I shook my head. I had the sensation that my chest was opening. "Please stop. This is too much for me to handle.
His forehead nearly touched mine as he leaned in closer. "Remember this, Amara: I would sacrifice my life for you. Without holding back."
I started crying loudly. Between two truths, two loves, and two fates, my body shook.
The words finally came out of me, shattered and wounded.
"I'm not sure who to pick!" I clutched my chest and yelled.
Now standing, Rowan and Kian looked at me, their features ripped with pain. The ensuing silence hung over us all like a blade, heavy and cutting.
And I was aware that the world might end in silence before my heart could find a solution.