Chapter 69 The Promise of Kian
Amara’s POV
I hugged my knees and sat close to the dwindling fire in the cool night air. The camp was silent, but storms screamed inside my chest. I could always see Kian's broken eyes and Rowan's desperate eyes when I closed my eyes.
"Amara."
I pivoted. Kian was standing behind me, the moonlight casting shadows over his face. His broad shoulders appeared heavier than normal, as if he were bearing the weight of both my silence and the weight of battle.
"Kian." I hardly spoke above a whisper. "I—"
He raised his hand. Don't. Avoid attempting to explain. He sat across from me and grew closer. The light from the fire flickered in his eyes, giving them a sharper, darker appearance.
He went on, in a calm but icy tone, "I need to say something." "I am aware of the situation with you and Rowan. I witnessed it. I sensed it.
My heart tightened. "Kian, it's not—"
"It is." He clenched his jaw. But pay attention to me. Whether you decide to pick me, him, or no choice at all... It makes no difference. I will continue to fight. I shall continue to bleed. I will continue to keep you from dying.
The words struck me with more force than a knife. "If I—if I can't give you what you want, why would you do that?"
A sour smirk curved his lips. "Because my desires were never the focus. You were the focus: Amara, you. I knew I would dedicate my life to defending you, even if it meant breaking myself, as soon as I laid eyes on you, even if I die for it.
Tears scorched my eyes. "Please, Kian. Don't say things like that. Don't sacrifice yourself for me.
His eyes were piercing, and he leaned forward. "I'm not discarding myself. That's who I am. I was destined to fight. And I will be content when I die if my final act is to ensure that you survive to see tomorrow.
I put my hands over my face. My sobs made my chest tremble. "You seem to have given up on living for yourself already."
"Perhaps I have." With unadulterated sorrow, his voice grew low. "Because my life lost its identity somewhere along the line. It is now yours.
I gave a headshake. "No, Kian, no. Don't say that. I'm not worthy of that. I'm not worthy of you.
"Cease." He grasped my hand and withdrew it from my face. "What I give is not up to you to decide. It's my vow. My decision. And I choose to fight. For you, for this bundle. Even if you don't ever refer to me as your partner.
When I looked into his eyes, I noticed for the first time that he was filled with unwavering devotion, which was more dangerous than fury.
"Kian." My voice broke. "I'm not sure how to handle this. I'm not sure how to carry both Rowan and you.
As he stroked a lock of hair away from my face, his fingers shook a little. Then don't. Be yourself. Let me handle the rest.
I was at my breaking point. I soaked his shirt with tears as I leaned closer and pushed my forehead against his chest. He embraced me without being demanding or possessive. Be steady. Powerful.
I said, "You'll shatter me."
He whispered, "Then let me be broken." "For as long as you are alive."
There was silence between us while the fire smouldered low. However, his commitment encircled me in that quiet, like chains—painful, lovely chains from which I could never free myself.
Kian was gone in the morning. He was with the recruits in the training yard when I found him.
"Once more!" His voice broke the morning. With swift, ruthless movements, he swung his blade. "You die if you hesitate. You die if you lose attention. You will kill everyone around you if you allow fear to rule you!
With their cheeks sticky with perspiration and their swords ringing, the young wolves staggered to keep up. Kian surged like a storm among them, shoving weapons aside, adjusting positions, and yelling commands.
My heart ached as I stared into the shadows. He wasn't merely instructing them. He was getting them ready for battle, which he knew would not be won by all of them.
A youngster, panting, dropped his blade. "Alpha, I—I can't!"
Kian's eyes were blazing. "Are you unable to?" He returned the sword to him with a kick. When Lilith is tearing out your neck, tell her that. When you fail to safeguard your family, let them know that. No can't exist. Take it up. Once more!
The boy shuddered and obeyed.
Unable to remain silent, I took a step forward. "You're pushing them too hard, Kian."
Sweat trickled down his jaw as he turned to face me. His eyes were far away and icy. "Not challenging enough. They're not strong—weakness results in death.
"They're afraid," I answered quietly. "As I am, as you are.
For a heartbeat, his eyes softened, then hardened once again. "It's okay to be afraid. You stay alive because of fear. However, allowing fear to rule you? Death is that. And before the fight even begins, I refuse to let death triumph.
Under his watchful eyes, his trainees re-formed a line, shoulders squared.
"Kian," I said. "Don't let this consume you."
His eyes were impenetrable as he looked at me. "I have already."
Before I could respond, someone shouted from the camp's edge.
Scouts! Scouts are coming back!
Two bloodied wolves staggered into camp as we charged on, their eyes wild with fear.
"They're here," someone exclaimed. "Lilith's army... They have encircled us. They can be found anywhere.
Under my feet, the ground seemed to disappear.
Pale-faced, the recruits lowered their weapons.
Kian didn't recoil. His voice as firm as steel, he tightened his grasp on his blade.
"Then we fight."
But as I glanced toward the horizon, I noticed that hundreds or even thousands of shadows were moving through the trees as night fell.
My blood froze.
There would be no conflict.
It had already arrived.