Chapter 53 Differing Hearts
Amara’s POV
Before I could move closer to the door, Kian grabbed my hand. Curling around mine, his fingers trembled, clinging as if I were already vanishing.
His voice was raw as he replied, "Amara, you can't do this." "Please. Don't surrender yourself.”
I took a moment to look at him. I was unable to. Because I might shatter if I saw the anguish in his eyes.
I said, "Kian, I have to." "I've already caused the deaths of far too many people."
"That's not true," he shook his head hastily. "Whether you were present or not, this battle was inevitable. Lilith decided. Not you.”
I gently turned to look at him. Normally so confident and strong, his eyes were now filled with terror.
"She made her decision," I said. "I have to make mine now."
With both hands on my arms, he took a step forward. “After that, I decided to fight. Alongside us. Avoid caving in to her. Amara, you are more than simply a weapon. You are not an offering.”
The corners of my eyes pricked with tears. “But she will cease if I give up. For the time being, however. It will buy us time. It's time to discover her weakness. It's time to keep the others safe.”
His voice broke as he asked, "And what about you?" "What if she kills you the instant you enter her grasp? What happens if she seizes your authority and uses it against everyone you care about?”
I said, "I've seen what she can do." "I've witnessed the deaths and the dreams. I refuse to watch helplessly as she ruins everything.”
Kian tightened his jaw. His eyes were moist, but he appeared to be trying to remain composed. "If you leave, I won't make it through this."
That almost broke me.
I bowed my head. "Kian."
He wiped a tear from my eye and caressed my cheek. "You don't need to bear this burden alone. I'm present. This is where I've always been. Even before the bond breaking.”
The lump in my throat was swallowed. "You have courage. Devoted. And considerate. But because of who I am, I have already caused too much pain to too many people.”
He reached down and put his hands on mine. "Your name is Amara. Not the Priestess alone. Not just any chick with a moonmark. You are my friend.”
I winced.
That term. I used to feel comforted by it. It simply served to highlight my conflicted feelings and my doomed destiny.
At last, I responded, "I know." “But I'm not sure who I am at the moment. Or what I'm supposed to do.”
He begged, "Then let me help you figure it out." "Remain put. We would all prefer to live with you, so don't sacrifice yourself for the pack.”
Behind us, the door creaked. Despite his silence, Rowan's eyes revealed everything. He had heard it all.
I slowly withdrew my hands from Kian's.
"I apologise," I said. "But I can't stand by and watch another innocent person perish."
Then, despite my heart's cries for me to stay, I moved away from them both.
As Rowan moved nearer, his boots sounded softly on the wood floor, but his presence was as loud as unheard thunder. At first, his stance was rigid, his jaw tense, his face unreadable. Then I noticed it—the tiny flicker of agony in his eyes, the way he looked at me as though I were sliding through his fingers once more.
"Are you going to put yourself in her position?" His voice was harsh with surprise as he asked.
I took a while to respond. I was terrified that I would collapse if I looked into his eyes, so I just stared at the floor.
Finally, with a voice almost audible above a whisper, I replied, "She won't stop until she gets what she wants." "If I have to sacrifice myself to keep the rest of you safe, then—"
"No." His voice was like a whip crack. "Not."
Slowly, I lifted my head. "Rowan—"
He moved closer and remarked, "I let her take everything from me once." "My knapsack. Mom. My liberty. I will not allow her to kidnap you.”
Something in me shook at what he said. Something profound.
I said, "You don't get to decide that."
"I won't decide for you. I'm defending you!" he yelled. "Because I am aware of her intentions." “This will buy us time, don't you think?” “No. As soon as she gets her hands on you, she will kill you.”
Silent but with his arms folded, Kian took a step back. They weren't fighting for once. They were all together—fearing about me.
I looked between them. Two men who stuck by me even when I couldn't stand myself, who had both bled and battled for me. Now, though, I had the impression that I was standing on a cliff with nothing below.
I said, "I can't lose either of you."
"So don't leave," Rowan urged. Now his voice grew softer. "Amara, please. Remain. We'll figure something else out.”
My brain ached. Like a drumbeat, the mark on my chest pulsed slowly at first, then more quickly and intensely. I grabbed my side as I gasped.
"Amara?" Kian came running over to me and grabbed me before I fell.
Sharp, violent anguish swept across my skin. It seemed as though claws were tearing at my soul from the inside out.
"What's going on?" I let forth a trembling cry.
Rowan, who was kneeling next to me, said, "She's trying to pull you." "The Witch, Lilith... She's attempting to grab you.”
My chest was charred by the mark. My legs went out totally, and my vision became blurry. I felt as though the ground had disappeared beneath me, but Kian grabbed me and lifted me into his arms.
I could hardly talk, so I said quietly, "She's in my blood." "I sense her... I hear her.”
My name was yelled by both of them, but their voices were lost in the background.
I was enveloped by darkness.
The Witch's voice was the only one audible in the shadows.
In my imagination, she growled, "So brave, little Priestess." "So stupid. Are you sure you can keep them all safe?”
Thrashing in the darkness, I yelled, but there was nothing to cling to.
"I granted you authority," she added in a chilly, arrogant tone. "And because you oppose me, you are now burning."
"No," I cried. "I'm not yours."
She said, "You will be." "Because you're experiencing heartbreak." “And you won't have anyone left soon.”
I suddenly saw visions of Rowan screaming with blood on his hands and Kian lying dead in the snow. Fire. Smoke. Yells.
I was having trouble breathing. I was immobile.
Then, amid the shadows, a little light flickered. A murmur. Not hers. Another voice.
"Amara, fight her."
It was familiar and gentle. Mommy?
It said, "Remember who you are."
The shadows were filled by the greater light.
"Amara!"
Kian's voice called out to me once more.
Additionally, Rowan's shaky voice said, "Please, stay with us."
I gasped as I opened my eyes. My breath was shallow and my skin was soaked in perspiration as I lay on the council room floor.
They were both hanging over me, looking scared and pale.
"What did you observe?" Rowan brushed my hair out of my face and asked.
"I... I witnessed everything," I said. "The future. The conclusion. You both passed away.”
Kian's hand grew closer to mine. "That is not going to occur. We will not allow it.”
However, she stated... With tears streaming down my face, I whispered, "She'll kill everyone if I don't give up... if I keep fighting."
"She is attempting to frighten you," Rowan remarked. She plays that game. Keep her from winning.”
I gave them both a look.
My friends.
My heart.
The two individuals who have the power to either save me or ruin me.
And I had lost my sense of direction.
Mira hurried in, followed by council guards, and the doors sprang open.
Breathlessly, she remarked, "We heard screaming." "What took place?"
I said, "She tried to take me." "Lilith. She is within me.”
There was stillness in the room.
Unsure of what to say, everyone just stared.
Mira then came forward and touched my head tenderly. She closed her eyes and mumbled an incantation as her mouth moved silently.
They were blazing dimly when she opened them again.
Mira remarked, "She's left a deeper mark on your soul than we anticipated." "We have to take action quickly, or she will destroy you from the inside out.”
Rowan got up. "Then let's start a war."
Kian's mouth clenched. "This will come to an end. Together.”
My fingers brushed the mark on my chest as I remained on the ground.
It continued to burn. It pulsed with something else now, though.
Fear and purpose.
"She's coming," I said to myself as I closed my eyes. “But I am, too.”