Chapter 38 Tears and Truth
Amara’s POV
The night was colder than normal. As if bearing secrets, the wind rustled against the glass. I had trouble falling asleep. Not with the words still echoing in my ears from what I'd heard Rowan and Kian say.
He did not pick Lilith. He was restrained. Bound by magic.
Rowan was standing by the old well close to the training grounds when I found him. He had his head cocked toward the sky, his face glowing softly in the moonlight. He appeared disoriented. Not like a fighter. Not like a prince. A man with a load too heavy for one soul, that's all.
I moved in closer. Even though my footsteps were soft, he could still hear me.
He said, "You shouldn't be out here by yourself."
I folded my arms and said, "I could say the same to you." "We must speak."
With a sigh, Rowan turned to face me. His formerly ferocious eyes were now filled with shame.
He said, "You heard us." There was no question.
I gave a nod. "Rowan, why didn't you tell me the truth?"
He looked down. "Because your sympathy was not what I wanted."
"It's not sympathy!" To our surprise, I snapped. It's... It's truthfulness. I believed you had deceived me. I believed you picked her over me.
Rowan inhaled nervously. "I didn't. I was weak and broken when Lilith found me. She bound me to her with dark sorcery. She made me bleed from the inside every time I resisted her control, despite my best efforts to resist.
Startled, I took a step back. "You were in pain all along?"
"Yes," he said in a whisper. However, I earned it. I abandoned you. I broke away from the pack. I allowed the gloom to in.
My eyes stung with tears. "You ought to have informed me. Rowan, I've been carrying that hurt for a very long time.
He dropped to his knees and said quietly, "I know." "And for that reason, I am not worthy of you."
I looked at him while my heart pounded anguishously. It hurt more than I thought to see Rowan like this, vulnerable and shattered. I answered, "You are not undeserving." "You're simply afraid. Similar to me.
Rowan shook his head and replied, "No, Amara." "Throughout everything, you have shown courage. Even when you were treated like nothing by everyone. You held your ground. You retaliated. I allow fear to transform me into something I detest.
I got down on my knees before him. Then get into a fight. For yourself as well as for me.
His eyes glistened as he raised his head. "Will you ever pardon me?"
I remained silent for a while. I had a stormy heart. Rowan was someone I once loved. Perhaps I did. However, Kian, I didn't realise how much Kian had helped me.
“I don’t know,” I whispered honestly. "But I'm making an effort."
Rowan shook his shoulders. I saw him cry for the first time as he put his hands over his face.
He choked, "I never wanted to be this man." "Amara, I wanted to keep you safe. Not cause suffering.
I remarked, "You didn't bring everything." Lilith did. She is still out there, too.
"I'll stop her, I promise. Rowan looked at me resolutely and stated, "Even if I die doing it."
"No," I blurted out. "Avoid saying that."
"There is no other way to put things right."
A loud crack reverberated in the distance before I could argue. The sky changed. The moon started to turn an odd shade of red.
"What the heck is going on?" Heart pounding, I stood.
Rowan looked after me. His face turned white. "The moon is blood."
I felt a chill creep down my back. "What does it signify?"
Rowan’s voice was quiet. "It signifies the emergence of the Hollow Witch."
Between them, I stood motionless. I could still hear Rowan's voice in my mind.
He had declared, "I was weak." "I believed I deserved the suffering, so I allowed her to control me."
Kian was now standing in the doorway with his fists clenched hard at his sides and his eyes blazing.
He barged into the room, growling, "Are you serious right now?" "You're just standing here, and he's feeding you lies again?"
Rowan, still kneeling on the ground, turned to look at him. He said in a hushed voice, "It's not a lie." "I was honest with her. At last.
Kian continued. He strode straight up to Rowan and grabbed him by the collar to pull him to his feet. "After doing so much harm, you don't get to 'finally' tell the truth. You can no longer play the broken boy and cry.
Rowan did not defend himself. He kept his hands by his sides. "I have nothing to play."
"Stop it, Kian!" I let out a cry and hurried to put myself between them. "Please! Simply quit!
Kian was having trouble breathing. He felt rage and heartache rise and fall in his chest. He's causing you to question me once more. It's visible in your eyes.
"No!" Grasping his arm, I spoke. "This isn't what that is. I have no doubts about you.
However, I had some doubts about everything.
Rowan cast his eyes down. "I wasn't here to take her away. I needed her to understand my true identity, which is why I came here. What I allowed myself to become—the truth
Kian spat out, "You hurt her." You watched while she endured pain. You let her believe she was worthless.
Rowan's tone faltered. "I understand. And that guilt will always be with me.
Once more, tears threatened. I was holding everything in, and my throat hurt. "Please, you two... I'm not able to manage this. Not at this time.
The anger in Kian's eyes subsided a little as he turned to face me. But it was replaced by pain. "He broke you." He now wants to pretend to be the victim.
"No," Rowan said. I am aware of the victim's identity. She was the one. He gave me an almost respectful look. "I'm not worthy of pardon. I don't even anticipate hearing from you again. I simply wanted to let you know that I'm no longer hidden.
The space seemed extremely cramped. The air is too dense. With my mark still pulsing faintly, I took a step back and put a hand to my heart.
I said, "I need time." "Just a little more time."
Kian took a step back, his jaw clenched. "Amara, I gave you some time. I have exercised patience. However, I will not tolerate him deceiving you once more.
The words made Rowan wince, as if each one were a knife to his chest.
I looked between them. My friends. It split my heart in two.
I said, "I'm not sure how I feel." "I no longer know what is real."
The ground trembled abruptly.
A deep and powerful rumble rippled over the floor. Kian and Rowan both froze when I clutched the wall's edge.
"What was that?" I took a breath.
Rowan's face turned white. Turning, Kian faced the window.
The sky was crimson outside. Not with flames. However, with light.
Everything was glowing in an odd, unsettling way.
In a whisper, Rowan said, "The blood moon." "It's getting higher."
My heart thumped. "No."
Kian's look grew strained. "She is awakening."
Then we heard it.
A shout.
Not from a human. Not from a wolf.