Chapter 18 Immoral Behaviour
Amara’s POV
My wrists were on my lap as I sat on the healer's cot's edge. The mark continued to pulse like a second heartbeat, burning weakly beneath the skin.
Mira was talking to herself as she paced in front of me. The floor pounded in time with the old witch's staff.
Kian was sitting next to me, holding my back with a warm, steady hand. He remained close, seemingly able to stave off the horror that was rattling my bones, without saying anything.
Holding the spellbook tightly to his breast as if it were about to blow up, Rowan stood in the corner.
Nobody wanted to be the first to speak.
After a long period of stillness, Mira finally said, "Well? Get the thing open.”
Rowan winced. With his black hair falling over his eyes, he bowed his head and opened the book gently.
The pages splintered. The binding of the aged leather creaked. Over the parchment, symbols crawled, scrawled in rust-red ink.
The symbols that had charred my skin were the same ones.
My stomach turned over.
Mira leaned over to look at them. Her fingers passed across the page without making contact.
"Magic of blood," she said.
I took a swallow. My mouth was as parched as dust.
Kian tightened his grip on my back. "Now explain."
Rowan didn't raise his head. He spoke in a harsh, low voice. “It is the spellbook of Lilith. I discovered it concealed behind a fake panel in her room.”
He turned to a new page. A man and a woman tied by a whirling knot of symbols were drawn there.
His voice cracked as he replied, "She did a binding." "Magic of blood." She... she made me do it.”
Compelled.
Like poison, the phrase hung in the air.
I shuddered. I put my fingers into my wrist mark.
Mira gave a sour snort. “Blood magic is not new.” “Uncommon, risky, nowadays, almost no one can remember how to do it.”
Rowan's head snapped upward. There was something like desperation in his wild eyes.
"I didn't pick her," he growled. "You don't understand? She claimed me as her own.”
Kian's tone was cold. “However, you remained with her.”
Rowan scowled at him. "I was unaware. I believed it to be fate. I believed it to be my mate link. She misled me.”
Kian refused to give up. "You turned Amara away. Exiled her. Allow her to be almost slain.”
Rowan glanced in my direction.
Deities, I hoped he didn't.
Because something inside of me was broken by the way they looked.
He appeared to be broken. Uncooked.
"I was unaware," he said. "Amara, I swear on my life. Had I known—”
I winced. I balled my fingers into fists.
With a trembling voice, I answered, "You still did it."
His face twisted.
"I understand." His voice cracked. "I understand. I apologise as well. I sincerely apologise. If you'll just—" I'll try to make it right for the rest of my life."
Kian sprang up and growled, "Enough."
Rowan betrayed him. "You don't see it, do you? You desire her. She has always been your desire.”
It wasn't denied by Kian.
He steadied his hand on my shoulder and made a claim.
"I love her," was all he said.
Rowan's expression contorted. "She is my partner."
Kian's mouth tightened. "I have her now."
The words made me gasp for breath.
I thought I was having trouble breathing.
I said, "Stop." "Stop it, you two."
They disregarded me.
With a raw voice, Rowan took a step forward. "Look at me, Amara. I had to. Lilith was never my desire. You were always the one. Only you.”
Kian's hold on me became firmer.
"Avoid listening to him," he snarled. "He had his opportunity. You were thrown aside by him. He will repeat it.”
Rowan's look flickered. "I would pass away first."
Now both were panting heavily, wolves near the surface. That strange light radiated from their eyes.
My head was hammering.
"Stop," I pleaded.
Neither paid attention.
Rowan took a step ahead. Kian shoved him back, blocking him.
Rowan gave him a shove back.
With their claws half-extended and their teeth exposed, they fought in the middle of the healer's hut.
"ENOUGH!"
I sounded like thunder.
They went cold.
I was trembling all over. My mark was blazing.
My eyes welled up with tears.
"I am not a reward," I said. "I'm not a point of contention."
Rowan's expression dimmed.
Kian averted his look, his jaw clenched.
Leaning heavily on her staff, Mira sighed.
"Stupid people," she said. "You two. This is not necessary for her at this time.”
The ensuing hush was oppressive.
At last, Rowan looked at Mira. He spoke softly.
"Is it breakable?"
Mira blinked. "What?"
"The binding," he said quietly in a raspy voice. "The magic of Lilith." Is it possible to reverse it?”
Mira thought.
“It's ancient magic. Magic with blood. Unbinding it is dangerous. You would require a ritual that is more powerful than hers, and that she is obligated to.”
Rowan turned to face me.
Then it hit me.
He said, "The Priestess."
I gave a hasty shake of my head. "No."
Kian stepped closer, growling. "You dare not ask her."
Rowan didn't pay attention to him.
His voice broke as he begged, "Amara, please." "Assist me in breaking it. Get me away from her.”
I put my hands over my ears.
I choked, "I can't."
"Please!"
I closed my eyes tightly.
Mira's voice broke the craziness.
"Enough. Out. You two.”
Kian scowled. "I won't abandon her."
Mira yelled, "If you want her to live, you will."
Rowan paused. His look pierced mine.
"I will stop at nothing," he said. "Tell me how to fix this, please."
My heart twisted.
But I had nothing to say.
Mira forcefully hit the ground with the staff. The air crackled with magic.
"Out," she roared. "RIGHT NOW."
Both men winced.
Rowan's look lingered on me for a final time.
He mouthed the words, "I love you."
Kian snarled and moved his body out of my line of sight.
At last, Rowan turned and walked away.
Kian remained motionless, his hands tight and his breathing laboured.
I was unable to even look at him.
Silently, tears streamed down my cheeks.
With a quieter voice, Mira lowered her staff.
"Child," she said. "This cannot continue. You will shatter.”
I made a noise that was halfway between a giggle and a sob.
"I believe I already am" I said.
Kian softly knelt next to me. He made a move for my hand.
I gave it to him.
I didn't look at him, though.
It felt like my heart was breaking in two.
The wind roared through the trees outside.
The smell was of ash and blood.
There would be war.
And it revolved around me.
Kian's voice was low and harsh as he squeezed my hand.
"He won't take you away from me."