23. Is it jealousy that I feel?

**Ocean**

It takes me quite a while to be ready to leave the room and face the world. Most of all, I dread running into Octavius. Kieran left a few minutes ago, and I don't release my hands until I have a feeling he won't be back. To buy more time for myself, I take a shower. That's not the only reason I need the water-I need to get rid of the blush on my cheeks and the juices dripping from between my legs. Kieran has left me hanging. Not that this is the first time, but I'm going to get back at him. Sooner or later, I will.

The two brothers seem to have a somewhat strained relationship and don't know how to share, even though they both claim to share everything. Life under their roof is confusing- one is always trying to overpower the other, and I feel a lot of that on myself.

I dry myself with a towel and stare into the mirror. I don't know the woman looking back at me. It's not just the physical changes I have noticed. I am becoming a whole new person. The things I swore I'd hate for the rest of my life are catching up to me, and some views are changing faster than I can stop them. But who am I going to stop? One of the brothers or myself? Obviously, the only reason for this mess is hiding within myself. If I didn't bend to their will and commands, nothing about me would change. Perhaps it's about time for me to behave as I did when Vladimir was my owner?

I shake my head and drop the idea. No, I won't drag my past with me to avoid the possibilities of a different future.

There is no woman like Ocean, who I was when I lived in that damned club, not anymore. I'm not the local stripper who struggles to stand upright after another beating from a vampire who was no better than a pimp. The brothers claim they want to build a better life for me. What if I set out to believe in their words and thrive like every other human deserves?

"Darn it, stop with the 'what if' thing, Ocean. Even your thoughts are stupid; grow the fuck up!" I curse myself. There's no one in the bathroom but me, so I can talk to myself all I want. No one cares if I do or not. Not that anyone cares about my existence outside of their comfort.

I throw the last look at myself in the mirror and drop any doubts I had a minute ago. It doesn't matter what happens tomorrow or a week from now; even if I die, I will do my best to enjoy the short time I have left. For the first time in my life, I want to enjoy it.

"About time; I have been waiting here for a whole eternity," Octavius's voice echoes off the bedroom walls as soon as I step foot out of the bathroom. So much for dreading running into him while he's here.

Instead of acting shy or like a scared animal, I smile at him. "It's not like I've been in the shower for the past two weeks or anything. I took a quick shower; sorry for the wait." To my own surprise, I sound sassy. Like I'm challenging the vampire in my room.

This has to be the stupidest thing I've ever done because I know the consequences can be deadly. Octavius wants my blood, he wants my virginity, and I'm acting like a brat while standing half-naked in front of him. Yeah, that pretty much sums up how fucked up I probably am right now.

Octavius grins and walks toward me. His arms sneak around my waist, and he pulls me against his chest. My heart pounds against my ribcage, and the way his grin widens makes me think he can feel it. He leans to my ear and whispers. "Oooh, would you look at that? Kitty has claws. That's okay; I like my women to be a little daring. Anyway, if you don't want to be trapped in this bed for the rest of your days, you should get dressed. I have something planned for us." I realise I don't have a choice because he lets go of me, spins me around, and gently pushes me toward the closet as his hand lands on my ass. Did he really just slap my ass to make me move faster? Pervert.

Whatever he's up to, I am trying to look at the situation as one with a positive outcome. Maybe I'll get lucky, and he'll let me leave the walls of this mansion. I won't ask to go alone, but if he allows me to walk around, that would already be a dream come true. I grab the first clothes I find and don't bother to acknowledge how weird I look. The neon green pants paired with the simple black top look odd, but I don't care. "I'm ready," I say as I step out of the closet, throwing my hands up.

Octavius furrows his eyebrows. "So that's what you are wearing?"

I nod eagerly. I don't look half as bad as Octavius thinks I do. Most people don't even have the choice... Not that I'll ever admit that I'm just too excited to see what he has planned; I'll just tell him that I am trying to express my inner world. Whatever that means or stands for. I have heard people say that; it seems like a good excuse.

Octavius' jaw tightens, and he closes his eyes briefly. "Darling, please go and change. Put on something comfortable, but make sure the clothes cover your skin well. We are going to the city, and I don't want to see men ogling your body. It makes me angry to see the look on my brother's face when he looks at you; I wouldn't tolerate such behaviour from bypassers. So unless you want to go for a walk just to see me kill someone, you should change your clothes. Do we have a deal?" To anyone else, he might sound calm and collected, but I notice the warning undertone in his voice.

I give up, turn around, and stomp back into the closet. To stay in the safe zone, I opt for all black this time- a sweater and a simple pair of pants. As I step out of the closet, Octavius nods in approval and takes my hand in his. I follow him as he leads me down the stairs and stops in the hallway. He stares at the row of different shoes and scratches the back of his neck. "I didn't know which ones you'd like, so I bought them all. Pick the ones you think would be comfortable enough for a long walk." He waits for me while I grab a pair of sneakers and put them on. I have never had so many shoes, let alone such a variety of different styles. Maybe there are some advantages I should take advantage of since I live with the brothers. One of them is the ability to wear what I want, well, for the most part.

As soon as we leave the mansion, we stay quiet. Although we walk hand in hand and many people give us dirty looks, he ignores them. I wish I could do the same because the stares and the occasional whispers do nothing to make me feel better about myself. Still, I understand why they act the way they do. As a collared human, I have to walk behind my owner and keep my eyes down. He holds my hand like I am his girlfriend while he explains more things about some historical buildings. We look like lovers on vacation, not an Elite vampire with his collared human.

I suppress the urge to yell at someone. I have no right to, even with someone as powerful as Octavius at my side. As he continues to talk, I think of Kieran again. I haven't forgotten his words or the things he did to me. I really enjoy spending time with Octavius, but I can't help but wonder where his brother is. This is the first time he's doing something out in the open. He has mentioned his work but never explained exactly what he does for a living. Part of me is dying to find out, while the other part is scared.

I think I got lost in my thoughts when Ocvtaius nudges me on the side to get my attention. "Are you okay?" he asks with a concerned look on his face.

And now I feel guilty for letting my thoughts wander so far from reality. He wants to make my day; he wants to entertain me and let me see more than just the mansion. And yet, I am acting like an ungrateful brat.

"Yes, I'm sorry, I just thought of something," at least I don't try to lie. Octavius doesn't deserve my lies because he does nothing but helps me.

"Do you want to talk about it? I am here for you," Octavius stops and wraps his arms around me. He stands in the middle of a busy city street and hugs me. No matter how many people and vampires look at us, he doesn't spare a single one a glance. Is he above the law or something?

After about five minutes of silence and him holding me, we finally move on. I push away any thoughts of Kieran and let a small smile cross my lips. This time I do my best to listen and ask questions. He planned the walk despite his busy schedule, so the least I can do is be grateful for his effort.

Like every good thing in my life, the joyful mood doesn't last long. Everything is perfect until the moment a tall, slender blonde comes around the corner and shrieks as her eyes fall on Octavius. She opens her arms and runs towards him as I stare at the vampire's face. He looks unimpressed while the woman is overly happy. When she reaches us, she throws her arms around his neck and pulls Octavius into a hug while still holding my hand. Alright, now I know what it's like to be a third wheel. I look anywhere but at them as my cheeks glow bright red. I have never felt so humiliated before, but I don't understand why I feel this way now. It's not like I have some stupid claim on the man by my side; on the contrary, he has a claim on me. While I can't choose my partner for a possible relationship, he can date as many women as he wants. The very idea makes me angry. Is it jealousy that I feel?

"How long has it been since the last time we met? It seems like a whole eternity," she whines. I don't understand the point of being so loud, especially when you are in the middle of a crowd. Is it that hard to act like a decent person and avoid drawing unnecessary attention to yourself? Geez, I can already tell I don't like her.

"It's been a while. About a year, I think. That's nowhere near an eternity; no need to overreact, Lily." Octavius chuckles and slowly steps back, pulling me with him. I focus my gaze on the large building in front of me. It's much more fun counting the windows than listening to a conversation between the two of them.

Octavius clears his throat and frees himself from her embrace. "Lily, this is Ocean. Ocean, this is my friend Lily," he smiles as he looks at me.

I look down at my feet and whisper a weak, "Nice to meet you." That's all I can say. I can't act around this woman the way I would act around the brothers. She could stir up trouble if she didn't like something I do.

"Oh, whose human is this? I see the collar, but not the house logo," she steps closer and tries to reach for the collar, but Octavius slaps her hand away.

"Mine. Well, mine and Kieran's. We took over a house a long time ago and decided it's time to take in someone we can love." He announces with pride radiating from his words. Why would Octavius mention love? They couldn't love me, and I couldn't return the feelings even if I tried. "Now, if you will excuse us, we must be going. I want to show Ocean how beautiful the cliffs near the woods are."

"You are taking this human to see our place?" Lily looks like she's seething with anger, so I avert my gaze again. No vampire is going to catch me staring at them like that. She steps closer to me.

Octavius jumps in front of me, keeping me away from the crazy acting lady. "There is no such thing as our place, Lily. The past must stay where it belongs- in our past. You spent a few decades in my bed, so what? You never meant anything to me. If it's so important to you, why don't you try to get my brother, but I doubt that will ever work. It just so happens that the emotionless savage Kieran has developed feelings for this human as well, just like me. Now go away so we can leave. And please stop acting like a child when you meet one of your former fuck buddies. Have a good day, Lily."