18. I am a slave.

**Ocean**

The tension in the house seems much worse than before Kieran left. He hasn't bothered to warn his brother or me, not that he would ever consider my existence important enough. Most of the time, Octavius works more and locks himself in the office, so I don't see him as much either. However, the tension is more of the pressure that comes from everyone working in this house. Every time I leave my room, the servants and maids speak a little louder so I can hear them. I never liked snooping before, but now they make it impossible for me not to listen to what they say. The things they say are demeaning and harsh at the same time. Some constantly talk about all the things they hate about me or my looks. A few women love to point out that I am nothing more than their master's next meal or whore. And then comes the finger-pointing. They take every opportunity to blame me for Kieran's sudden disappearance. Because of them, I don't want to leave my bedroom anymore. I could ask one person to come over and spend some time with me, but I'm not surprised that Kieran sent her to work for a friend. I have lost the one person I could trust and spend time with in this hellhole.

I woke up hours ago but still haven't found the courage to open the door and face the judgement of those who want to make my life a nightmare. Sometimes I wonder why they think they are better, higher than me. Yes, the collar around my neck isn't a symbol of freedom, but it's not like they have any more of it than I do. We're all locked up here; the difference between us is that they want to be here. They make money for their work in this place while I am locked up here like a prisoner. Come to think of it, maybe they are right. The servants have more freedom than I could ever dream of. If they decide to find a new house to work in, that's their right. I can't leave Octavius' estate unless he decides to sell me to someone else. I am a slave.

The more I think about my life, the more it makes me sad. Most people have no idea what true freedom means, and while I'm sure vampires have had it bad for centuries, I still don't think they are doing the right thing now. Putting a price on a human's life is immoral and low. If I had a choice, I'd leave this place in a heartbeat, even if it meant I wouldn't live more than a day. It's better to live one day as a free person than to spend a lifetime in captivity.

The trail of thoughts about my misery is interrupted by someone speaking up. The woman didn't bother to knock on the door. Instead, she enters my bedroom and stands at my side as if she's doing me a favour. "Miss, my master sent me to get you ready for breakfast. He is waiting downstairs for you. The food will be served in a few minutes; we don't have much time." She explains. I can feel the hatred she has for me, but I choose to ignore the way she clenches her fists and the way her jaw tightens as she gives me death glares.

I stretch my limbs and let out a deep sigh. They have been treating me like nothing but dirt under their feet for days; maybe it's time I return the favour. "I don't feel like going anywhere. Be a sweetheart, get out of my bedroom and tell your master that you are acting like an absolute bitch, and that is the reason I am no longer hungry. If you can't do that, I'll be happy to explain it to him once he comes upstairs himself. I'm sure Octavius will be glad to hear that I'd rather starve than be around his servants." I smile at the woman and turn my body to the side so that my back is to her. If they can't show me even a modicum of respect, I won't show any either.

She gasps and falls to her knees. "Please," the woman cries. "Please, don't do this. If I have ever offended you, I am sorry, but I beg you - don't make me do this." Her voice breaks off in mid-sentence as if she's about to cry.

"And why not? You never bothered to treat me like a human, did you? I never asked you to treat me as an equal; that's impossible. You may have more freedom than I do, but if we live by the vampire books, I have more power, whether you like it or not. Yet not once have I tried to force this on the servants or maids. All this time, I have done my best to stay out of your way and just stay out of trouble. You keep spreading rumours about me and badmouthing me to destroy my reputation. And for what? For fun? I have done nothing to make anyone feel like they are worth less than they are while you make it your goal to belittle me every chance you get. Stop pleading with me, hold your head high, and keep the same attitude you have in public." I do not want to be the reason why she gets in trouble, but this woman needs to understand that even this shitty society has limits. She's here to clean, cook, and do household chores, not run around talking shit behind everyone else's back.

"Please," I get the feeling she has a lot to say, but whatever is going through her head won't pass her lips. Someone pushes open the door to my bedroom, and I jump up in my bed. Rather pissed off Octavius hovers over the servant and raises his hand. Before he can do what I suspect, I leap in front of the woman to shield her from the impact. Octavius's palm hits my cheek, filling the room with the loud sound of a slap and leaving a painful sting on my skin. Instinctively, I bring my hand to my cheek and step back, forcing the maid to do the same.

Octavius brings his hand closer to me and tries to step closer, but I jump back again. The look of pure terror on his face immediately turns to concern. "Baby," he whispers. "I didn't mean to," Octavius adds.

I'm speechless. All I can do is shake my head and hold onto the maid's hand. I don't care that he slapped me; it's not the first time I have been slapped across my face. What worries me is that Octavius claims to be different, but he acts just like every other vampire I know. He has no problem raising his hand to anyone, to a woman. I don't care that she's just a maid, I don't care that she speaks shit about me - at the end of the day, she's still a woman. He tries to get closer again, but I just pull the woman further away from him and continue to shield her from the monster in front of us. "No, don't come any closer. Leave!" I yell at him. I didn't mean to get loud or draw unnecessary attention, but my emotions have gotten the best of me once again. I watch his shoulders slump; he mouths another 'sorry' and leaves my bedroom. It's only when Octavius closes the door quietly behind him that I collapse on the floor.

As I get rid of the vampire in my room, the maid suddenly changes her mind about me. She drops to her knees beside me and takes my hand in hers, "Thank you, thank you so much!" I stare at her tear-streaked face. "I know I deserve this; you shouldn't have to do this, but thank you so much! They were wrong; they were all wrong about you! You are a good person. After all the things I said and did to spite you, you still stood up in front of me and took the punishment I deserved. I don't know how to repay you for your kindness." I'm not sure if I liked her better when she hated me or if I like her attitude now that she's acting like I am some sort of deity.

"It's nothing," I whisper. "You can use my bathroom - wash your face and make sure no one sees you have been crying. Before you leave my bedroom, make sure no other servant sees you at your breaking point. Whatever awaits you out there, I am sure you will be asked many questions - the quarrel was quite loud. Stand your ground and show them how strong you are. Go, I need some time to think. If you happen to run into Octavius, tell him I'll join him downstairs in a few minutes." Part of me would be glad to see her leave the room in tears; it would give me the assurance that no servant would maintain the same attitude as before. However, the other part of me reminds me that we are all only human, and I don't want others to have to go through the same misery that I have to call my life. Even if I don't, they have a choice - I don't believe everyone should suffer the same.

Her mouth slightly opens, and she moves a little closer to me. "Miss, you are going to face him now? After he..."

Her voice is just a whisper, but I can't rule out the possibility of a vampire at my door, so I interrupt her. "Yes."

"You're a truly remarkable and strong woman, Miss Ocean. No wonder Ada has spoken so highly of you; she admired you, and now, so do I. You are a kind-hearted and gracious woman." I would like to smile at her words, but they kindle no joy in me. It was only after I took the hit for her that she noticed my human side. I shouldn't be obligated to earn everyone's respect while trying to treat everyone equally. Under the vampires' rule, we're all prisoners of sorts; we should be sticking together, not trying to piss each other off.

I force myself to stand back up and dust the invisible dirt off my clothes. "There's no need to force me to stand taller than I do. At the end of the day, we're all the same, that's all. Now get out of here before you get yourself in trouble for shirking your responsibilities. You have work to do here."

I watch as the maid quickly follows my example and gets up. She runs to the bathroom; for less than a minute, the sound of running water is heard, and shortly after that, the maid stands before me again. She bows and leaves the bedroom. This could be the first time I have ever seen a maid bow, at least one other than Ada. After a few deep breaths, I do the same thing. I wash my face, but the red stain on my cheek doesn't disappear as quickly as the traces of tears on her face. I stare into the mirror and frown at the slight purple colour showing here and there. It's definitely going to leave a mark.

I'll have to face Octavius, so I'd rather get right to work than lose whatever courage I have in me. After checking my reflection one last time, I trudge to the bedroom door. If he's there, he'll at least get an inkling of the anger I have for him. To my surprise, I don't run into him near my bedroom, but one of the women walking by tells me he's downstairs. I thank the woman, smile at her, and walk down the stairs. My heart pounds against my ribcage; I'm sure Octavius can hear me near the dining room. When the door opens, I scan the room and see him sitting at the table with a newspaper in his hand. The sight reminds me of the dinner I had with Kieran-the same position, the same expression, and the same atmosphere. The brothers are much more alike than they think they are.

I sit down and avoid looking at him. Even if I were to start a conversation - what should I say? How should I begin it? Should I apologise for the mess that happened upstairs? I bet he's angry about what I did and said. Only now do I understand that my actions were just as wrong as his. He shouldn't hit women or anyone, but he is the master of his house, so I have no right to try and stop whatever punishment he sees fit.

"I'm sorry," Octavius puts the paper down on the table and looks at me.

"There's no need for that." I want to assure him that I'm not angry. It's time I accept things as they are and stop fighting the vampires. It doesn't matter how bad or good my life is - everything I have, I got from them. I haven't had to work a single day in this house to earn anything, so I need to learn to be grateful. A thought occurs to me- maybe it's better to address the vampires by the same title as other servants do? It's not like we are together, a couple, or married. Technically, I'm their property, and both might fancy it if I used the correct terms.

"Are you angry at me?"

I take a deep breath and look down at my lap. Here goes nothing... "No, Master," I whisper.

Even if my answer surprised him, I couldn't see it. I purposely look away to save myself the embarrassment. After a few minutes of complete silence, Octavius clears his throat and speaks louder. "Look at me," and I do so immediately. From now on, I'm going to be the perfect slave, or whatever they want me to be. Either way, I don't have much time left to enjoy life, so I can just be whatever they want me to be while I wait for my death. There's nothing out there for me.

"Who the fuck did this to you?"