Chapter 293 I Remember Now
Alexander looked at her smiling eyes, and somehow the unease that had risen in his heart from losing grip of the hoe began to fade away.
He lowered his head and looked again at the seedling he had planted with his own hands. An unfamiliar sense of satisfaction bubbled up from deep within—quiet, but very real.
"See, not hard, right?" Caroline stood up, brushed the dirt off her hands, and reached out to him. "Let's finish planting the rest together, okay?"
Alexander nodded and reached out his hand like she did. His hand was still covered in dirt, but he gently placed it in her palm anyway.
Together they planted the remaining seedlings one by one into the soft soil.
When the last one was planted, Caroline straightened up and let out a soft breath.
She took Alexander's hand and walked to the water basin in the corner of the yard, turning on the faucet.
The cold water rushed down, and Alexander instinctively flinched at first. Caroline didn't let go, just softened her voice.
"The water's cold, but it'll wash the dirt clean. Look."
The water washed away the mud, revealing two clean hands, overlapping together.
Caroline turned off the water, carefully dried both their hands with a clean towel, then led him back inside. She had Alexander sit at the dining table while she put on an apron and started preparing dinner.
Alexander sat quietly, his eyes following her figure as she moved back and forth in the kitchen.
The orange light fell on her thin shoulders and back, softening her outline.
That silhouette... it was so familiar.
The more he watched, the more he felt something inside him being touched. That strange sense of familiarity surged up again, like a memory knocking at a door.
He felt like he had seen this many times before. Was it in dreams, or from much longer ago?
He saw Caroline struggling to lift a colander full of vegetables, trying to move it to the other side of the counter. She tripped on something at her feet and her body swayed.
Alexander instinctively stood up from his chair, walked over quickly, and reached out to take the colander from her.
"Let me."
Caroline was startled by his action and turned around, looking at him in surprise.
"You don't have to, just sit down, it'll be ready soon."
Alexander shook his head and asked in a low voice, "Is there anything else that needs to be done?"
He shouldn't let a girl do all the work by herself.
Caroline seemed to understand what he meant, but remained silent for a long time.
"What's wrong?" Seeing her silence, Alexander suddenly panicked.
Did he say something wrong again? Did he do something wrong again?
He quickly looked down at his empty hands, then at the counter, his tone becoming extra careful.
"Should I... should I not touch these things? I'm afraid I'll break the plates... I'll leave, I'll leave right now..."
He turned to leave the kitchen.
"No, that's not it!" Caroline snapped back to her senses and called out to him urgently.
Alexander stopped at the kitchen doorway and hesitantly turned around.
Caroline blinked hard, pushing down the sudden burning sensation in her eyes. She walked up to him, looked up at his face, and tried to smile.
"It's okay," she said softly. "You're doing great. Even if the plates break, it doesn't matter—we can just buy more. I'm really happy that you want to help."
Looking at his eyes that still held alarm and uncertainty, she added seriously, "We'll take it slow. It's okay if you don't do it well. Just try, okay?"
What was Caroline thinking at that moment as she looked at him?
Alexander's brain struggled to process it.
He thought Caroline was happy because the Alexander who used to ignore her was finally learning to treat her like a proper gentleman would.
No, that wasn't it.
Caroline seemed more relieved about something else: that he could still think like a "normal person," could still take initiative to help, instead of being completely controlled by those terrible drugs and becoming someone who only responded to commands.
She was always like this, thinking of others first, never asking if she herself was happy.
At the same time, what flashed through Alexander's mind were those cutting words he had once said to Caroline.
"Caroline, stay away from me! I feel sick just looking at you!"
"Learn from Edith! She wouldn't be clumsy like you, can't even make a decent meal!"
"Get away! Don't touch me with your dirty hands!"
"Do you even deserve to love me?"
Alexander suddenly clutched his head, a suppressed groan of pain escaping his throat.
Intense pain felt like it was tearing him apart. His vision went dark, waves of dizziness hit him, and he could barely stand.
"Sir!"
Mark, who had been crouching nearby, was somehow already kneeling down, using all his strength to support Alexander's collapsing body.
"Sir! Look at me! It's me, Mark! Don't be afraid! It's okay! Stop thinking about it! We won't think about it anymore! Relax, take deep breaths... yes, deep breaths..."
Alexander was forcibly pulled out of the memory. His whole body trembled, his face deathly pale, breathing rapidly like he was suffocating.
"I... I remembered..."
When he was sixteen, Linus had set him up and he accidentally got hooked on drugs. That time he lost control and ran away from the Vito home.
It was Caroline who found him.
They spent a period of time together that he would never forget for the rest of his life.
So... those images he saw when he went to David for hypnosis, all those experiences with Caroline in his dreams—they weren't stories his brain made up to save itself, nor were they hypotheticals about "how he would treat Caroline if he could go back in time."
They were all real.
They had once had a time when they only had each other, and they had truly, with everything they had, loved each other.
Back then, he had stood by Caroline's side, been the first to step forward when she needed him, and protected her when she was hurt.
But what happened after that...
What happened later?
Why did he forget all of this? Why did he fall in love with Edith again?
Alexander clutched his head tightly, forcing himself to remember, but his memories were like something torn apart and carelessly pieced back together—he couldn't put together a complete answer no matter what.
He let out a low roar, suddenly pushed away Mark's supporting hand, stood up from the chair, and rushed out.
Mark was startled and immediately chased after him.
"Sir, where are you going?!"
Alexander was already in the car, foot on the gas pedal. Through the car window, he only left Mark with one sentence: "I'm going to find David!"
David was getting ready to leave work. When Alexander suddenly burst into the clinic, David was shocked on the spot.
Since the last time they met at the hospital, they hadn't seen each other for a month. Later, David had talked to Mark on the phone, and Mark said Alexander had recovered his memories after being provoked by Ralph.
This had been weighing on David's mind. He worried that Alexander, suddenly awakened, wouldn't be able to handle it.
So the moment Alexander rushed in, David's heart sank.