Chapter 251 I Proposed to Her in a Dream
"I'm not showing off." Alexander closed his eyes. "I just need them to understand I won't be pushed around."
Caroline fell silent for a moment before asking softly, "Is it because of me?"
Alexander didn't answer. He pressed his face against the curve of her neck and mumbled something.
Caroline couldn't make it out. She looked down at him. "What did you say?"
Alexander lifted his head, met her eyes, and his expression shifted into an easy smile. "I asked what you're planning for dinner tonight."
Caroline didn't know whether to laugh or be exasperated at the abrupt change of subject. "You came all this way just to ask about dinner?"
"What else?" Alexander's tone was matter-of-fact. "Isn't my fiancée supposed to feed me?"
"Who's your fiancée..." Caroline's face flushed as she turned away.
Alexander smiled and leaned in, pressing a quick kiss to her cheek.
"You are. Who else would it be?"
Caroline went completely still. When awareness returned, embarrassment flooded through her and she nearly jumped off the bench.
"Alexander! We're in public!"
"So?" Alexander looked the picture of innocence. "What's wrong with kissing my own fiancée?"
Flustered and mortified, Caroline grabbed her sketchbook and swatted at his face.
Alexander laughed, dodging easily as he hopped off the bench and backed away a few steps. He slipped his hands into his pockets and tilted his head, watching her.
"Caroline."
"What?"
"Wear red."
Caroline paused.
Alexander's gaze turned serious. "I want to see you in a red dress."
Her heart stuttered. She looked away. "Won't that be too much?"
"You'd look beautiful in anything." Alexander pulled her close and stole another kiss.
Caroline was equal parts touched and flustered. When she realized what he'd done, she lunged at him, her fists landing light blows on his shoulder.
"Alexander! You kissed me again!"
"How is that taking advantage? If you think it's unfair, you can kiss me back." Alexander deliberately tilted his face toward her.
Caroline retreated, embarrassed, while Alexander held her close, his laughter ringing through the courtyard.
The sound echoed in the air.
Alexander woke with traces of that smile still lingering on his face.
The familiar consultation room. The familiar bed. The familiar David.
"Mr. Hamilton, how are you feeling?" David approached, concern evident in his expression.
"The session's over. Do you need help sitting up?"
Alexander was still smiling, but his eyes had gone red. The smile came with tears streaming down his face.
After a long moment, he finally spoke, his voice rough.
"Doctor... I dreamed we were about to get engaged."
David seemed at a loss for words.
Alexander slowly sat up and smoothed the vivid red hem of his dress.
"You know what? Caroline and I never even had a proper wedding. But this time, I finally got to propose to her."
Mark helped Alexander out of the consultation room, then glanced down at his feet.
Alexander had been wearing heels for so long—he barely took them off except to sleep. His feet were swollen from the constant pressure, the skin stretched tight and shining.
"Sir, your feet..." He hesitated before continuing. "Maybe you should wear men's clothes for a few days? If you keep this up, you're going to seriously hurt yourself."
Alexander looked down, silent for a long moment.
"Then I won't look like her anymore," he said quietly. "If the shoes don't fit, I'll have them made to measure."
Mark knew better than to argue. He simply nodded. "Understood. I'll arrange it tomorrow."
Alexander kept walking without responding.
Mark hurried to catch up, supporting his arm.
Alexander had really lost weight, Mark thought.
Those arms used to be solid with strength. Now they felt insubstantial, almost weightless.
The staff at Ravenwood Manor had mentioned that despite his already poor appetite, he'd recently started restricting his food intake deliberately, as if trying to reshape even his body to match Caroline's.
Suddenly, Mark remembered something.
"Sir, there's something you should know... Ms. Edith Neville tried to run yesterday. Our security caught her and brought her back."
Alexander's steps finally stopped.
"Linus couldn't keep her under control?"
"Linus, he..." Mark hesitated. "He's not doing well. Ever since that time, after he tried that drug once, he..."
He trailed off, but Alexander already understood.
That drug that stripped away sanity—one taste was all it took to drag someone into the abyss.
So many people thought they could handle it. That stuff never answered to anyone.
"Most of the time now he's out of it. When the cravings hit, all he can think about is getting more. He really... doesn't have it in him to manage Ms. Neville anymore."
"So it is addictive," Alexander said quietly.
Mark didn't catch it. "Sir?"
"No wonder... no wonder she kept taking it all that time before she died."
To become Edith, Caroline had chosen to keep using it even knowing it was illegal.
Maybe she'd already suspected the drug might be addictive, but still went back to Charles for more, again and again.
Sometimes Alexander wondered—if it hadn't been for Celeste's manipulation, would Caroline have walked that path anyway?
Alexander shook his head.
"No," he said. "Even if it wasn't addictive, she would have kept taking it."
"Because I forced her to. I was the one... who made her become Edith. I made her wear Edith's clothes, copy her mannerisms, do the things she would do. I trapped her in the shadow of someone already dead, locked her there with no way out."
His throat worked.
"A living person, forced to exist as a stand-in for the dead—without drugs... how could she possibly have endured it?"
"And the person most to blame is me."
If he'd investigated the truth about Edith's supposed death, if he'd discovered it was staged, if he'd known about Celeste's involvement, if he'd realized sooner that Edith was still alive...
Or... what if he'd died in that fight with Linus?
If Linus had inherited the Hamilton position and power, maybe Edith wouldn't have turned her rage on Caroline, wouldn't have hurt her so badly she had to fake her own death to escape.
But... Linus had never loved Edith. He'd only ever seen her as a tool, a means to an end.
If Linus had won everything and then cast Edith aside, would she have resented Caroline even more, redirected all that fury at her?
This game, no matter how he played it out, seemed rigged from the start. Unless... like in the dream, he'd known everything beforehand and sheltered her from the beginning.
In the end, Alexander arrived at the only brutal conclusion—no matter what, the fault was his, because he'd been fool enough to fall in love with Edith.
Alexander closed his eyes and let a tear fall.