Chapter 39 in limbo

After drenching in the rain for over an hour, stuck in the chair and lost in my thoughts, I realized Lydia needed me. I told her I would be back soon.

Grief from losing a loved one was much more painful. It doesn't compare to the pain from losing a deceptive Ian. She needed me more.

She was with Mason for four long years, waiting with patience and hope while diligently performing her duties. Did she not deserve to be happy after going through with everything with not a single complaint ever? He kept her going, and he was no more.

My thoughts kept wandering back to Ian. Was he really deceptive? Did he have the heart to keep me in the dark about something so big and important? I guess I will be in limbo until his return.

No matter what anyone said, I should trust him until he clears things up. Was I in denial? Maybe. But what if he was innocent, and these women were playing me? Our bond shouldn't break so easily just because people don't want us to be happy and together.

Guilt flooded me for thinking that he was deceptive, even for a minute. He would never hurt me that way. He knew me well and should know darn well that I would never forgive him if he slept with Bella while punishing me for kissing Noah.

My mother was waiting for me to know what the Queen wanted from me. She was the last person I wanted to talk to.

"Where is Lydia?"

The quarters were surprisingly quiet, and Lydia wasn't howling anymore.

"I mixed some sedative in her tea to put her to sleep."

"We should allow her to cry it out. It's natural to feel the way she is right now." The pain of losing Julia's brother still hurts me. How much sedative for how long can she take?

"I have been telling you girls over and over to not fall in love. It might take months or years before she comes to her senses. She will be twenty-three by then. And when will she court again to find another suitable man? I think she will die an old maid."

I opened my mouth to argue but decided against it. She is wired that way, and I can't change her thinking. Why even bother?

"I thought you would be the one to do something stupid because of your feelings for the Prince. Your sister was so level-headed, didn't expect her to lose her mind like this."

"Nadia, what did the Queen want? Is everything okay?" My aunt walked in along with Julia and Mel for some gossip.

When I used to work in the kitchens carrying breakfast to the princes and princesses, my folks loved gathering around me now and then wanting to know juicy stuff. But I often did a poor job keeping track of things. I didn't even know about Charlotte's existence until very recently.

They are quite deprived of gossip now and pay Ruby to extract any information.

"Nothing. She wants me to be friends with Charlotte."

"She's right. Charlotte knows how to set clear boundaries. You have a good deal to learn from her."

"Boundaries for?"

I wanted to be alone but somehow got sucked into a conversation vortex.

"Boundaries between you and the Prince. Prince Stephen dotes on his mistress, but she doesn't love him back. She is just a cold and sassy bitch who knows how to manipulate him. He holds sex parties, goes to the Ring for a different woman from time to time, and she has no objections. At the same time, she has made sure he doesn't leave her."

I would have left Stephen's promiscuous ass a long time ago if I were her. Even the thought of Ian sleeping with Bella burns a hole in my heart. Charlotte was probably in it for the money, which is what my folks would advocate.

"You should also set these boundaries. Lydia found out from Mason that the Prince got possessive and beat Noah up, creating quite a scene in the hallway. I have investigated Noah's background; he is a great catch. You can't lose him by making him wait too long or appearing like a lost cause. He told Mason that he is still interested in you."

What were these crazy women talking about? Didn't they want me to be Ian's mistress all this while? Now they don't?

"Prince Ian has the power to relieve you of your courtesan duties if you serve him for a year. So when the contract ends, you would be a rich woman, barely nineteen, which is just perfect to end up with Noah or another worthy man."

I looked at Julia, wondering if any of her mother's blabbering made sense to her because she was the clever one.

"You should keep Ian interested but not consumed by you. He should want you, but you shouldn't lose your senses while you are with him. Neither should he. The sooner he lets you go when the contract ends, the better prospects for you." Julia summarized it for me, earning a pat from her mother.

"My daughter has been trying for a year now to be his mistress. But the Prince neither agreed to marry any Princesses nor did he want a mistress. Julia would have made a great one. A clever one."

Should I be offended? My mother rolled her eyes and looked at Julia with displeasure. Lydia and I were much less endowed than Julia, according to my mother.

"Nadia is also clever. She achieved what Julia couldn't, and that too in just three days." She turned to me and said, "Now, back off a little and let him be with Bella if you want to live. Ruby tells me that the Royals are quite unhappy with you."

"I am not up for these dirty games. I love Ian, and he loves me. Bella can fuck off! And so can you all!" I stormed out of the quarters and returned to my room.

So glad that I didn't live in that hell hole anymore. These women get into my head every single time. I shut the door and dropped on the bed. Noah was doing well then, not poisoned and dead. That's a relief.

I sprang back up when I remembered to look for the poison vial. After going through all my stuff for an hour, I was convinced that it got stolen.

Some kind of trouble was brewing for sure if it went missing, and Bella kept quiet about it. As I got up to check with the guards, someone interrupted them at the door.

My mother was here. Would it be too much if I asked the guards to take her away? I took a deep breath, telling myself that she always wanted the best for me, in her own twisted, cunning way.

"I wasn't able to tell you this in the quarters, but you should know something," she said.

"I don't need to know from you what I should and shouldn't do with Ian. Let me make this clear to you first. I did not become his mistress because you told me to. And I will not leave him ever."

"Who said anything about leaving? I don't want you to leave him either. That was your aunt's advice to set boundaries."

"What is your unsolicited advice then?"

"Prince Ian is not like his father. He is power hungry like him but fiercely protective of you at the same time. And there is an opportunity for you here. You must play this game right if you want to gain power."

"Told you already! I am---"

"Listen to me, you stupid girl. You will have his children. Don't you want to have his children?"

My breath hitched in my throat.

"Children?" I never thought that far.

"Prince Ian will breathe as long as you breathe. The King knows this very well now. You have immense power over the situation, and the bitches around you will want to get rid of you without killing you because killing is no longer an option."

"They kill mistresses' children."

"They used to. Not yours. And that's why I mixed nothing in that tea you had after sex with Ian."

"What?"

"I am sure you are with his child."