Chapter 21

(Ingram)

I CLENCHED my hands to stop myself from touching Brianna. I wanted to feel happy now that I finally get to see Brianna again. There was a gaping hole in my heart that had been filled the second I saw her again. But so much had changed between us. Including her feelings.

I’m still grieving over Kiara’s death. It was Xanthus who informed me about all the things that took place while Erasmus and I were in the woods. Xanthus was a rebel whose aim was to oust Sullivan’s father in the Council for abusing their authority in Vampire society, but the main reason was due to his personal vendetta against the Primus.

Xenos was Xanthus’ son. Erasmus didn’t tell me that Xenos had a wolf bloodline. I thought he was a mere human who were turned into a Vampire. After Sullivan killed Xenos, Xanthus came to Acantha’s mother and asked her to turn him. It made Xanthus became the first ever Vampire-Wolf hybrid.

Ramona and Xanthus rebelled because of the injustice over Acantha and Xenos’ death. As violators of the Black Veil, they were only supposed to be imprisoned or cast out of the coven. Because of the war that broke out between the two families, Acantha’s Clan died. Xanthus did not have enough power to take down Maxwell, Sullivan’s father. He became a mad man. He injured all the Council’s Knights when they refused to let him in when he wanted to report Maxwell.

But since nothing happened, Xanthus disappeared one day. Now we knew why. He had gathered evidence to overthrow Maxwell and Sullivan. He strengthened his abilities as a hybrid and formed an alliance with the Wolves and some of the Vampires in his plan to revolt. Using his blood, he was able to create hybrid Knights.

And now, after hundreds of years, Xanthus was finally back in the game. He searched for the doppelgangers. At the moment, he was able to capture Sullivan. He was about to visit the woods where he had us tied when Xanthus and his men found him. Sullivan became their key to make Maxwell surrender his position in the Council. Erasmus, and all the Black Swans and Vampires who experienced cruelty in the hands of the Owens’ would be the witnesses. That included me. Together, we planned to march down to Caffabet—the Council’s sacred place—to expose the Owens.

Sin Nomine. That was the punishment we wanted the Owens to receive. Those were Latin words meaning ‘without a name.’ It was stripping of a Vampire’s name and recognition within the community for having committed a huge crime. But all those plans would be in vain the second Brianna accepts Sullivan’s offer.

If only it was up to me to decide, I’d have wanted Sullivan to die as a punishment, especially after I discovered that he was the one who killed my entire family. That was how ruthless he was for doppelgangers like me that he slaughtered even my innocent family just for his revenge that should have ended centuries ago with Acantha and Xenos’ death.

Sullivan was wicked. Even if he was being held captive, he could still create ways to talk to Brianna. That was according to Erasmus. He could send her messages through her dreams. That was something that no one else could control.

The Council highly values the agreement made between the Vampires and the Black Swans. Brianna was automatically a Black Swan now that she knew about the Vampires’ existence, not to mention that she was in a relationship with a Vampire which meant that she accepts and supports the Vampire community. And the Council feels indebted towards the Black Swans. That’s why the moment she makes a deal with Sullivan, he would be exempted to the punishment.

Brianna and I may be fated to meet and to fall in love, but it seemed like Sullivan and Acantha’s doppelganger were fated to meet as well. Destiny kept crafting ways to make the two get entangled to each other. It happened when Levana got ill. And now, it was Brianna’s mother.

I wasn’t able to show up quicker because my body needed time to heal. I’ve also lost a lot of blood. In the fastest way I knew, I explained what happened to me and Erasmus the past weeks. Brianna’s eyes widened.

“I didn’t forget about you, Brianna. Even when I was burning and on the verge of dying, I kept thinking about you. I’m sorry if I didn’t tell you about Levana. But that was only because I didn’t want to scare you more once you find out the truth. I thought I could protect you against Sullivan without you discovering his identity, but I was wrong. He still managed to approach you.”

I held her shoulders. “Forgive me if you feel like I hid so many things from you. I just didn’t want to make things more complicated for you. I didn’t want you to freak out the moment you find out that the world was so much darker than what you’re thinking. There are witches, shamans, werewolves, hybrids and the likes of Sullivan who exist other than us. I was just afraid that you wouldn’t be able to endure getting to know them.”

(Brianna)

I BIT my lower lip out of shame. At the same time, I feel like losing my mind, it was like I’m drowning by the countless information I suddenly had to process all at once. How could Sullivan face me as if he wasn’t the reason behind Kiara’s death? As if he didn’t try assassinating Ingram and Erasmus?

Ingram said that Sullivan’s Knights were able to penetrate his mansion. Sullivan had Kiara killed so nobody could get in his way of approaching me. It was true that you really shouldn’t judge a person based on his physical appearance alone. Because Sullivan had the most innocent face I’ve ever seen. He didn’t look like he could do venomous things.

I remembered how he looked at me with confused eyes after kissing me and the words he uttered like a star struck teenager. Were they all part of his lies? Because if that was the case, then the world was really a terrifying place to live in because I was dealing with the beasts who could act better than the established actors and actresses in the country.

“And about Levana, why were you comparing yourself to her? Both of you are unique in your own ways. You’ll never become a second option to me. Don’t you think you’re being too much, Brianna? How can you easily think the worst of me? Did I ever make you feel that way when we’re together?”

I lowered my head. Ingram was right. Looking back, he actually treated me like a queen while he acted like a faithful servant. He couldn’t eat human food, but he’d cook for me, he’d wash the dishes for me, he’d make sure that breakfast was served before he’d wake me up in the morning. And when I was writing, he’d stay quiet by my side and would just bring me tea or midnight snacks.

“You will always be my Queen. I just can’t be your King. I don’t have the right to be called that way. But I can be your slave forever, Brianna,” those words from Ingram flashed my mind back when we were still in his mansion.

I sobbed. “I’m sorry. I was just so insecure. You know my life story. Except from my Father, I was never the best option for everyone. I have always regarded myself unworthy because I always lose the ones who matter so much to me.” My eyes brimmed with tears. “I was able to see Levana through Sullivan. She seemed to be a woman who was a lot better than me. My insecurities, fears, and anxiety all got mixed up. I’m so sorry.”

“I’m sorry, too,” Ingram said as he lifted my chin. When our eyes met, he wiped my tears using his fingers. “Yes, I must admit, I’ve been waiting to see Levana’s doppelganger. I’ve missed Levana so much that I yearned to see you and to ease the guilt within me for having her live the kind of life that she never wanted. But I never planned on falling in love with that doppelganger. All I wanted to do was to make it up to her through you. I wanted to help you in whatever way I could. I didn’t believe in the power of the curse.

“I have no plans of loving any mortal again after the heartbreak I’ve gone through. But I couldn’t bear to leave you the minute I saw you.” Ingram stroke my cheeks. “Each time I try to avoid you, my heart becomes my enemy. I fell in love with you not because you looked like her. I love you because you are you. Or maybe because my heart was really destined to love you. I honestly don’t know. All I know was that when I fell in love with you, I stopped seeing Levana in you. But if I had a choice, I wouldn’t choose you because I wouldn’t want to involve you in my messed-up world. Hell, actually, I didn’t choose you. My heart did. That’s why if you want to blame something, then blame this,” he pointed his chest. “Blame this for loving you. Blame this heart that had only been alive the moment it found you.”

“Ingram…”

“There is this invisible chain that ties the both of us. Whenever we try to be apart from each other, the chain tightens, causing us pain. Can’t you feel that? Stop trying to escape, Brianna. You’re just hurting the both of us.”

I nodded. “I love you, Ingram. I love you so much.”

For the first time after a long while, I got to see his smile again. “I love you, too, more than you’ll ever know.”

I smiled back, but it disappeared right away when I remembered my mother and Sullivan’s offer. My brows knitted. “If the curse was real, then why did only Levana die? Why are you still alive?”

“I died, too, Brianna. I died earlier than her. It was a different death, though. Because I became a Vampire. Sullivan turned me like this.”

My chest tightened. “Sullivan…”

Ingram suddenly looked wounded. “Are you considering his proposal? Sullivan is one merciless bastard, Brianna. Don’t repeat my mistake. Because once you make a deal with the devil, there will be no turning back. I already told you what happened to Levana. She was only twenty-two when she died. All the sacrifices I made weren’t worth it in the end. I sold my entire life for a life that Levana didn’t want to live.”

Ingram released my hands. “Do you know what my greatest regret is? I should have let Levana rest when she told me to rather than make her miserable by living longer. Knowing that I hurt her so much when I disappeared by her side just to be able to cure her was a heavy burden to carry than being a Vampire. Do you want to prove your love for your mother? Then come to her and ask her what she really wanted. If she tells you that she’s tired and she wants to rest, then let her be, Brianna. If she asks you to let her go, then you really have to let her go. That’s what love is.”

I couldn’t speak. What should I do now? I still wanted to be with my mother. I’ve longed to feel her love. No matter how heartless Sullivan was, only he had the key to end my mother’s sufferings.

I feel torn between my love for Ingram and my desire to save my mother. After what I heard from Ingram, I knew it was wrong to accept Sullivan’s offer. I must have gone insane because I still keep on considering it. And I think every daughter would feel the same. Every child would want to help their parents live longer whatever the cost may be.

“The choice is up to you now. I already did my part and told you everything you needed to know. I’m not ordering you to do what I want you to do. I don’t want to take away your freedom to choose. After all, I won’t be able to stop you anyway, right?” Ingram smiled bitterly. “But just so you know, regrets are monsters too, Brianna. They attack you all the time, every single day of your life to remind you of all the ’what ifs’ and ‘if onlys’ you could have done. And I tell you, those monsters have no mercy.”

I couldn’t move when Ingram walked away. We just made a promise to never run away from each other but what are we doing now? I wanted to stop him, but what should I say?

With a heavy heart, I walked in the opposite direction. With every step I make, I could feel the chains surrounding me, just like Ingram said. I could feel them squeezing my heart. But I didn’t stop walking. I wasn’t sure what was more painful anymore. Was it the chains in my heart or the possibility of losing my mother?