Chapter 27 A pill
Esme.
" Here, drink this. It will help calm your nerves." I had just entered in the changing room, and a few minutes later, Jason walked through the door.
It was almost over two weeks since I last saw him. He still looked the same, though. His confidence-pumped posture, and the privileged smirk that permanently curved his lips.
He looked handsome, but that was all. There was nothing sinnifully captivating about him. He was beautifully plain, at best. Looking at him, then comparing him with Dalton's rich, wild, and yet refined elegance, I fell into a daze.
I had spent ten years of my life loving, bending backwards to please him, delicating my precious time to him. What exactly did I ever see in him?
When exactly did he capture my heart?
Maybe, it was years ago, when was I sitting in our garden in the long and lonely bench, tears framing my face, fresh and dried, heartwrenching sobs echoing around me, my chest heaving up and down, as I lamented over the fact that my perfect life was coming to an end. My mother had just broken the news to me. She was divorcing my Dad. I had thrown tantrums, refused to eat for days, and yet, that didn't seem to change anything. My Mom had still left, and all I could do was sit in our favourite spot, in the flower garden, where the two of us used to spend our spring evenings, and that's when Jason showed up.
He was a few years older than me. His teenage face was mared by concern as he looked at me.
' Tears don't look good on your pretty face.' He had whispered, flushing me a toothy grin, probably trying to cheer me up.
' Here. I heard that sweet things always lighten up girls' moods.' Saying that, he had directly placed a chocolate bar on my hands. I had taken it, the young me curious, eager to see whether the sweetness could really wash away the pain that was burning through me.
It hadn't, but the sweetness had me distracted, and I had flushed him a small smile, for the first time, noticing him.
He was the boy next door. I knew him. We had played with him before, but he never registered in my mind until he gave that chocolate to me. His presence had registered, not only to my eyes, but to my heart too.
From that moment on, he would always show up next to me, when I was feeling down, when I thought that my world was crumbling, with a chocolate bar, the same brand, the same flavour.
He had walked that journey with me. He had stayed with me during the most darkest period of my life and, in the process, stole my heart.
And now, looking at him, then looking at his outstretched hand, holding a glass of warm water, I couldn't link him to the boy that I thought I loved.
And yet, looking at his frame again, which obviously was ordinary, it dawned on me, and the clarity brought a sense of closure.
It was not Jason I was in love with. I wasn't sttracted to his face either. All those years, every act of kindness that I showed him, every devotion, every care, tenderness, it was all gratitude.
He had been there for me once. My heart was moved, touched by that devoted young boy, who always brought me chocolates while I was at my worst. I was moved by that boy, who back then, would cut a single rose from our garden, present it to me with a radiant smile, and I would receive it, treating it like a treasure, just because it had come from him.
But the udult Jason and the teenage Jason were two different people. That boy, who would never want to see me sad, who had, on my behalf, begged my parents not to divorce, just because he didn't want to see me hurting, was in no way connected to the man who stood before me, handing me a cup of dragged water. A cup that could potentially ruin my life and hurt me beyond words.
There were no flickers of guilt in his eyes as he did it. It was like his conscience had bowed down to the darkness within him, and the line between right and wrong was ever blurry in his heart.
" What's in the cup, Jason?" I asked, my tone controlled, giving away none of the emotions that were swirling within me.
"It's just water. I am nervous. I figured out you would, too. I heard somewhere that warm water helps in relaxation. I have taken some, take a sip or two." He explained, and at his words, I almost laughed. For the entire time that we had been together, that was the much he had ever said to me in one breath.
If it was in the past, I would have been overjoyed, pleased by his thoughtfulness, but now? My heart was already numb. I felt nothing, I didn't even give a reaction.
" Well, I must thank you for your thoughtfulness, Jason." I stated, flashing him a tight smile, one that seemed forced.
" You look unhappy. What's wrong? You have always wanted to be my wife, right? I am about to make your biggest wish come true. Shouldn't you be happy?" Panic and doubt merged in his tone as he asked,and looking at him, I was tempted to hurl the water on his face.
What a good actor! He knew what he was planning for me! He knew what was in that cup, and he had the guts to act clueless?
" You are probably overeading into the situation. Like you said, I could be nervous. And yeah, I am nervous. " swallowing down the anger that was churning through me, I explained, before forcing the contents down my throat.
How his face relaxed when he saw the cup empty didn't go unnoticed by my sharp eyes. And the victorious glint that glazed his eyes was hard to miss, too.
In his heart, he had already succeeded in ruining me. Well, I also played along.
For obvious reasons, he was unwilling to leave the room. He was waiting for the drug to take effect, after all.
" Jason," I called, my voice shaky, my face flushed, and my eyes unfocused.
" I feel a little dizzy, sleepy." I explained, and he wasted no time before he scooped me, walking out of the room.
" You must be nervous. The wedding won't start until after another hour."
" You can use this moment to rest.."
" I will come get you." He promised, opened the room next to the changing room, and placed me on the bed.
" Go on and rest..." Too eager to leave. He was already at the door when he said those words.
And, watching his retreating silhouette, a cold smile tagged at the corners of my lips.
' You want to ruin me?'
'Jason, let's see, who gets ruined first!' With that, I took a pill from my handbag and popped it in my mouth..