The Peculiar Dream

Hi everybody, my name is Queren Andrea Chui, 17 yrs of age. From the city of Batangas, I believe in the saying “I born to be a human karma.” Why? Because I am the unluckiest human being in this-so-f*cked-up-world. I am GAS student in University of Batangas.

What’s my name? Queren? Comes from the word Querencia which means ‘desire’. My name has a very wonderful meaning, but why  does my life has an opposite definition?

I have a broken family, my mother hates me, the people around me look at me like I am their misfortune. I was left by my best friend whom I knew that always got my back. Lahat ng p’wedeng umalis ay iniwan na ako. Sino ba naman ang gusto'ng mag stay sa taong kamalasan lang ang dala sa kanila.

My dad left me, us—together with my kuya. They want me to be with them but mom didn’t let me. She said I am her daughter, her child, she said—don’t you dare take that away from me—but why is she doing this to me? She’ll always say “Malas ka sa buhay ko! Malas ka! Layas!” I thought she loves me, but I was wrong, definitely wrong.

Who I really am? I am just a teenager who don’t know why do they look at me like that. Like, I am going to take a way and destroy their life just because of my presence.

Kringgggg kringggg

Paakyat na ako sa hagdan nang marinig ko'ng tumunog ang cellphone ko.

I stop in the middle of stairs and get the phone in my pocket to see who’s calling.

Daddy Nico

I smile when I saw my father’s name on the screen.

“Hi dad, ‘zup?”

“Hey my baby, are you free tonight? Me and your kuya want to have a dinner with you, can you come?” he asked with a pleasing voice. Napangiti naman ako, he’s afraid I might reject them.

“Yes dad, I’m free tonight so I can come, just send me the details” sagot ko naman, sakto naman na nasa harap na’ko ng kwarto ko.

“Thanks god you grant my invitation, what a miracle!” sarkastiko n’yang sabi. tsk

“Yeah, I miss you and kuya so I’ll come” I said, teasing him

“That’s unfair! Kapag namimiss ka namin hindi ka namin p’wedeng makita. Then kapag ikaw.. that’s unfair baby! So unfair!” sabi na nga ba e HAHAHA

I laughed, tease him more “I miss you more daddy *I laughed* you know naman po na ayaw ni mom na nakikipagkita ako sa inyo ni kuya e, mahirap siya lusutan lalo na ‘yung mga tauhan n’ya” paliwanag ko

“Yeah yeah I know, btw I’ll send you the details later. I'm kinda busy baby, tinawagan lang kita kase baka makalimutan ko na naman”

“Sige dad, hintayin ko na lang ang text mo, kitakits”

“Bye baby, make sure you will come”

“Yes dad, I promise. Bye, I love you”

“Bye, I love you too”

Pinatay ko na ang tawag. Napangiti naman ako nang makaupo sa kama, I miss them. Paano na naman kaya ako tatakas nito kay mommy.

It’s like Im a prisoner with a monster guards. P’wede akong lumabas ng bahay pero dapat ay kasunod na body guards.

Baka daw kase makipagkita ako kila daddy, baka daw maglakwatsa ako, baka daw kung ano-ano ang ginagawa ko at hindi iniintindi ang pag-aaral ko, wala talaga s’yang tiwala sa sarili n’yang anak.

"Ehem"

Natauhan ako nang marinig na may tumikhim sa pintuan ng kwarto ko.

“Mom”

Sambit ko, inalala ko kung hindi ko ba na-lock ang pinto?

Tumayo ako at lumapit sa kan’ya para humalik sa pisngi n’ya. And as usual, umiwas na naman s’ya kaya nagmano na lang ako. Hindi naman s’ya ganito dati noong nandito sila dad e.