Wednesday May 8Th, 2019 Pt 6

Wednesday May 8Th, 2019 Pt 6
‘Parker is driving, we’re in his Expedition. I’m in the back seat. You know how nervous I am with vehicles.’ 

I can hear the fourth bay door opening as I finish the link with my dad. I’m hoping that including the information on where I’m sitting will prompt him to sit with me as I really do need him despite the anger he’s feeling right now. Parker starts the car seconds before hearing the back passenger side door open, flooding the backseat area with his scent. 

“When did you get this? It looks and even smells new.” Dad speaks a lot calmer than he had been just an hour ago.

“Dad bought it for me when I turned eighteen. I know it’s just a car but it means a lot to me so I keep it clean.” 

“I guess I know where to find you when I can’t find you.” 

Dad chuckles as the Explorer starts moving. How Parker didn’t end up with ptsd around vehicles is a mystery to me but I’m grateful all the same. It’s hard enough on me to endure the flashbacks and hallucinations when trying to travel but the guilt I would have if he was experiencing the same would cripple me. I squeeze down on the door handle with my right hand. My grip is so hard that I can feel my arm shaking as Parker stops and shifts into drive. 

“How did you come across rage rooms considering how difficult it is for you to travel?” 

I hear dad’s question but I’m unable to respond. Something about today has me feeling out of control no matter how calm I appear on the surface. I take several deep breaths letting each one out slowly. I feel dad’s hand brush against mine but I pull it away before he can grab it. I simply can’t handle him feeling the tremors that have taken over my entire body. 

“It’s best if you let him be the first ten minutes on the road. I promise he will even out.” 

Parker encourages from the front seat. 

“His desire to travel, to get outside the territory has increased to the point that he’s been seeking Julie’s guidance on travel. He started seeing her on his own about a year ago. Three months in she started having me drive with the two of them in back. Anytime he wanted something that wasn’t available at the pack she’d schedule an hour to go get it. She’s taught him several exercises that allow him to take his mind off the memories and redirect him to what’s happening right now. He’s the only one that has anything in this truck. Here.” He pauses as I hear the glove box open.

“Put this in his hand. It’s a fidget. It gives him something external to focus on. Talking usually helps as well.” 

It takes several seconds before I feel the small round object that Parker keeps in his vehicle for me being placed in my hand. I blindly rotate the fidget until it’s in the correct position to rotate freely between a finger and thumb. For several minutes all that can be heard is this small ball spinning, I often time it to the beat of the music barely heard in the background. 

“I’m sorry dad. I know I should have told you but this year has been particularly hard and I didn’t want to burden you with something I did to myself.” 

“What made you have the sudden desire to leave the territory?” 

“After Cole left in July you allowed me to choose how I wanted to contribute to the pack as you feel I am too young to start learning the lessons necessary for taking over.” 

“I’m sorry I phrased it that way. I want to give you time to enjoy being a young adult without being burdened with the politics surrounding being the lead alpha.” 

“That sounds a lot better than what you initially said.” 

I open my eyes and look at my dad, smiling slightly as I finally start to relax. I turn in my seat, leaning back into the corner allowing us to have eye contact during the ride. 

“As you know, I requested to do nighttime border patrols from eight to four, a schedule that still allows me to spend time with everyone and improve my skills in recognizing and tracking foreigners at the same time.” 

He nods knowingly.

“About two months after I started and I had gotten to know the guards I was working with, a smell that had been bothering me came up. I finally stopped them and said something as no one in our pack smells like that.” 

“What was the smell?” 

“The best that I can describe is a mix of rose and lavender. When I said something to the senior guards they said they knew exactly the smell I was smelling. All female shifters have the same general scents; typically rose, lavender, vanilla and occasionally a fruity or citrus type scents. They tend to be calming as a way of disarming males from attacking. I asked about the fated mates thing and the two that had found theirs explained that the scent is even stronger between mates and has a euphoric effect.” 

“Why did you say the scent bothered you?” 

“It does something to my wolf. I can’t adequately explain it but I struggle to contain him when we smell it. He wants to immediately shift and find her. He prattles on like a child about her being in danger and the need to enact revenge for what’s happening to her.” 

“Did you tell the guards about this?” 

“I didn’t tell them about what I was feeling, not the anxiety part, because that’s not what you feel towards mates.” 

“Is that what they think this is?” 

I nod as I start talking again. 

“They explained that in January you held a meeting explaining that you had met a young female who was using her wolf to hunt. A lite colored, malnourished new shift. You had given her permission to hunt in the territory closest to Blue Ridge, the southeastern forest. That’s the only area that they have ever smelled her. It took several attempts but they eventually managed to track her. They said she was great at avoiding them. The only reason they could catch her was because her stamina isn’t good. They complimented her speed and agility. Her ability to hunt is one of the best they’ve seen. Once they caught up with her they talked with her, asking simple yes and no questions. They gained enough of her understanding that they shifted into wolves and helped her hunt.”