Worries Weight

Emerald's POV 

I placed my hands lightly on my stomach as I stood in front of the full-length mirror, sensing the steady, gentle motions of life within. The tiny flutter of kicks reminded me of the new world I was about to create and I couldn't help but smile. 

My darling. My child. I felt a surge of warmth at the thought but I also felt a heavy burden descend on my chest. The fabric of my dress was pulling a little awkwardly over the expanding bump and it was already starting to feel tighter around my waist. 

Even though there was only a slight curve at this point I could already tell that it would soon be impossible to conceal. I was getting anxious as the changes in my body became more noticeable every day. Even though I didn't want to draw attention to myself it was unavoidable. 

Everyone would soon know. With my reflection gazing back at me with a mix of wonder and terror, I let out a sigh. I wanted nothing more than to hold my baby and love them but I was plagued by worries about how my pregnancy might affect everything—the pack Caden and my place in this world. 

How could something so lovely and precious feel like such a burden at times? When the baby came, would the pack accept me, or would they view me as a threat and decide I wasn't a good fit and didn't belong? Without looking back, I recognized the gentle, familiar presence at my side as Lena. 

She never failed to show up when I needed her most even when I wasn't actively calling for her. Her soothing vibes helped to soothe my tense heart. 

Lena said, “You're worried,” in a quiet but understandable voice. “I sense it.”

I let out a deep breath and briefly closed my eyes. “I am.” I mutely acknowledged. “I'm worried about my baby as well as for me.”When I was overcome by the weight of my concerns my voice cracked a little. “Eventually the pack may decide that I pose a threat. They may insist that I depart right away following the birth.” 

Even though I couldn't see Lena, her presence next to me felt like a reassuring hand on my shoulder. She didn't have to touch me to reassure me she exuded calmness just by being there as though she knew that everything would be alright in the end. 

Lena said softly, “Emerald,” her voice was a calming salve for the stress in my body. “You have always been resilient and this child is a part of who you are. Nobody can take that away from you.”

With my eyes still focused on my reflection in the mirror, I muttered, “I'm not sure if that will be sufficient. I have no idea what will transpire after the birth of my child. A lot of things are beyond my control. The pack too. They never gave me their full acceptance. I've always been perceived as different by them and this will only increase their suspicions.”

The closer Lena got the more I felt her energy enveloping me like a cozy blanket. “Emerald, don't stress over their opinion. You are carrying a valuable child within yourself. Your future, your child. That in and of itself is more than worth fighting for.”

With my voice shaking from the doubt that gnawed at my mind, I questioned, “But what if they won't let me stay?”Then I swallowed hard trying to control my emotions. “What if they decide I'm a danger or, worse, a distraction? What if they force me to leave once the baby is born? I can't—” My throat constricted. 

Despite her calmness Lena's voice was unflinching. “The pack can't just get rid of you. Your identity is just as important here as the things you bring with you. This child embodies not only your essence but also that of this pack and this legacy. You have no idea how much power that has.”

Still not entirely convinced I shook my head. “I'm not sure if they care about that. Ivy is expected to mate with Caden. He owes everything they've constructed to the council and the pack. Everything will change if they believe I'm a threat to that or a disturbance.”

Although Lena didn't respond right away I could sense her warmth enveloping me and supporting me. She seemed to be providing me with an environment where I could express my fears without fear of criticism allowing me to say things I was too scared to say out loud. 

“You have good reason to worry about what will happen to your child after birth.” She paused as if she were carefully weighing what to say, "You have allies.”You have supporters and advocates who will stand up for you. Emerald, Caden genuinely cares for you. Tradition or obligation cannot take away the way he loves you.”

Her words caused a sharp pain in my chest. There are no words to describe how much I treasured Caden's love and devotion. But that wasn't enough was it? Love isn't always the winner in the world we live in. There were expectations, regulations, and other things that had existed for many generations. 

I was the only one who understood that love was insufficient to change the course of events that had already been decided. I muttered “I'm not sure if that's enough. Everything seems to be working against us.”

For a brief moment, Lena remained silent, but I could sense her cool resolve. 

“You then make it sufficient. Emerald, you are powerful. You always have. You underestimate how strong you are. You are no longer required to hide from anyone or the pack. And this child will possess the same inner strength. Nobody should ever make you feel less than who you are. Whether they accept you or not you are a member of this pack.”

I closed my eyes to give her words time to register. She was correct, I knew. 

Even when I didn't feel like it I had always been resilient. To survive in a world that had never truly accepted me I had to overcome a lot to get here. 

Having this child inside of me gave me even more motivation to fight and establish my worthiness in this world. 

With hardly a breath in my voice, I muttered, “But what if they try to send me away?” 

Energy seemed to envelop me in a protective cocoon as though she were standing next to me. “After that, Emerald, you fight. You are strong. You don't allow them to determine your value. You make the final decision. Your baby is your source of strength and motivation. And you will survive.”

I nodded, feeling a little less burdened by my concerns thanks to Lena's steadfast support. I muttered, “Thank you,” feeling as though my words could not adequately express how much comfort she was giving me. 

Loudly Lena said, “You are not alone. Keep that in mind. Never feel alone.”

I stood there for a long time feeling the life inside me grow stronger with each heartbeat, my hands still gently resting on my stomach. 

Even though I had no idea what the future would bring or what would happen after my baby was born I knew that I would not give up. For my child, my home, and the family I was starting, I would fight.

And regardless of the pack's opinion or how they assessed me I would do everything in my power to keep them both safe. I would defend myself and my child.