Chapter 100 Chapter 100

Chapter 100 Chapter 100
Elorai.

I let out a deep breath. “What did you even discuss in the meeting that couldn't wait?” I whisper.

Lucas shrugs, but his eyes darken, if only slightly. “I don't want to discuss that now.”

“Okay...” I immediately concede, and silence settles once more, broken only by the snores of the others.

For long minutes, I wait for sleep to take me away, but it just doesn't happen.

My worst fears are starting to come to life.

At this rate, I won't be getting any sleep.

“Lo... are you still awake?” Lucas’ voice cuts through, much more subdued this time around.

I shift around on the bed, turning to face him, and find him staring up at the ceiling. “Yes...”

“Why are you still awake?” he asks, and I shrug.

“I don't know...” I whisper, shrugging even though he can't see me. “I just can't sleep.”

He glances at me, a corner of his lip turned up but not quite forming a smile. “Need help with that?” he groans, his tone suggestive.

My body immediately grows warm, but I banish those images from my mind before they can take root. “No, not that... not when Ronan and Knox are asleep. I wouldn't want to disturb them.”

“Mmm, fair,” he says, raising a brow. He looks at me again. “So, what's on your mind?” he asks, and I stiffen.

What are we? What's our relationship? Why are you so comfortable having me this close?

But I don't say any of those out loud. Instead, I settle for, “Nothing.”

“I know you're lying...” he mutters, his words striking a chord in me.

I lower my gaze, feeling my cheeks heat up. “I'm sorry... it's just a lot that's on my mind.”

Lucas sighs, shifting slightly as well.

For a while, we lie there in comfortable silence, each of us lost in our thoughts.

“Lo... I have something to ask you,” he begins, his voice low.

I glance at him. “What is it?”

He turns to face me, staring at me dead in the eyes, all traces of playfulness wiped from his expression.

“What do you think about being bonded with us?”

For a moment, the sentence swirls around my head, refusing to penetrate.

When it does, I gasp, resisting the urge to jolt from the bed.

“Bonded? What does that mean?”

He sighs, a dozen conflicting emotions swirling in his eyes. “Think of it like being married, but in werewolf terms,” he explains briefly.

My heart does a somersault in my chest before it starts beating erratically.

“Bonded with you?” I ask softly, too scared to hope. I don't want to take this the wrong way.

“Not just me. All of us... I guess,” Lucas adds as an afterthought.

Oh gods... oh gods... it's hard to think straight. My mind is spinning, I'm struggling to draw air into my lungs. This feels like a dream. A dream I don't want to wake up from.

“Elorai... draw air into your lungs,” Lucas commands softly as he watches me spiral while still trying to lie still. He places a hand on my chest, and I focus on the sensation, finally able to drag deep lungfuls of air into my chest.

Once the panic settles into the background, I can finally focus on his question. “Wait... you're asking me to be bonded with you. Are you in love with me?”

At that, Lucas stiffens, his eyes narrowing slightly.

Cold dread begins to pool at the pit of my stomach. Oh dear gods, no...

He doesn't say anything for the longest time, and I'm beginning to have another panic attack, but for another reason entirely.

“Whatever I feel for you, it isn't shallow,” he finally admits, and the knot in my chest loosens, if only slightly.

He didn't say it outright, but the intentions are there. That should be good enough, right?

“That's a lofty request,” I murmur after a moment. “I'll have to think about it.”

“Please, take all the time you need. But do know you might have to give us a response soon.” he says, and I nod even though my heart is rattling around in my chest.

“Good night,” I whisper, turning my back to him as I try to get some sleep.

I feel him shift too, but he makes no attempt to touch me or move, and for a while we just lie there.

Eventually, I can take the silence no longer. I ask the question that has been bothering me. “Lucas?” I call out.

“Mmm?”

“Are you in love with me?” I mutter, my voice so quiet it's almost inaudible. I swallow tightly, hoping he heard me. Or didn't.

I'm not sure. I don't know what to think.

For a long while, he says nothing. The silence becomes heavier, punctuated only by the exhausted snores from the other alphas and my own stifled breathing.

When I start to think he won't answer, I hear his voice. Gruff, almost inaudible, but he says it at last.

“I think I am.”
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After that silent, almost sacred confession from Lucas, I fall into an exhausted sleep, the words still ringing in my head.

Morning dawns, and the alphas, being the early risers they are, have already gotten out of bed, preparing for the day.

I wake up last, pick up my pillow, and quietly make my way back to my room, thankful not to bump into anyone.

Once I reach the sanctuary of my room, I close the door behind me and sag against it, losing all the strength in my knees.

I still can't believe the details of last night. Lucas and I speaking, him asking me if I wanted to be bonded with them, and finally admitting he might be in love with me. It is too much for me to deal with.

A scream starts building in my throat, and I have to clamp my mouth shut to stop it from escaping, my entire body trembling.

Gods, I have been so afraid of this, only to realize the alphas feel the same way too.

What do I do now?

Where do I go from here?

I push myself away from the door and amble toward the bathroom.

A shower first, something to eat, and then I can think. There's a lot to unpack.

I head into the bathroom, splash some water on my face, and brush my teeth.

Then I hop into the shower and have a quick wash, standing beneath the stream for long moments, just lost in thought.

I stay there until my skin turns pink and my fingers and toes prune before stepping out, wrapping a towel around myself and heading to the bedroom, where I get dressed.

I'm drying my hair when a knock comes on my door. I turn toward it.

“Come in...” I announce, barely glancing at the door as it opens and Lauren walks in, bearing my pheromone blockers.

“Good morning. I see you've returned to your room,” she says as she closes the door behind her.