Chapter 33 33
RANDOM FACTS: The thing about hitting a nerve is that it only works if the nerve was already there. Aidan's fear that Cain doesn't really want him existed long before Riven gave it a name.
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“How are you feeling now?”
Aidan Crowheart looks different than the person I met that night. He has on a shirt that clings tightly to his skin, showing off his burly chest and muscles. M
And his face…
With the military hair cut and stoic face, I could mistake him for another Kael, or someone in line in his generation.
Does he have family? Is he alone?
“You are being awfully quiet. The memory I have of you is not in that manner.”
Kael’s voice barely holds a tinge of emotion but Aidan does. There is perhaps… annoyance. Or disinterest. He doesn’t wish to babysit or be left alone with me. I wish it was similar too. “Would you like me to fixate instead on how your boyfriend kidnapped and placed me here?”
Aidan’s eyebrows rose up at the boyfriend but he doesn’t bother to clarify if I'm being a bitch or not as he says instead, “Whatever Cain saw you doing at that place you both were would have got you in trouble with the council. Not like that’s the first time you’ve caused such an outrage, is it?”
I’m still in the ‘cellar’ and apparently, Cain had passed out the second I woke up and Aidan strongly believed that whatever it is I can do would be better kept here, in the cellar.
He says I made everyone around me sad and get in their feelings or whatever. He says I did it before, like the first time I had my heat (he says the time I made Aaron feral) and I just… I just can’t take him seriously.
First off, let’s talk about common sense.
Pheromones make people feel things, sure. I’ve seen things. I’ve heard things. Omegas release them, Alphas react. That’s basic biology.
But making people sad? Getting them in their feelings?
That’s not how it works.
Sure Aaron went feral but my pheromones were really just that good and that’s all I wanna say about this stupid annoying topic. “I’m getting major bitch energy from you which is a little upsetting since I didn’t peg you to be Cain’s type in the first place—”
“He returned erratic and asked to be in a relationship with me,” He cuts in. “I’ve known that male for eighteen years. He has run away from anything that involves him putting any efforts whatsoever.”
“That must make you happy, I’m sure—”
“Your… emotions, clearly imbued themselves in your pheromones and changed theirs. Pheromones only send a message and change a particular chemistry between Alphas and Omegas, rarely ever Betas. You rewrote Cain’s main self and you believe that it is best I let you leave?”
There’s no shadow in this cellar. No opportunities to even make one with the blaring light from every corner. I feel hot, like I’m burning from everything happening here.
I curl my legs to my chest. “So what? You plan on keeping me here for the rest of my life?”
“Do you admit that you have done something?”
“No. And fuck you. Honestly, fuck you really hard. I’m tired, and I’m hungry and I had a terrible as fuck day, but because your darling friend or whatever asked you out, you think you get to push me in a corner and get me to admit something that I didn’t. You know nothing about me because if you did, you’d know I have never, in my entire life, had the power to make anyone feel anything they didn’t already want to feel. If Aaron went feral, that’s on Aaron. He’s a fucking adult even if everyone wants to spoon feed the bastard.”
I don’t know where all the rage that leaves my lips comes from, but it’s out anyway.
Aidan stares at me like he wishes he could break my head and peer into it to see how I think or function but I can’t help it. I had… I had a good fucking dream and I’m thinking of so many things and he’s terrible at conversing because now my guards all up and he’s probably enjoying making me feel insane.
“What do you know about yourself , Riven?”
I roll my eyes. “Oh my fucking God. Do you and Cain wanna play good cop, bad cop right now? At the very least can I get like ice cream out of it or something?”
“So he asked you and you clearly still have not found anything about yourself yet.”
“What happened to me personally not wanting to talk about it, mhm? What happened to me not wanting to talk about myself?”
Aidan looks like he’s about to wring my neck if I don’t give me an answer. “You are an Omega without pheromones but one day you suddenly have them, except it comes off and on and at certain times, it does not only tell people what you feel but influences how they feel. And you can’t tell me that was the second time with Cain. You must have done it again.”
I rise up from the chair I’m on. My head hurts for some reason. And it’s this. This entire fucking place. I don't want to be here. I don't want to have this conversation. But apparently what I want has never mattered much to anyone.
“I haven't done anything,” I say through gritted teeth. “You want me to confess to some crime I didn't commit? Fine. I'm a big bad Omega who can brainwash people with my feelings. Lock me up and throw away the key but preferably somewhere better than here.”
Aidan's jaw tightens. “I'm not trying to trap you in a confession. I'm trying to understand what you are for the safety of the people around you.”
“What I am?” A bitter laugh escapes my lips. “Fuck, you’re a Beta but there’s really no difference between you and Alpha. Always trying to fix people into a fucking box and when things don’t go that way, you somehow blame me for insane shit.”
“Riven, you seem to think this doesn’t have consequences. Have you thought about what this might mean for the people affected? Like Cain? His biology is different from the average Alpha’s.”
I start pacing, which is difficult in the small space, but I need to move. Need to do something with this energy crawling under my skin.
“If the council finds out, what do you think—?”
“You know what I think?” I stop when I’m only three inches away from him. “I think Cain finally worked up the courage to ask you out and now you're looking for reasons to keep me here because you're scared. Scared that if I leave, he'll realize he made a mistake. That whatever he's feeling isn't real.”
Something flickers in Aidan's eyes. Too fast for me to read before he says evenly, “That's a fascinating theory. Completely incorrect, but fascinating.”
“Is it? You've known him eighteen years. He's never committed to anything. Then he meets me once, has some kind of episode, and suddenly wants to lock things down with you? And you don't find that convenient? Blaming me means you never have to wonder if he actually means it.”
The words hang in the air between us.
Aidan is very still. Too still. The kind of stillness that precedes either violence or a complete shutdown, and I'm not sure which I'd prefer right now.
I’m not sure I prefer anything.
“You sound as erratic as he does, so it would be best if you leave then.” He turns toward the door and opens it. “You may leave.”
I blink at him, genuinely thrown. "Wait. What?"
"You may leave." He steps aside, holding the door open. His face is carefully blank—too blank, like he's working very hard to keep it that way. "I'll arrange for someone to drive you back to the city."
I don't move. "Just like that?"
“Just like that.” He waits, but there's something in his posture that wasn't there before. Something guarded. Something that makes me feel like I've actually hit a nerve instead of just being cruel for the sake of it.
And I hate that I notice.
“I—“ I start, then stop. What am I supposed to say? Sorry I implied your maybe-boyfriend doesn't actually want you? Sorry I made this about your insecurities instead of the actual problem?
Aidan raises an eyebrow. “Was there something else?”
Yes. No. I don't know.
I walk toward the door, half-expecting him to change his mind, to grab my arm, to demand more answers. But he just lets me pass, stepping further back to give me room.
I should apologize but I don’t. Instead, he leads me out of the stony hallway that leads outside to the back of the academy where a black car already waits.
We don’t exchange a single word to each other until I’m in the car and my hands move as I sign the words to him that I know he’ll never understand, ‘I’m sorry,’
He doesn’t act like he acknowledges it though because he walks back inside without a glance and I feel like the worst thing on earth.