Chapter 59
Iris
A knock on the door riled me up from my not-so-peaceful sleep. I yawned and leaned on the bedrest, irritated by the knock. It had better not be Hazel because even though I loved her more than my sister, I needed time to process my present predicament.
"Come in, please," I answered groggily and reached for the jar of water on the bed stand.
The door was pushed open and Hegar came in, already dressed up for the day. "Greetings, My lady. Did you have a good sleep?"
I pinched my forehead in a bid to relieve myself of the banging headache that grew in my head. It had been like that since the debacle with Zera and then it worsened after the nightmare.
I didn't know what was going wrong with me but I didn't want to fall sick as this was the worst time for that to happen.
"No, I didn't," I replied flatly. "What do you want?"
"Prince Gradel informed me this morning that I'd be in charge of your training session so I came to take you on it." He informed me and I scoffed, sliding down memory lane.
Last night, he had told me that he would be handing my training session over to Hegar, but I didn't take him seriously because I thought he was just overwhelmed by the events of last night, but seeing Hegar here I confirmed that he was serious about giving me space.
"You can leave, Hegar. I don't need any stupid training," I refused harshly.
His brows furrowed as he stared at me in surprise. "But the Prince emphasized its importance and how I should ensure that you take your lessons seriously. I'm sorry, My lady, but we don't want to infuriate the Prince."
I didn't know if it was just his obstinacy or my headache, but I found myself on my feet with my hand hanging in the air. I'd almost lost it.
"And do you think I care about your prince's temper? Do you think I care about any ridiculous sessions? My heart is shattered and my head feels so heavy I'm sure it will fall off soon. What in the goddess's name don't you understand about that?" I yelled at the top of my voice.
Though the headache tripled, my chest felt some kind of relief. At least, I didn't have to keep hiding how I felt. Now I understood why people liked to tell their feelings to strangers.
And Hegar wasn't exactly a stranger to me, he wasn't just my friend.
All the while, his eyes had dilated and his lips slightly parted. Then he bowed and retreated.
"I'm sorry for not respecting your privacy. I'll come back whenever you need me." He was already at the door.
My conscious pricked me as I rarely lost my temper. "Wait, Hegar!" He halted, but didn't spare me a glance. "You're not to be blamed for following orders. I'm sorry for taking out my anger on you."
He twirled around and inclined his head.
"You don't owe me any apologies, My Lady. It's an honor to serve you."
I sighed deeply, relieved by his response. His ability to carry out his duties without becoming sentimental when there were obstacles amazed me, but it also made me forget that he was a human and I'd trained myself to see everyone as such.
"Look, Hegar, the training won't suffice today because I'm not in a good place but surely we can take a walk, right?" I questioned hopefully.
His face lit up brightly even though he didn't smile and I took it as a yes.
"Alright then. I'll get just freshen up and meet you outside,"
**********
The weather was quite sunny and breezy with clear blue skies. The temperature was just right, not too hot or too cold, and there was a refreshing breeze blowing through the town. It was the kind of weather that could keep you outdoors all day and it was particularly therapeutic for my forlorn mood.
"I'm sure you'll be taken aback that I requested a walk," I began a conversation, having walked around in silence for a while.
"Truthfully, this is a kind of escape from errands. I'm always on the go with no time to rest. I don't complain but I wish I could have some time to rest without interruption-" He blurted and palmed his lips, his eyes bulging as if he just committed a horrendous crime. "Please, don't tell the Prince." He made a pity face that cracked me up.
I made a zip-lock sign and giggled. "Don't be scared. I'm not a snitch and it's okay to blab when you want to. Just do it with the right person," I smacked his arm playfully.
"Does your head still hurt?" He asked with a kind of tenderness I didn't know he had.
"Not as much as it used to. I'll be fine," I chuckled nervously, my heart drumming with pain.
"You act like everything is fine but deep down I know it's not. Can I be your confidante, even if it's for today?" I froze on my step. "Oh no, I think I've overstepped my boundaries."
I let out a brief laugh and folded my arms. "You haven't, Hegar and you're right about me. I'm not fine." I confessed.
"And what could be the problem?"
"I betrayed Gradel's trust and now I don't think my relationship with him can ever return to normal," I admitted and then told him what happened.
I inspected his face after speaking but it remained stoic as it had been since I started explaining. "Can you say something?" I demanded desperately.
He inhaled and peered down at me. "The prince and I used to be very good friends and we still are, but my sense of duty has overtaken the relationship we used to have and he barely tells me anything. But I'll advise that you give him the space he desires. The prince likes you, I see the way he looks at you and the changes you have brought to him, but he has to accept that you aren't to be blamed for his mother's death." He said and my stomach tightened.