Not With A Bang But With A Whisper

DAISY.

"His name is Bastian," I answer evenly, and I'm proud to say my voice sounds calm and steady despite the turmoil within me. "And he will find a way to stop you and save my family. I am not Alexander, and despite his darkness, he is not like you."

I turn to Bastian once again, taking in the sigh of the black wolf without fear or judgment. He's feral, deadly, and simply stunning. I smile at him softly, finally seeing him for all that he is. I see every bit of him, the man and the monster, and the choice comes to me as easily as breathing.

"He may have lied to me about what he was, but I know who he is," I whisper, addressing the Witch even as I hold his gaze. In that moment, I see only him. "He is my mate, and I will love him until the day I die."

The Witch of the Dark hisses in frustration. Well, if she wasn't angry before, she sure as hell is now. The black flame hovering in her hand begins to move, swirling and shifting until it takes the form of a large black raven with burning red eyes and feathers made of ebony flames.

"Very well then," she snarls at me, her voice full of bitterness and an angry sort of resignation. "Have it your way."

She raises her arm over her head, and the bird lifts off, its massive wings spreading as it soars above us.

I refuse to die screaming and pleading for a life I would not change. I refuse to shy away and hide from an end of my own making. I have no regrets. The raven dives towards me.

I will not close my eyes. I will not close my eyes. I will not close my eyes.

I repeat the thought like a prayer over and over again, letting it give me whatever strength remains in my person. Instead, I look to Bastian and find the black wolf's green gaze trained on the bird.

‘Look at me,’ I want to say to him. ‘Look only at me. I am not afraid, my love.’

But then the black wolf seems to flicker, and a heartbeat later, a ripple courses through him, and Bastian shifts back into his human form. The Shades screech, their heads reeling back as their weight falls forward from the sudden change. In his human form, Bastian is small enough to slip out of the shadowy tendrils that restrained him as a wolf, and he slides out from under the Shades' grasp.

He runs, reaching for me, and for a stunning, stupid second, I have hope.

I tighten my grip on the dagger, angling it in front of me as I get ready to defend myself by his side. If we're going down, we're going down fighting.

But what happens next is not a battle. There isn't enough time for one, and the realization hits me too late. Bastian dives in front of me, positioning his body between me and the raven a moment before it plunges straight into his heart.

The piercing scream that follows is not mine. I don't have the capacity to scream. Not when the air in my lungs feels as though it's turned to ice inside of me. I forget how to breathe, how to blink, how to be.

The Witch of the Dark staggers towards us, and it takes me a minute to realize that she is the one crying out as Bastian falls to his knees in front of me.

All too suddenly, time seems to catch up with me, and my senses are screaming. There's a pain in my chest, the ghost of the anguish Bastian must be feeling as blood soaks his shirt where the raven dove into him. It burns him from the inside out, and he sputters. I crawl towards him, numb to the rocks and twigs digging into my skin.

The Witch reaches him first. She crouches at his side with outstretched arms, but he pushes her aside, coughing as his body heaves from the dark power eating through him.

No. No. No.

"Why?" the Witch cries. "My stupid boy, why did you do that?"

Finally, I'm at Bastian's side, and he grabs my hand with a surprising amount of force, his eyes searching mine.

"Bastian." His name sounds broken on my quivering lips.

"Princess," he whispers. I barely manage to catch him as he falls onto his back, his head landing on my lap. I'm shaking all over, holding on to him as everything falls apart.

"I'm here," I sob. "I'm right here, pretty boy."

He smiles at the nickname, and I feel myself shatter.

"I love you too, Princess." He coughs again, and the color has drained from his face. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I should have told you."

This can't be happening.

"I know. Shh, I know. It's okay." I brush a golden curl out of his face, and I'm struck by the memory of his mother doing the same thing in the vision I saw. "You're fine. You're going to be fine. You came back from the dead once. You can do it again."

He shakes his head, and more blood seeps through the fabric of his shirt. "It doesn't work that way, love. No one gets that lucky twice."

Bullshit. That's not good enough, and he must see it in my eyes, because he chuckles weakly. Bastian's hand reaches up to cup my cheek, and his skin is startlingly cold against mine.

"Don't be mad. I wouldn't change any of it. Not one bit," he whispers.

"Neither would I."

He smiles sadly. "I spent so much time feeling angry and ashamed. Afraid. Angry over what happened, ashamed of what it made me. Afraid of what I might do because of it. But I would do it all again if it meant meeting you. I'd give it all to know you, to love you."

"Stop it," I choke. "Stop saying goodbye."

This isn't how this story ends. It can't be.

"It's okay, love. I already had more time than I should have, and it was enough. Loving you was more than enough."

"Well, it's not enough for me," I whisper, holding onto him even tighter. "I want more time. I want more of you. You're my mate, Bastian, and you can't leave me. Please. Please don't leave me." I know I'm being selfish, but I can't stop myself.

I am not a hero. I don't have it in me to let him go.

His thumb brushes away one of my tears, but it makes little difference. Still, he stares up at me as though I am the most beautiful thing he's ever seen.

"I'd give it to you if I could. I would give you all the time in the world. My wolf, my secrets, my smile, my days, and my nights. It's all yours."

"I'm sorry…" the Witch of the Dark whispers, and I turn to look at her in surprise. Inky tears are spilling from her colorless eyes, and Bastian finally turns to face her.

"I never asked you to bring me back. I never wanted you to sell your soul for me, but I am thankful nonetheless. I am grateful I lived long enough to meet my mate, and I forgive you for everything except hurting her." He turns back to face me again, and his hand falls away from my cheek as his eyes lock onto mine.

"Don't be like her," he tells me, nodding toward his mother. "She lost herself to darkness, and I lived in fear of it. But you… you loved it as much as the light." His voice grows soft, his eyelids drooping.

"I love you, Bastian." It's the only thing I can say. It's all I can give him. It's everything.

"I love you too, Daisy Lyall," he whispers breathily. "My princess with amethyst eyes, your sharp tongue and your soft lips. You followed me into the dark and made it seem so bright. It was so beautiful by your side. It was perfect."

His eyes fall closed.

"Bastian," I cry, shaking him by the shoulder. "Bastian, open your eyes. Don't leave me. Bastian, please. Come back to me."

He doesn't wake up.