Chapter 45 Surgery

Chapter 45 Surgery

Lucian's POV

I sat quietly in the hospital waiting room, the smell of medicine and antiseptic was everywhere, burning lightly in my nose. Something I wasn't really used to

It’s rare for me to be seen inside a hospital.
Even when I’m injured or stabbed, I let my doctor come and treat me at home.

I have this crazy feeling that hospitals are for the weak—definitely not my thing.

The waiting room felt too quiet, like it was secretly mourning those who wouldn’t make it out today.

I had just rushed Riley to the hospital myself.
She had already lost a lot of blood before I brought her in. She was unconscious and could have passed for a dead person.

Her body was so heavy, and for a split second, I thought I was going to lose my goddamn mind.

I can't let her die, she still has something that belongs to me. And as long as I'm concerned, I'll take it back no matter what it costs.

If I've to spare Riley one of my kidneys, then I'll do just that…to keep her alive until she confesses where she's hiding my properties.

Now she was inside the operating room, doors shut, bright lights above her, doctors working on her head.

She must have fallen really hard because her head didn't stop bleeding until we got to the hospital.

I keep wondering how she managed to fall like that. She'd really hit her head badly.

The image kept replaying in my head—Riley’s blood on the stairs, on my shoes, my hands and shirt. It was as though I was the one who got into an accident because of how badly I was stained with her blood.

I sat in the waiting chair, elbows on my knees, hands clasped tightly together.

My toes kept tapping endlessly against the marble floor as my leg bounced without control.

My fingers were intertwined so hard my knuckles had turned pale and it began to hurt but I barely felt how intense the pain was…I was thoughtless.

I stared at nothing in particular, but the way my eyes were so focused was like I was preparing for an attack that hadn't happened yet.

I looked quiet from the outside, but inside my head, everything was loud. Really loud.

“I don’t care,” I suddenly muttered under my breath. I shook my head sharply and blinked away like I was trying hard not to think about something.

“I don’t care about her anymore.” I whispered to myself again, then I leaned back slightly and shut my eyes hard.

I tried to convince myself that this wasn’t about love and that I'm not beginning to develop feelings for the same woman who once hurt me.

This was the same girl who stole from me five years ago, and wiped away the smile from my face. I haven't recovered from that trauma so I could've simply let her die on the stairs.

I shouldn't have bothered carrying her so quickly and rushing her here.

“No!” The Boyce in my head suddenly screamed. “I only cared because she still needed to confess. She still needed to tell me where she hid everything she stole from me.” I convinced myself.

That was the only reason I brought her here.

That was the only reason his chest felt this tight.

I bet there's nothing more to it.

Well, I'm not completely sure about that. But I just hope I'm not being guided by my heart right now

I hate it when my heart is the one giving me directives. I prefer when my brain is the one leading. My heart can sometimes be a big bitch and I hate it. My brain handles situations better.

I just need answers,” I whispered again, still trying to relieve myself of the restlessness tearing through me.

But deep down I knew this was a lie, and of course, the lie tasted bitter in his mouth as I whispered it.

Because no matter how much I tried to deny it, my heart didn’t feel empty. It felt scared.

The more I sat there and prayed that Riley's surgery goes well, the more I felt guilty for hoping for it.

I hated myself for that.

I hated the feeling crawling inside me right now.

I've never been this confused.

I suddenly remembered the way she looked when she fell—her body tumbling down the stairs and her head hitting hard.

The way her blood spread across the floor — it looked as though we had just slaughtered a pig on that very spot.

And the worst part? I had made her a maid in my own house—the same house we'd once lived in as the happiest couple ever. Even though we were never married—the relationship looked as though we were married for ten years already.

And now what? I'd stripped her of everything. Treated her like nothing. Forced her to live as a servant and to be controlled by an ordinary maid like Tessa.

I can remember vividly the image of Riley's wet clothes on the stairs when she bumped into me and I'd grabbed her so quickly like I would never be able to watch her fall.

If only I'd seen until the future and I knew this was gonna happen, then I wouldn't have let her when I held her on the stairs. I could have held her so closely for the rest of the day if that would've stopped this from happening.

I clenched my jaw tightly and blinked sharply, guilt settling deep in my chest and burning through my veins.

I shouldn’t have done that.

“I shouldn't have pushed her this far—” I muttered to myself, almost angrily. But it was too late now.

Like someone being poked from underneath the chair, I suddenly shot up from my seat.

Sitting suddenly wasn’t working for me anymore.

Waiting wasn’t working either.

It felt like I was suffocating so I started pacing back and forth in the waiting room, my shoes making sharp sounds against the marble floor.

My hands ran through my hair roughly as I kept walking up and down.

I couldn’t even think straight. Every second felt like ten minutes, and my chest felt heavy, like something was pressing down on it hard.

Then just a few moments later, the waiting room door suddenly slammed open loudly.

I turned instantly, my heart jumping into my throat—I thought it was the doctor who'd come to give me news, maybe she survived the surgery or not.

I'd already braced myself to hear the worst.

But the moment my eyes landed on the person who'd just stepped into the room, disappointment washed over my face at once.

My shoulders dropped slightly and I turned away slowly.

It wasn’t the doctor.

It was Dominic.

And behind him was Tessa.

She looked small, quiet, and almost too innocent for someone who had just caused Riley to fall down the stairs and end up in the operating room.