Chapter 25 BREAKING BARS
My voice was growing hoarse from my cry and I felt my face very hot as my tears stung my eyes.
With the grin of a crazy woman forming on my face, I spat at him.
“Now that the off are not in your favor, you think this is unfair?”
“You're only going to hurt yourself, Vanessa.”
“You think I haven't realized this yet?” I continued, forcing myself to hold the gun properly as my hands were still trembling. “Hurting myself is very much the same as hurting you!”
I wasn't sure I was exactly sane at that moment.
Could I possibly pull the trigger to end myself?
To hurt him in the most gruesome way possible?
Do I have the courage to set myself free from this man Santiano Rafael Devereaux with my death?
To attain total liberation from him?
My hands were quivering badly as they guarded the gun and my fingers also went numb.
I took my eyes off him for a brief moment and the next, he had seamlessly shot at me, moving faster than the wind that I didn't see this happen, I only felt it.
Rafael grabbed the gun in my hand and like a flawed dance spin, he spun me over, allowing me to fall back into the bed while his other hand guarded my hands together, pinning them dangerously against the softness of the bed— right above my head.
I tried to struggle to get off him, kicking, tossing and turning to loosen his grip on me, but my feminine frame and strength could not resist him.
When I had worn myself out, I finally settled, giving up forcing him off of me.
He was already pissed off by my actions and the thought of me almost hurting myself drove him mad. He pointed the gun towards the wall, firing all the shots left in the barrels until it was empty. The faint clicks of the empty shots finally made him stop.
Fear seized me up as he fired, each shot making an horrendous, terrifying sound at such close proximity that I began to quiver under him, breathing heavily like I had just finished a marathon.
I really could have gotten myself killed if he hadn't stopped me.
In his anger, Rafael tossed the gun away, now pinning my hands properly to the bed with both hands.
He managed his movements and grips well so he didn't move roughly in order not to hurt me.
Then, we both settled. He was already short on breath and he began to breathe hard and fast to regain what he had lost at the brevity of my display.
All I could do was stare endlessly into his eyes wondering what he would do to me next because I had no other place to look and he was totally dominating me already.
Rafael also has his eyes glued on me, still not believing I had pulled a shoe to try to hurt myself— right in front of me. In his eyes, he had the look that told a tale that wondered what kind of woman I was.
Tears pooled up in my eyes again and for what reason, I could not tell.
Perhaps, I was grateful he had stopped me from doing something stupid which he will blame himself for— for the rest of his life.
“I warned you, Vanessa.” He tells me, his tone already softened up, but his breath was still coming in slowly. “Why wouldn't you listen? You could have done something bad to yourself.” He continued.
I bit my lips so they wouldn't quiver.
“Do you hate me that much? Enough to want to hurt yourself?” He asked, the look in his eyes turning really tender like a lamb being led for slaughter.
“I know this is all overwhelming for you and you have every right to be mad at me or try something crazy, but Vanessa, there's a lot more to this and it'll take time to finally make you understand.”
I sniffed back my tears, my words failing me, so I just listened to him speak.
“All I need is you. To stay by my side and let me love you, protect you and give you the life you deserve.”
“Tell me.” I said, my voice rasp and barely above a whisper.
“Give me time, Nessa and I promise to tell you everything you want to know, but not now.”
Whenever it was, I do not think it could justify his actions towards me, but I had to let him believe I was in for it for a while until he finally decided it was the appropriate time to unearthen the secrets I had been let out on.
“So Vanessa, I want you to stop trying to get away from me. Don't make any more stupid plans to escape from Santiano Rafael Devereaux because it'll only be hard for you— and I will always find you.”
“No one gets away from me, no one.”
I nodded slightly and a forced smile cracked on my lips not clicking off the possibility of his words serving as a threat to me. Finally, he relaxed the compressed muscles of his grip on me.
He gave me a soft, warm smile and began to fondle my cheek, still framed over me like an umbrella.
“You don't know how hard it is resisting you right now.” He breathed raspily, his warm breath forming tingles against my skin.
“You're not trying hard enough.” I found myself saying back to him.
Was I teasing him this time?
He let his tongue brush against his lower lip in a flash, his eyes slowly trailing off towards my neck and I knew where they were headed.
“You make it hard to focus every time, Nessa.”
I was aware my cleavage was buffing out of my dress more than usual and this was due to the position he had put me in against the plush bed.
“Eyes up here, young man.” I quickly said and he responded, finding my eyes again.
His next words almost came out in a stutter, but he delivered. “I-I'm sorry… I shouldn't have…”
I pushed my luck at him, slightly lifting myself off the bed to meet him midway and with a simple clash, my lips sorted after his, planting a faint kiss upon his lips softly.
He was taken by surprise, extremely mortified that I had initiated this and when I laid back to the bed, his eyes already had a thousand and one question lying in wait for me.
He looked like a confused child, turning more red than ever. I folded my lips in, not sure what to do next or expect from him.
But we understood each other in pauses, the tension between us riveting as it pooled into heating us up in the space between reaching and being held.
“Vanessa—” He reached for my face at once, cradling it in his hand and there was a fierce urgency in the way he reached out for me— as if he had waited his whole life for this closeness.
Our lips met and I melted, our tongues intertwining with every thought slipping away— except the sweetness of the moment.