63

63
Francesco

I miss Brinda.

I miss her so damn much.

But missing her isn't enough to fix what I did.

When she was mine, I treated her like she was nothing — Like trash. 

A burden. 

Something to possess, control, and discard when I wanted. But she wasn't any of those things. 

She never was.

And now? Now, she is gone. And all I have left is regret.

How much longer will this guilt claw at me? 

How many more nights will I stay, drowning in my own self-inflicted torment?

The old woman in front of me watched me with knowing eyes, her voice quiet but firm.

“I stood by the window, talking to my son when I saw her rush into the building. It didn’t take long before men in black surrounded the place. Then… Gunfire. The whole house exploded in chaos. And that’s all I know.”

She paused, studying me.

“You look really worried about her.”

“I… I…” My throat tightened.

“Never mind, darling,” she said softly, brushing a hand against my cheek. A touch so foreign, so unfamiliar. 

Something my mother never gave me. Then again, she wasn’t my real mother nor Elizabeth is. 

“She will come around. She's a nice girl. When you find her, let me know. Her contact isn't reachable right now.”

I nodded, swallowing hard, but the second I turned away, the weight of everything came crashing down.

As much as I tried to hold back my tears, I couldn't. When I felt tears brimming around my eyelids, I ran to the car, shoving the door open as I barked, “Danger, drive.”

The engine roared, the city lights blurring past, but my mind was stuck in the past.

This is the perfect time to open The Black Book but I can't. 

Why the fuck did I not collect the crypt key from Brinda?

Who knows where she kept it?

The Syndicate Ledger contains every dark secret of the underworld — Transactions, alliances, betrayals. If I could just open The Black Book, I might finally piece together what really happened that night.

That night five years ago… The night that ruined me.

Five years ago, on the night I thought that Brinda betrayed me and laid with men while she told me she was on her way home, I received a call from Danger telling me that the entire world would crumble. 

Even though I ran away from home. 

Away from bloodshed. 

Away from the underworld. 

Away from tearing human beings apart. 

Away from being a subject of sorrow in other people's households. 

I still couldn't deny the fact that I hold Ronald in high esteem and believed that he was my father. He gave me everything I wanted when I was a kid, abandoned by my biological parents as they said. But, Elizabeth said I was brought home by Ronald. 

I couldn't watch and let him die. If not, I would blame myself till my death. When I believed that Brinda used me and the Dante family would crumble, I rushed back home. 

Back to the life I wanted to run from. 

Back to the life that scared me the most. 

But what did I turn to after I returned?

A beast. 

A devil in human form. 

I tore humans out of rage, betrayal and hate. 

And that resentment still lives within me till today. 

You might want to ask why I am punishing Brinda for this?

If I am suffering, she has to suffer as well. 

She never saw or considered me as someone she could trust. She told me severally that she loved me. That, I believed as we went through the good and bad times together. 

I can't even forget how much Sarah, her adoptive mother, loved me. She cared for me like I was her son. 

The main reason I brought Brinda back is because I wanted to punish her. I wanted to make her feel guilty. I wanted to make her see what she had turned me to. 

If only… 

If only she had not gone back to the club for some extra work, I would have stayed with her nevertheless and forgotten about the Dante family. 

If I am asked who I cared about the most then. I would gladly say that it was Brinda. 

She was perfect. 

She was good. 

She was nice. 

She was sweet. 

She was adorable. 

She was beautiful. 

She was more like a Disney's princess. 

But what did she give me in return?

Betrayal!

She betrayed me several times but I never cared about it. I was drunk in her love… I was drunk in her love more than I could have described. She was a spy for a secret organisation but she never told me. I waited patiently thinking she would tell me one day but she never told me. 

And it's all because of love. 

I believe the word ‘Obsession’ should be better. 

A little scratch and I was shaking already. A little touch by one of the men she stripped for and I always felt as if I should shred them apart. Just by looking at her beautiful face, I wanted to give her the whole world. 

But can I still do that? 

I guess not. Not especially after what I did.

If she were to return to my life, would she still accept me?

Leave that for later. 

Where the hell is she?

I can't find her. I just want you to feel her. I want to see her. I want her to touch me. I need her. 

My house has been nothing but a graveyard. I had not spoken to Bullet nor assigned a new mission to her.

I can't get hold of myself. I feel weak. 

And my mother? 

We haven't been on the same page. 

She wants me to kill Brinda but I can't. I don't want her dead. I can't let her die. 

Also… The night I went to confront Marshall after he killed my men, I lost the only antidote to The Deadly Nightshade.

How will I cure Brinda? 

Will she die just like that? 

That can't be. I have to find another antidote. I've got six months left. 

However, the most important thing is to find her. 

I need to find Brinda. 

I brought my hands to my face and I felt some liquid on them. My heart raced while I turned it gently to see what it contained. 

They were in tears. 

Tears. 

What I haven't shed in five long years. These are emotions I haven't felt for years and I am feeling it. 

All because of what? 

For Brinda. I love her. 

It's something I can't deny. But I can't also deny the fact that my obsession for her is greater than the love I have for her. 

Be it in death or in life, she would be mine whether she hates me or she loves me, I would accept it. 

Brinda, where are you?