Chapter 174 Be Assertive
>>Seraphina
I sat in the small clearing, my knees drawn up to my chest and my face buried in my arms. The tears kept coming, my sobs echoing softly in the quiet forest.
I felt utterly alone, my heart aching with the weight of my doubts and fears.
Why am I like this? I’m breaking down even though this is nothing serious. Nothing was even confirmed, it was just mere words coming out of Zena’s mouth. And even if they were true, I shouldn’t be reacting like that
I’m not a kid
…
I closed my eyes, yet it hurt me so much. It wasn’t what Zena said, but rather the possibility that came along with it. I heard this is a new pack, what if Azef decides Zena is the better option?
My chest felt constricted.
But even if he does, I shouldn’t be acting like this. I know I like him, but should I be crying like this? Tears rolled down my cheeks. I can… These are my feelings, I’m not burdening someone else with them.
I sniffled.
I can’t believe how much mere words and the entrance of another woman has affected me. Is it because I like Azef too much, or is it because he’s my first love and I feel everything like a stupid teenager?
I wiped my cheeks as I sniffled. I ran away like an idiot too, everyone must have noticed. I let out a sigh as a few more tears streamed down my face.
Is there anything I can do at this point? I really really like Azef. I probably shouldn’t have liked him when my father stole from him, but still, I can’t help it.
I looked at the sky.
What should I do now?
Minutes passed, though it felt like hours, and I heard footsteps approaching. At first, I tensed, afraid that it might be Azef or even Zena, but then I recognized the voices—Runy and Lila.
“There she is,” Runy said softly, his voice filled with relief, “I told you I caught the right scent.”
I looked up, my vision blurred by tears, as they stepped into the clearing. Lila rushed to my side, kneeling down and wrapping her arms around me without a word. Her embrace was warm and comforting, and I clung to her, my sobs slowly subsiding.
“It’s okay, we’re here,” Lila whispered, her hand gently stroking my hair. “But why are you crying?”
Runy crouched beside us, her expression a mix of concern. “You’re hurt because of what Alpha Zena said, aren’t you?”
I shook my head, wiping my eyes with the back of my hand. “Maybe…”
“Not maybe,” Runy replied, “That’s a definite,”
Lila pulled back slightly, just enough to look into my eyes. “We understand. It must have been so hard for you.”
I nodded, fresh tears spilling over. “Did you all really not know about Azef’s marriage?”
“He didn’t talk about this with anyone.” Runy and Lila shared a glance, “It might be because nothing was finalized.”
Lila nodded, “I get that the whole thing was a blow to you, but believe me, none of us had any idea the Beta was thinking of marrying someone.”
“Is he going to marry her?” I asked.
“He clearly said, ‘no’,” Runy replied, “You heard that too.”
I nodded, wiping my tears away, “I’m,” I wanted to speak but then I felt ashamed. I wanted to say I was scared but do I even have the right to be scared? I’m scared of losing Azef but it’s not like he was ever mine.
Runy placed a reassuring hand on my shoulder. “Beta Azef cares about you. He probably just made that commitment before he met you.”
I sniffled, trying to absorb their words. “But isn’t she someone important to him? She said she could help your pack, while I don’t amount to anything.”
Lila squeezed my hand gently. “None of the pack members care about that,” She said, “We’re all happy enough to have a pack of our own, more than getting other packs to acknowledge us, we want our own people to be happy first.”
I stared at them, “You think Azef would be happy with me, rather than Zena?”
“He has no romantic interest in Alpha Zena,” Runy replied, “She has been a business partner to him and she’s been here on official meetings a number of times too, but the pack members don’t really like her.”
Lila chuckled, “The wolves from our pack would choose you over Alpha Zena anytime.” She placed her hand on my cheek, “Didn’t you see their reaction today?”
I nodded, “Yes,” A subtle smile spread across my face, “But what about Azef? In the end it’s about who he chooses.”
“Like I said, I’m sure he’s not interested in her romantically,” Runy replied
“Didn’t Azef spend his rut with her?” I asked a question that baffled both Lila and Runy
“No,” They both shook their heads, “Alpha Zena is only being assertive. She liked the Beta, so she’s staying stuff to get closer to him.” Runy answered.
“But since she’s a purebred wolf, the pack members aren’t that comfortable with her.” Lila said
“But I’m not even a wolf,” I sniffled.
“But you’re adorable!” Lila hugged me, “And I’m sure the Beta has taken a liking to you!”
“You think so?” I asked softly as I let Lila smother me.
“You know,” Runy began to talk as she placed her fingers below lips, her tone thoughtful, “How about you try being assertive too.”
!?!?!?
I blinked at her, feeling a bit taken aback. “Assertive?”
Runy nodded, leaning forward with a serious expression. “Yeah. You care about Beta Azef, right?”
I nodded slowly, my heart aching at the thought of him.
“Then you need to show him,” Lila said firmly. “Don’t let someone like Alpha Zena come in and make you doubt things. You have to fight for what you want.”
My eyes widened at her words. “But… how?”
Lila exchanged another look with Runy, and then she turned back to me, her eyes sparkling with determination. “You need to take a stand. Go to him and make it clear how you feel. Don’t be afraid to show him your love.”
Runy grinned. “And sometimes, actions speak louder than words. A kiss can help you out.”
I felt my cheeks flush. “Kiss him?”
Lila nodded, her smile encouraging. “Yes. You need to get his attention, show him that you’re not going to let anyone come between you two. Be bold. Sometimes, that’s what it takes.”
I looked down at my hands, my mind racing. The thought of being so direct, of kissing Azef to claim my place in his life, was both thrilling and terrifying. But deep down, I knew they were right. If I wanted to be with him, I had to take a risk.
“But what if he doesn’t feel the same way?” I whispered, voicing my deepest fear.
“Be more confident in yourself.” Runy replied, “And you really think he doesn’t feel anything for you after all he’s done for you?”
I looked at her. She’s right. He wouldn’t do that all just for some random person, “No…” And maybe I wasn’t deluding myself. I was just scared so I ran away. But I should fight before I break, right?
>>Runy
‘I’m pretty sure the Beta likes her’ Lila and I talked in our minds as we were taking Sera back to the pack house.
‘Me too,’ Lila answered, ‘It’s pretty obvious to the rest of us.’
‘She’s not very bright, is she?’
‘Well, she’s human,’
‘Humans aren’t idiots.’
‘Then maybe it’s just because she’s inexperienced.’ Lila smiled at me, ‘We should help her out.’
‘How?’
Her smile turned sinister, ‘Let’s go talk to the rest of the pack!’
>>Seraphina
Runy and Lila took me back to the pack. I thought a lot as we walked back and I came to the conclusion that they’re right.
I thought about it many times too that Azef’s actions were clearly showing his interest in me. So, unless he outright rejects me, I should go on the offensive mode and see how it plays out.
I realize I don’t amount to anything as an individual but if Azef likes me, that should be enough, right?
“Seraphina,” A man’s voice reached me.
!!!
I shot my head up when I heard Azef’s voice.
Oh?
We had reached the backyard of the packhouse and he was there waiting for me.
“Azef?” I kept walking while Runy and Lila walked off in a different direction.
He walked over to me, “Where did you go?” He asked as he came over and grabbed my hands, startling me. But of course, I didn’t hate it, so I gently grabbed his back.
!!!
“I,” I looked at him softly, “Just went to clear my head.” I can’t tell him I felt heartbroken and ran off. That’s so embarrassing now that I’m thinking about it.
What a stupid move on my part. I ran away mostly because of my insecurities.
His gaze softened, “Are you alright?”
I nodded, “Yes,” Then I stared at him,
“What is it?” He said, “It looks like you want to ask me something.”
I nodded, “Are you going to marry Zena?”
“No,” He replied immediately and although that brought peace to my heart. I needed to ask him something more.
“Why did you suddenly change your plan?” I asked and my question seemed to catch him off guard.
“Uh- well,” He paused, then looked at me again, “I’ll answer that if you tell me why you ran out after hearing what Zena said.”
!!!!