Chapter 59 Bullies
Clio
It happened one day when I was sitting in the class in high school, there was a ting of pain in my stomach but I didn't pay much attention to it. By this time my body was already having a lot of problems because of all I had gone through.
I was constantly stressed and wasn't eating properly. Anything I ate, I would feel sick and puke it out.
Ever since Clio's death, my whole life had turned upside down. I couldn't meet with my friends since I was no longer me. And adjusting with Clio's guy friends was harder. In the end, I had to change schools a bunch of times and I turned into a loner with no friends.
I was trying to endure the pain that kept increasing and I didn't know what to do about it because I wasn't even sure about what was happening.
Not until the girl sitting behind me scream
"Teacher!" Everyone looked at her, including me, "Clio is bleeding!!!"
And it was then I looked down at the seat and noticed the red liquid seeping out of my pants. My eyes went wide in shock. Embarrassment took over me because I instantly knew what was happening.
"Clio?" The teacher came over, "What is happening?" She looked down at the back of the chair and I found myself unable to answer. I couldn't say anything. My ears were turning red and my pupils were shaking.
"I-" How was I supposed to answer? What am I supposed to even say? Just seeing this would make anyone suspect me!!!
My heart trembled. I noticed the other kids trying to see what was going on and with each passing second I became even more nervous. In fact, I was fretting so much, it felt like the world was starting to spin.
I had no friends. So no one came to my aid. My hands started to shake and my voice just got stuck in my throat. I was already distraught at how awful my life was. I hated everything about it and now this was happening.
The tears just welled up in my eyes on their own.
Why....?
I gulped as I pursed my lips, trying not to cry
Just why...?
How long does this have to go?
How long am I going to be stuck in this all?
"Quiet!" The teacher yelled at the whispering students, "On your seats," She demanded and the kids who wanted to come over to get a better view sat back down with ugly pouts.
She was wearing a coat that she took off, "Get up," She said, "I'll take you to the nurse's office."
I raised my head to look at her with tears in my eyes.
"Clio," The teacher's expression got softer after seeing how nervous I was, "It's okay," She tried to calm me down, "Let's get it checked." She nodded at me as I continued to frown, "Get up for now," She offered me a hand and I extended mine towards her which was shaking.
She covered me immediately as I stood up and walked me out of the class. But the others didn't stop talking. They eyed me weirdly as I walked out of the classroom and their voices got louder the moment we left.
"Clio," The nurse stared at me in confusion, "Child, you," She paused, "You're on your period..."
I closed my eyes in defeat. I knew I wasn't wrong. The moment I saw the bloody seat I knew that was it.
But how?
The doctor had told me the chances of me getting my period was pretty slim with how my body was deteriorating...
How did this happen?
"Clio," She stared at my bio-data form, "You-"
I still remember the look of horror on her face. She was so confused but I don't blame her. "It's something females get when they go through puberty," She shook her head, "How old are you?"
"Almost eighteen..." This was the mid of senior year and it was very obvious that someone getting their first period during this time was beyond odd. And let's not forget the other factors that were involved in it.
"Why are you dressed as a male." She slammed her hand on my health chart, "And why?" She shook her head, "Is your sex written as male?"
"...." I couldn't bring myself to answer her. What was I supposed to say? Luckily the teacher had left to call my parents so it was just the two of us and only she found out about my secret but the explanation for it all was too complicated...
And I was afraid that even if I tried to explain it a little. I would end up breaking down. Too much of it was weighing down on me. I was already getting ruined,
I wanted to run away
I wanted to escape
I wanted to be free
I wanted to be like other girls
I wanted to be like other students
I wanted to be normal
I wanted to have a normal healthy body
I wanted to enjoy my youth but for eight years,
EIGHT FUCKING YEARS!! I was stuck pretending to be my brother and I had no idea when I'd get to escape it all...
My father burst through the room, followed by my Mom who looked beyond stressed. Dad was in a hurry but Mom took her time with her steps. Her gaze was dropped and she looked disappointed.
"Clio!!" He came rushing towards me, "What happened!?" He pulled me into a hug, "Are you alright!?" His grip was tight and my face was next to his chest, "I got a call saying you got hurt." And I could hear his heart pounding loudly.
....
My emotions dropped, so did my gaze, and I knew that there wasn't going to be a day when I would be able to take my anger out on my father.
Because times like these proved how terrified he got whenever his child was in danger or got hurt.
"Sir!" The nurse stood up, "What are you doing to your child?" She pointed at me, "Why is her gender written as male?" She showed him my bio-data form.
"Why?" Dad didn't let me go, "Because Clio is a male."
The nurse was dumbfounded, "She's clearly a female!"
"No," My dad shook his head, "I think you're confusing him for my daughter." He tried to remain calm, "They very much look alike."
The nurse was baffled, "That is your daughter!"
"No, no," Dad shook his head, "My daughter died..." He placed his hand on my head and I felt his grip get stronger. Almost as if he was afraid.
....
I kept my mouth shut.
The nurse turned to look at Mom in horror. And Mom Shook her head at the medical expert. Her expressions were worn out, and she looked tired, but her appearance made the nurse get the hint that something was complicated here.
"I," But she was so confused she didn't know what to do. So, Mom decided to take charge.
"Darling," She then went ahead and approached Dad, "Calm down, Clio has a cut on his thigh..." There was a deep frown on her face as she lied her way through, "Let the nurse treat him."
"Ah, yes," Dad nodded, "Make sure he's fine,"
All the nurse could do was nod her head in return and my parents went outside to cool off.
The nurse wasn't sure how to deal with this, but she still gave me the emergency things so I could go back home. My Mom came back soon after and begged her not to reveal the whole thing to anyone else and all the nurse could do was make up a lie and tell the teacher that I had a medical problem and so that's why the bleeding happened.
But high schoolers being high schoolers didn't like it. The girls gossiped that I was bleeding like how girls bleed while on their period and the guys wanted to pull a prank.
Although I was completely unaware of it.
My period barely lasted twenty-four hours and then I was free again but the incident made everyone suspicious of me.
I was already an outcast because I couldn't blend in with the rest of the kids but since that day it got worse. I was ignored before when I passed by but after the incident, people started to whisper about me whenever I walked by anyone. They all gave me creepy gazes and even laughed at me while pointing fingers.
It was all on purpose to degrade me.
The air became charged with an uncomfortable tension, and I always felt the weight of judgmental eyes boring into me. I would usually sit at the second last seat which was by the window to distract myself yet the heavy sense of isolation that settled over me felt so suffocating I had to keep my tears in every single day, only to go back home and cry in my bedroom.
The nurse's statement made everything even more weird. She could have just used the same line mom did and said that I had an injury. But I couldn't blame her either, she didn't do it on purpose but she did make everything worse
No...
I couldn't really blame her at all.
It all happened because I started my period in the middle of the class...
I used to be invisible but then I became a target for bullying.
It started small.
With people throwing things at me like crumpled paper balls and erasers. And they started calling me a weirdo which eventually evolved to 'freak'
It was all too much to bear but what could I do? I couldn't defend myself and tell them all that I wasn't a freak. I was a girl and this whole facade was all due to an emergency.
But each time, the words just got caught up in my throat. The fear of losing my parents were larger and each time I would just shut my mouth tight even before making an attempt to speak up.
Day by day, the emotional toll mounted. I felt the sting of every cutting remark, the ache of every deliberate snub. The classroom became a stage for their quiet torment. All I wanted was to be left alone but it felt like a distant wish.
My stuff disappeared mysteriously, and the subtle rearrangement of my belongings became a passive-aggressive form of intrusion. Every time something was missing from my locker, I would stand there staring at it, feeling nauseous and the urge to let my tears out.
But I couldn't.
The bullying didn't stop there. I don't know why they were doing all that, but they all were having fun treating me like an infected animal. The heaviness in my heart, the lump in my throat, became constant companions, overshadowing even the simplest joys,
Slowly destroying me.
But still, what was I supposed to say that could help me? I had no one to stand by me, I was alone...
There was only half a year left and then we'd all be graduating. I didn't want useless trouble so I chose to just endure it all. If I exposed myself, wouldn't all my years of silence go to waste?
But even when I tried to stay quiet, the bullying tactics evolved into a form of psychological warfare.
Each time I thought it wouldn't get worse. It did.
Each time when I would pass by and someone would trip me, making me fall face flat on the floor, they'd all laugh.
Each time I tried to go to the bathroom, they'd block my way. And with all my heart, I didn't think it could get worse than that.
But then it started.
Notes with derogatory messages found their way to my desk, carefully folded to conceal the sender.
Each time I came back to something like that there were low laughters followed by hushed words and exchanged glances
And Each time, It would break me a little more.
What did I do to deserve this all?
The internalized pain, the stifled protests, became a burden too heavy to bear. It wasn't just the sharp sting of a cutting remark or the ache of exclusion; it was a slow, gnawing erosion of my sense of self.
I was losing my mind.
But the thing was, each time I came back to something weird and heard the sinister whispers and those malice filled snickering, it was always followed by the word, 'Freak'