Chapter 167 Only Hope
>>Seraphina
No
How could I do that?
That would be too shameless and selfish of me.
If someone told me to forget about someone irreplaceable in my life. I would feel disgusted and I wouldn’t want to ever see that person again. How could I ask him that? I looked down in shame. I can only hope that he would look at me and give me a chance.
My heart stung.
I can only hope…
“Why did you bring me out here?” I asked.
“...” He noticed that I changed the subject, “I thought I’d take you out for a ride.” And luckily, he didn’t pressure me into answering and played along.
???
“A ride?” I looked around, “Why?”
“So that you feel better,” He scratched his cheek with his index finger, “I want you to feel better… But this is the only thing I could think of.”
!!!
My heart did that thing again. It reignited the hope I was trying to bury.
He’s doing this for me? Why? Why is he caring so much about me?
“On what?” But I didn’t see any vehicles around. In a place like this, I guess a dirt bike would do good but there wasn’t even a bike here.
“On me,” He replied as he pointed at himself
!!!
“Excuse me,” I looked at him in horror, “What did you say?”
He smirked, “You’ll ride me,” He replied and I looked at him with my mouth open and a frown.
I’m gonna ride him?
“You?” I blinked at him in confusion.
How??!?!
The evening air was thick with the scent of pine and earth, a welcome contrast to the oppressive atmosphere that had weighed down my heart for so long. As the sun dipped below the horizon, casting the forest in a cloak of twilight, I felt an unfamiliar sense of anticipation stir within me.
I sat on the edge of the porch, my fingers tracing idle patterns on the wooden railing, when Azef emerged from the shadows. His eyes held a mysterious glint as his wolf form trodded towards me.
!!!
He had transformed into a magnificent werewolf, his fur a shimmering blend of dusty and gray, his eyes still holding that familiar, reassuring warmth.
"Oh," I whispered,
He nodded at me, lowering his massive head to nuzzle my hand gently. Despite his formidable appearance, there was a gentleness in his movement. With a soft growl, he lowered himself to the ground, inviting me to climb onto his back.
"Are you sure?" I asked, hesitating for a moment. I don’t know what had gotten into him and why he suddenly wanted to take me out for a ride but the thing is, I still agreed to it.
When he said that I get to ride him, I couldn’t resist the offer.
He nodded at me and I nodded back.
Carefully, I climbed onto his back, my fingers gripping his fur as I settled myself securely. Once he was sure I was ready, Azef rose to his full height, the power in his muscles a palpable force beneath me.
WOAH!
I could tell he had a very strong form.
And then we were off, racing through the forest with a speed and grace that took my breath away.
OH MY GOD!!! It was so sudden but at the same time so exhilarating that I grabbed his fur even more tightly. The wind whipped through my hair, carrying away the remnants of my sorrow with each exhilarating stride. Trees blurred into streaks of green and brown, the ground a distant memory as we soared over fallen logs and under low-hanging branches.
OH MY GOD!!!OH MY GOD!!!OH MY GOD!!!OH MY GOD!!!OH MY GOD!!!OH MY GOD!!!
For the first time in what felt like forever, I felt alive. The sheer exhilaration of the ride, the primal connection to the wild, filled me with a sense of freedom I hadn't known I was missing. I leaned forward, pressing myself closer to Azef's warm body, feeling my heartbeat echoing in my chest.
I didn’t think anything could make my mood better, but somehow this did.
And it’s not because of the exhilarating feeling only, it’s also because of who I am doing this with. I looked down at Azef.
This all has to count for something. If I was just a collateral for him, he wouldn’t go out of his way to make my mood better. But he is, so I can delude myself a little more right?
I can hope a little, right?
Maybe I’ll just end up hurting myself more, but I don’t think I can let go of these feelings when he’s being so nice to me. I don’t think I can escape at all.
I lowered myself and hugged his body, letting his fur touch my skin.
I trust him when he said he’d get Eris back, that already made me feel better by giving me hope.
But about the other thing…
I gulped
So far, I haven’t tried to flirt or seduce him. My heartbeat drummed in my body. I don’t have any experience, but maybe I can do something to catch his attention and make him want me.
…
Can’t I?
My thoughts and my feelings were a mess. I knew I was walking on thin ice but the problem was, I was nowhere near the edge. I was already in the middle, standing on a large frozen lake where I couldn’t even see the end due to the heavy fog all around me. My legs were trembling while wearing those ice skating shoes and I even felt the ice crack around me.
I could cross this place or the ice could crack and I’d fall under.
I could choose not to move from this place but that would only make me more miserable. I want to at least try. I can’t ask him to forget his mate, but I could try and earn his heart.
Right?
We ran until the world around us became a symphony of moonlight and shadows, a dance of light and dark that mirrored the tumult within me. As we finally slowed to a stop beside a tranquil stream, I slid from Azef's back, my legs shaky but my spirit lighter than it had been in days.
My hair was a mess, so the first thing I did there was tone it down with my hands while Azef circled around me.
I took a deep breath, the crisp night air filling my lungs, and I let out a deep breath. The moon hung high in the sky, casting a silvery glow across the landscape, its light dancing on the rippling surface of the water. The lake was a mirror, reflecting the stars and the towering silhouettes of the surrounding trees, creating a perfect symphony of nature and night.
“Wow,” The word escaped my mouth on its own. Around the lake's edge, the grass was lush and soft, sprinkled with wildflowers that seemed to glow under the moonlight. Willows and oaks dipped their branches into the water, “It’s a beautiful place.”
The air was filled with the gentle sounds of the night—the rustling of leaves, the distant hoot of an owl, and the soft murmur of the water lapping against the shore. The scent of pine and fresh water mingled with the earthy aroma of the forest floor, creating an intoxicating blend that filled my senses and calmed my racing heart.
Azef came and stood beside me, his wolf form was so huge, such that his face was right next to mine. When he saw me get relaxed, he nuzzled his face with mine
!!!
It startled me a little but I won’t lie, I liked it too. I nuzzled my cheek on his as well. He seemed to like it while it made my heart do a flip.
I looked at him with my pupils shaking.
I felt like in his wolf form, he was a little different. Could it be because their animal instincts take over? But it’s still him in there, right?
“Azef?” I called his name and he nodded at me.
Right. That is him, “Can I not talk to you in your wolf form?” I asked,
He paused for a second, then shook his head at me
“Oh…” That was a little disappointing but I understood it, “I see,”
He watched me, then came closer, a low growl escaped his lips and I looked at him. He went down, asking me to mount him again.
“Should we leave?” I asked and he nodded and looked at the sky. Is he saying we should leave because it’s too dark now? “Okay,” I got on top of him and he stood up on all fours but he didn’t start running right away.
He turned his face towards me, the side of his face faced me and I wondered what was wrong.
He let out a low whine but I couldn’t understand him.
“Is something wrong?” I asked. He stared at me for a moment, then shook his head. Even if something was wrong, it’s not like he could tell me in that form
I let out a disappointed sigh.
I wish I could understand him when he’s like this too. Otherwise it makes me feel the distance between us and I became aware of how big it is.
I was in my room, sitting on the edge of the bed with a single light on. Azef didn’t shift back and went straight to his room after we came back while I went into mine. So I couldn’t ask him what he was asking back there at the stream.
I was feeling better though and I felt a little hungry as well. But now with a clearer head, I thought about other things.
I can get on top of Azef in his wolf form, but can I do that in his human form?
It’d be nice to ride him in the bedroom…
I pouted my cheeks
….
Then my face went red at my own thoughts.
What am I doing?! I buried my face in the palms of my hands! I’m having such indecent thoughts!!
I shook my head to get them out of my head.
GOD!
I looked up at the ceiling and let out a sigh
But on that note what can I do to seduce him?
I let out a sigh again when I caught something from the corner of my eyes. I shot my head towards the open window of my room, then my soul left my body and I let out a scream.
“AHHHHHH!!!!”