48

Amina

"Thanks for coming," Ivan told the doctor and went out of my room with her. My thoughts went back to how he had his eyes on me while the doctor attended to me. I clicked my tongue in annoyance. He always looks at me like that, like he has something to tell me but never says anything other than orders when he is with me.

Yesterday, when he did like he was going to kiss me, I was excited. I didn't know why. It's probably because I've never kissed anyone before and he was so close to me. He says all of that to me and makes me want to kiss him and then chickens out.

I would bet that he wants to talk about yesterday but I am not going to give him that chance. I heard his footsteps as he returned to the room so I froze in my position and closed my eyes. I couldn't hear his footsteps anymore after a while. I was tempted to open my eyes to check if he left or was just standing at the door but I fought it and kept my eyes closed.

He started to walk towards me. I knew because I started to hear his footsteps again and they kept sounding closer with every second. Was he staring at me now like he always did? I didn't know, I couldn't tell because my eyes was closed but I felt like he was. It was now hard to keep my eyes shut because I could feel him standing right there and looking at me nonstop.

I started to hear his footsteps again and just when I was about to open my eyes after the footstep noises, I felt his arm brush against mine. He was in the bed. He was in the bed! With me! Is he crazy? What is he doing?!

My eyelids became itchy as it was now harder than before to keep them still and pretend to be asleep. Why wouldn't he just leave? His arm brushed against mine again as he adjusted his position on the bed. Everything became weird. My breathing took the pace of weirdness because it became hard to even breathe calmly with him lying next to me.

Oh shit. I think this is when he finds out I've been pretending to be asleep all this while; I felt like my eyes couldn't keep shut anymore. I almost opened them when I felt the blanket shuffle and he wasn't by my side anymore.

"I know you don't want me around and are probably mad at me so I'm going to leave now. Goodnight. I'll come check on you later, to know if you are alright and if you need anything just let me know?"

“Okay.” My Brain gave me the answer to give but I pressed my lips tight from uttering a word.“Say Okay Amina,” my brain told me again but I ignored it.

He started to leave. I knew when he opened the door and was about to leave but he was taking longer to leave. When he finally left and closed the door, I opened my eyes and blinked repeatedly to restore my sight before inhaling deeply and exhaling after with an 'oof', because that was hard; pretending to be asleep was hard.

I sat there thinking about things now. He joined me today in bed while I slept-he should know I was sleeping, my eyes were shut-Was that something he did casually on other days while I was asleep? Did he usually join me on my bed after I had fallen asleep everyday or was today the first time he was doing that? I wanted to rush after him and ask him but he thinks I'm sleeping now.

I threw my head back to groan but my head started to ache again. I almost forgot what situation I was in. Goodness knows I hate being sick. It was tiring, having to be in bed all day to REST, and most times even when you try to fight it, you can't because you become too weak to do so.

I came out of bed and started for the bathroom. The stupid door made a noise when I shut it after going in the bathroom. He definitely knew I wasn't sleeping now but that would be if he was outside my door listening for noise...oh whatever. Let him know, I don't care. It's good after all, if he knows that I don't want him around.

Later, into the night.

I was semiconscious in bed when my room door opened. It was Ivan. My eyes were partly closed and even if I wanted to call it a dream, I knew it wasn't because he came to my bed and began to check my temperature with the back of his palm like my nanny would do it.

He touched my forehead, then my neck and  it was very foreign when he i felt his curved index finger caress my right cheek. He did that for a while before leaving and closing the door again.

I thought he had returned to his room and wouldn't be back but he came back like three other times to check for my temperature and every time he came, he stroke my cheeks. Alien as it was to feel his hand caress my face like that, I enjoyed it every time he did it. If I wasn't too tired and also too proud, I would have asked him to sit by me on the bed and do that nonstop. Why? Because it felt good.

Morning.

I opened my eyes after I turned in bed and was started to see Ivan sitting on the chair in front of the vanity mirror in the room while dozing off. I wonder if he slept there since last night.

Of course, he did. I remembered when he came checking on me time after time last night. Maybe he got tired and just decided to pass the night in my room. I smiled to myself. I know he can certainly join me in bed and sleep but that would have probably made me freak out when I woke up so he decided to stay in the chair.

If I'm being honest right now, I really wanted to kiss him that day. I didn't know what it was back then and I still don't know what it is but I keep getting more intrigued by him with every passing day. It could easily be attributed to the fact that I was spending all my time around him most of the time but whatever.

I got out of bed, feeling better than yesterday even if there was still a slight headache. I went to him on the chair. He was sitting with his arms folded and his thighs apart and for some reason I thought about what it would be like to sit on him. I bent to get closer to his face and stared at his lips. It's crazy but since that day, his lips had become a pinnacle of attraction whenever I look at him. I had stared at them too when he received instructions from the doctor yesterday.

I started to trace my fingers across the contours of his face, from his cheekbones to his jawline; I could feel the little hairs which weren't visible to the eyes. I was about to play with the tip of his nose when his eyes suddenly opened and peered at me.